North Korean Regime


Please, WATCH THIS!!!!




I'm fucking upset. @_@

Sleepy & Skipping

I'm just talking to Manis (I'm finally at MSN) and we're both single, tired of life and its school/job and wanting a change we can't allow to come cuz she has to suffer in her job for a certain time in order to have better position later, by finding another job; I, in the last grade, just can't quit the school and leave and forget university.

I have to remind myself often, that NO GRADUATION = NO UNIVERSITY.

Fuck, but I oh so wish I could just quit this suffering.....

Today I woke up an hour late cuz the night before I went to bed at 1am and fell asleep at 1.40am...my nose started to bleed and mother suggested my staying at home. And so I did, instead of coming to school late, again. I called the doc so she could give me that stupid stamp to the list of absence but she refused, saying that I have to have a reason for visiting the doc.
I'm so pleased. -_-

Blaaahhh.

Like the right ah lian I did my manicure (the pedicure is awaiting me) and then examined my ugly irritated, damaged complexion (my nose is AWFUL), irritated & damaged it some more and then took up reading the Brunette's Diary at Lesk.sk, the portal for women.
I'm like a REAL ah lian liao, really, soon I'm gonna get hair extensions, gel nails & fake eyelashes....and then hallelujah! Haha!

*But actually I totally love those eyelash extensions which Xiaxue has*


OMH, this PC is so slow... I wanna throw it out!!!! @_@

The pedi now. And I'm gonna continue with reading Lesk.sk, it's stupidly soothing. Aaaaah. ^^
Shitty, shitty life!

Lazy, Lazy, Lazy

It's Sunday today & my Sunday is held in the meaning of COMPLETE LAZINESS.
Shocking, ain't it. Ha ha ha.
So far all I did was chatting to people on ICQ, went out with Haku, got angry at the ducked up PC, ate & did manicure. WOOOW.

Yesterday I've been to Teresa's & Pedro's bday party and came home at 1.30am by feet again....aiyooh... WHEN WILL THERE BE A DAY WHEN I'LL BE HOME BEFORE MIDNIGHT???!!!! WHEN???? :P O_o
Maybe never. =_=

It's curious walking home alone in the quiet, nocturnal city... I had to cross the highway and for that I used the overhead for pedestrians... I saw the cars passing by under me, I saw the distant lights of the very historical downtown...I heard the rustling leaves on the trees...
AND I WAS OH SO DAMN ALONE.
I went half of the way with UJ who lives nearby me, but as he's everything but a gentleman, he gave a damn flying duck about walking me home - who cares, it's just 1.30am!!! - so I went totally alone for the last 15mins.

It'd be GREAT to have a boyfriend who'd walk me home at these late hours!!!
Bratislava is a safe city but still...you never know whom can you meet at 1.30am when walking upstairs through a park full of rustling trees. Hm.

*thinks of various cute Koreans in polo t-shirts*
*_*
^_^;;;

***

Yaaay, by the way, check out this Sang Woo's photo:

(*Credits*)

SO HANDSOME.
He looks so damn awesome & hot & lovely, like the perfect English gentleman, it stops my heart!!!! O_o *___* That irresistibly hot face! AAAHHHH!!!! *dies*


I'm over BYJ. ^_~ Hahahaha. KWON SANG WOO is the new SARANG of mine!!!! ^__^ *__* Saranghaeyo!

***

"La La La" by Se7en ROCKS DUCKS!!!! :D





It's still his mainstream R&B pop but I still love it. :P And he!!! OMD!!!! *_* *eyes pop out* VEEEERY VEEEERY HOT!!! ^_^
That girl....oh...couldn't she switch places with me? She'd be bored at home talking to people on ICQ and I'd be hugging Se7en and later kissing him. Muahahahaaa! B-)

***

I think my obligatory autumn depression is here liao!!! x_x

TO HELL WITH COLD WEATHER.
TO HELL WITH GREY & BLACK EVERYTHING.
TO HELL WITH CHILLY WIND, FOG & RAIN.
TO HELL WITH LIFE WITHOUT A NICE COAT.
TO HELL WITH LIFE WITHOUT A GREAT BOYFRIEND IN A NICE COAT. (Hahahaaaa)

AAARGGHHHH!!!!! >_< @_#




Listening to: "Hot In Herre" by Nelly on a radio
Yay!: Ehh...my pretty nails? -_- *yawn*
Grrr: I WANT THE FUCKING SUMMER BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tired & Pissed Off
{Lemme rant, just lemme rant a bit lah}

THANK YOU, DADDY FOR DUCKING UP MY PC.
I can't even launch the MS Office!!!!! *screams in anger*

Also I'm SLEEP-DEPRIVED.
As usual, okay.... I know I'm always sleep-deprived and I know it's really unhealthy but I can't help myself with my insomnia or whatever - yesterday I again couldn't fall asleep until wee hours of like 2.30am or so. And I wake up at 6.25am. Hmmm... LOVELY. -_-

It's 9.20pm and I'm supposed to study for tmr's Society Studies and History of Art tests but it's not like I have any energy left for it. =_=


EEEHHH.
Whatever.


I YEARN for the time after maturita when I'm accepted (or not) to whatever uni!!!! FREEDOM!!!!
AAAH!!!! *___* *shiny eyes*

UUuuuuaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAaaaafdgfcfy...hgfc~~~~!!!!


Pardon me the title.
But. BUTT.
My father has finally done something with my ducked up PC and now.....it's ducked up another way. =_=
My Azureus ain't working. So isn't iTunes, Winamp and even the Windows Media Player!!!! All my mp3s are prob gone and if my Photoshop is working, then I'm a Goddess of Whatever.
AAAAARRRRFFFGGGGFGFDGRDGX!!!!

Oh.
I'm now reinstalling my MSN.....and I've already reinstalled my ICQ. *sighhh*

273-997-013, don't forget la, if you have ICQ and I KNOW YOU, add me!!! :)



I had this scary dream recently - it was about my blog! *covers ears & eyes*
There I was sitting somewhere in front of a PC and thought that nobody is looking at me, thus I blogged a bit and then viewed my blog re-reading the entry.....and then my friends came, I hurriedly closed the window but they had enough time to see the ah lian pinkness of this bodoh layout and exclaimed in a bored voice:

"Oh please, don't go hiding your blog before us, we've been reading it for like 2 years already!!!"

I gasped and almost fell from my chair, "You've been READING it?! EVERYTHING?! Like really EVERYTHING?!"
I remembered all the things I wrote here.
All those rants about my family, my ex-bf, this country, my school, my life...all the rather sensitive stuffs about UJ, S (amazing how they have met in one category together now), T, whoever....all those stupid swoons over ex, BYJ and 456458 other hot Asians!!!! ALAMAK!!!! @_# My friends read it all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IN MY DREAM ONLY LA. At least I hope so. #_@

***

I was reading the Limkokwing Uni materials which Raymond brought here almost a year ago (in Jan to be precise - was it such a long time ago liao?? O_o) and....and....I'm sending an application there too. :P I got manipulated by the perfect marketing strategies of the uni and now I can't resist it. Hahahaha! :D
It seems like a kool school....yeah...marketing...psycho weapons on my weak personality....couldn't resist it.... *mumbles mumbles*

SO LKW AND CENFAD!!!!
ALL THE DUCKING MALAYSIAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!
:D :D :D
I hope I get accepted, learn Bahasa Malaysia too, get ducking rich, buy a bungalow on some paradisey M'sian island, buy a maisonette in River Park Bratislava, buy an apartment in the centre of KL, find THE man and live happily ever after...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


OKAY. =_=
Stop dreaming, babe.


But mmmmm, I feel the taste of the wheat grass drink on my tongue. AAaaaAAAAaaaaahhhhh. I'm salivating liao.
SAVE ME!!!!! *____*



Listening to: "Get Along With You" by Kelis
Yay!: I have silver shoes for my prom. YEAAAAHHHH. Just 28 Euro, ain't that kool? :)
Grrr: Got Geo test tmr. =_= WTP. =_= I THINK I LOST ALL MY MP3S. FUUUCCCCKKKK.

My Fucking Classmates

The word FUCK is used very often here. I'm FUCKING pissed off.

That AP thing.
I'll tell you its story now.

As we have maturita this year, we're also having this special evening where we get the green ribbons or whatever fuck.
It's a tradition here that thje 4th graders give "oznamko" what's a fancy piece of paper with whatever mottos & the owner's photo and the names of all ppl in the class, the head prof & blahblah.
And this oznamko is that AP thing I've been doing probably since I stepped my foot into the fucking 4th grade.

In normal graphic studios it's like, the client comes, the client tells you exactly what the fuck he wants, pays you & fucks off with a nice project the designer does for a nice sum of money.

In my class it's like, the clients (my classmates) want oznamko, so they just say "Come up with ideas", tells you NOTHING, give you NO INFO (not even the Ad Revidendum year for fuck's sake) and let you do it. Got freedom, you say, ar?!
Okay.
So you've got the freedom.
And after you - the only person!!! - bring your design to school, you get scolded for *this* not being there & *that* being there. And you have to change *this* & *that*.
Okay.
So you change it & bring it back.
ADD MOTTO HERE.
You add.
REMOVE THIS.
You do. It's 1am in the fucking morning, your eyes are bloody & itchy, you're fucking tired but you do remove it.
You bring it back.
They hand it back cuz they disagree with whatever fuck.
So you change whatever fuck again.

YEAH!!!!

IT CAN BE!!!

NO MORE SLEEPLESS NIGHTS BEHIND ADOBE PHOTOSHOP CS2 WHICH YOU DON'T KNOW WELL ENOUGH TO WORK WITH IT WITHOUT PROBLEMS!!!!!

NO MORE SLEEPLESS NIGHTS CURSING AT THE FUCKING SCREWED UP PC!!!!!

YEAH!!!!


And yet, you're again mistaken.
They don't hand you back your CD, they just tell you to add *this*, remove *that* and move *those* over *there.
So you curse like there's no tomorrow but do it.

YEAH!!!!

NO MORE SLEEPLESS NIGHTS!!!!


You wish, you pathetic maggot.

Change *this*!
Add *that* name*!
Write *there* *that* motto!

You curse even more AND do it, swearing to all gods & mermaids that you're NEVER EVER gonna do it again.

But still, you do it.

You hand them another of your CDs and they go with it to that fucking printer dude.

And they call you back to CHANGE *THIS*, *THAT* & *THAT*.
That happened to me yesterday when I was fucking enjoying my relative freedom.

Then your fucking classmate B tells you that after you do it, you have to email her the oznamko even if it was at 1am (when she's normally sleeping soundly while you're working & cursing) and even when you request it, she doesn't give you the email add of someone at the fucking printer's.
Okay.
So you email her oznamko at 0.30am and curses for the last time.

And yet, she calls you THIS MORNING (6.35am!) and tells you that she didn't receive that email (which got fucked up twice while you tried to send it, andf you also had to restart the PC) and tells you that you have to email that fucking woman yourself.
Oh, ain't that kool, she allowed you to do it!!! *shiny eyes*
You have enough brain cells to send YOUR oznamko to that woman!!!
WOW!!! Let's party!!!

You're tired like 500 fucks but yes, you email her that.
While writing the email your noses starts to bleed and your eyes are fucking itchy.
So you lay down and wait until the bleeding (oh, maybe your nose bleeds cuz you've slept less than 4 hours? Could that be the reason why? *dumb smile*) stops and inevitably miss the 1st class in the school.
But back to the email.
You send out the email & Y! tells you that "an error occured" and you have to send it again.
Same story as with the email to the fucking classmate.

So you send two emails.

Your nose is still not really OK and your eyes are still damn fucking itchy and you curse like there's no tomorrow but yes, you send it.


JUST LIKE I DID NOW.

I'm fucking pissed off.
For all the nerves I lost during this fucking oznamko making I deserve at least 4 million Skk, okay?!
ARRRGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!



Oh, and one another detail.
My oznamko design was the only one given to the 1st deadline.
Then nothing was happening.
Then Erik & Inge came up with ideas. And told me to make them, even though Erik has some friends skilled with AP.
I didn't do it.
Then Marek designed his oznamko & that was nice. Only that it was 1 month late after the 1st deadline.

Then we all argued which we want.

Because on the 575th deadline suddenly the people woke up and said that they want neither mine, nor Marek's design.


FUCK OFF AND ROT IN FUCKING MAGGOT ASSHOLE, YOU CHEEBYES!!!!!!!!!!!!!




I'm fucking pissed off.
And I really need Ophtalmo-Septonex. AAARRRGGGHHHH.



It'll take a business class airticket to KL or Singapore or a 3 weeks stay on Pulau Perhentian to befriend me again.
You hear me, fucking classmates?!



Listening to: MTV
Yay!: NOTHING
Grrr: EVERYTHING

Mampos Me Liao

I need to be mampos-ed.
12.25am and I've been working on that fucking AP stuff YET AGAIN.

This time it was the supposed 47658th last time. *cough kills everyone cough*

My eyes are itchy, my skin is broken out & my nerves are gone.

Do I really want to be a Graphic Designer???? @_# =_=

.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Oh, yes, I do.... *sigh*

CENFAD CENFAD. :)




Listening to: "Trouble" by Coldplay. I like that title. Reflects my feelings. AAARGH.
Yay!: Gonna earn more $$$ on Thu. Mmmm. Oh, and I got the Marionnaud customer card finally with some points liao. YEAH~
Grrr: I FUCKING HATE PC!!!! I NEED MAC!!!! PLEASE!!!! AAARRGGHHH!!!!

Dispirited

EVERY Monday I'm dispirited.
EVERY Monday of this year I mean, and it's ALWAYS after the art course.

=_=

I just DON'T have any T*A*L*E*N*T. 'Nuff said. T_T

We were supposed to draw a damned still life consisting of 2 boxes, 1 can & 1 plastic glass on the table and of course we had to pay attention to the perspective and mine SUCKED A BIG FUCKING DEAL. Not even 40% of those fucking lines were correct. The angles were all wrong. The box1 looked weird and the box2 on the box1 looked as if it wanted to fly away from the paper. The can was too far from the boxes and it had a weird shape. So did the glass.

FUCK. IT.

I'm looking at the LKW's Graphic Design & Multimedia course and slowly dying inside knowing that neither Cenfad nor LKW will become true.

I'll try.
I'll try hard, even though after each art class I feel like the worst shit.

And if I don't get there, I'll shut up and go try some Mass Media or Marketing or some Linguistics....
And if I get there, I'll seriously start to believe in God, fairies, mermaids, elves and ghosts.

*sigh*

I WISH I'll get there.
HOPE.
WANT.
I've been drawing for almost my whole life, it just can't be that I'll end up as some linguist and whenever I'll be flipping thru any pointless mag for dispirited poor housewives (myself in 30yrs), I'll look at the ads with eyes full of tears, bang my head on the table and wail aloud: "Noooo!!! AAaaaaaHH!!! WHY hadn't I gotten *there*?!?! WHY?! Why were I so lazy?! Why had I given up so easily?!?! WHY OH WHYYYYY???!!!!??"

I've realized the uncertainity and misery of my future few days ago when I was happily walking to my TOEFL prep course and I had the TOEFL book in that black Limkokwing University bag in which Raymond brought me the materials about LKW.

You possibly can't feel what I felt. @_@

I felt a scary emptiness. Yes, and a fear.

You see, I'm NOBODY. I have never earned a single koruna of my own, I'm dependant on my parents, I'm not even 18 years old, I live from what they earn, I don't even have the high school education completed - I'm NOBODY.
And here this NOBODY was walking to the TOEFL course (paid by mother) in nice clothes (paid by mother), holding a black bag with proud, white letters telling the whole word that *this* is the bag from the Limkokwing University. As if the Nobody Girl were already an uni student.
HA HA HA HA!
Ain't that funny, considering that the Nobody Girl would be lucky even to pass maturita?!?!

*dies in depression*
=_=

Okay.

I.
MUST.
STOP.
THIS.
WAILING.

I've found three PERFECT encouragement quotes here *click*:

“Only as high as I reach can I grow, only as far as I seek can I go, only as deep as I look can I see, only as much as I dream can I be.”

“Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.”

“I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.”

I'm loving it.
Gonna print it out in BIG letters and hang it above my desk or bed. Waaaaahh. *_* ^_^



Listening to: "I'm OK" by Christina Aguilera. Kika borrowed me her Stripped album and it's fabolous. I love that gal, she's SO talented!!!!! ^___^
Yay!: Those quotes. Mmmmm.
Grrr: I HATE this uncertainity!!! @_#

I Geddit, I Have To Die, Thank You

WHATEVER I fucking do is always fucking WRONG to my mother.

AAAAARRRGGGHHH!!!!!!!!

Now I did what..?

Talked to my mother's colleague's son (let's call him MH) about his sis who found a rather...errr...untypical boyfriend. And that boy told his mommy right away about this. AND that woman is fucking pissed off at MY mother which is fucking pissed off at ME.

"I lost *her* cuz of YOU!!!!"
"Why? O_o" *wonders WTD is up*
"She is now hysterical & paranoid that everyone knows about her daughter's bf! That it's spreading around! You could do nothing better than talking to MH about that?!?! Are you outta your mind???!!!"
"O_o What's wrong at talking to my friend about his sis whom I know..?"
"AAARRRGGHHHH!!!!!!"

WTF ar.
My mother is literally asslicking that woman just cuz she's influental in mother's company. They're friends, but I think my mother is being a hypocrite cuz at home she utters nasty stuffs about her AND then she goes to Pilates with her. AIYOOOH.

Maybe I hould just die & stop destroying your life, shall I?!?! >_< Hija de puta.



Listening to: "Oh Mother" by Christina Aguilera. Such irony. Listening to *that* when I'm pissed off at my mother and vice versa...
Yay!: Friday tmr. Mmmmmm!
Grrr: Read the post. Arrrgh.