I'm feeling like I'm living in a fake world where everything is unreal, all people are false assholes & I'm one of them.
Probably I *really* am a poseur. I'm NOT myself in front of everyone. Sure, we all wear some 'social masks' but still....
I don't even know why has it gotten so much to me now but I've suddenly realised that I'm DUCKING TIRED of all the pretending.
You assholes. Not you, my 0.05 readers, that was meant in general to stupid people~
WHY SHOULD I PRETEND ANYTHING IN FRONT OF YOU?
Why should I dress up sexily? Just so XY creatures that use dicks instead/as brains can masturbate when projecting my look?
WHO cares about any make-up? Li Hong is right, natural is the prettiest. Only I'm not sure if I'm able to stop using it, I find it quite necessary. Yeah, I know I'm contradicting myself. :P
Why should I waste money on mojitos & branded stuff? Fuckers, it's just a pose. And I was a DAMN HUGE poseur last summer. I'm tired of mojito (virgin, I drink the virgin one) and besides, it's just another drink...and EVERYONE in BA that wants to look cool, hip, stylish, rich, down-to-earth & laid-back drinks it. =_=
I'm sick of you, fuckers.
At least I'm not going with the flow (partially due to the lack of money) in terms of the apparel.
NICE. You're DA MAN!!!! *pats back*
Maybe you remember, maybe not, how I was going with this flow last year. I've SO wanted a violet Hilfiger coat & around 50 Lacoste stuffs.....but those were the days when I had yet to understand, that I'm acting like an idiotic kid.
I'm also having second thoughts about learning tennis cuz I don't really feel like I'm that kind of a tennis person, you know? I LOVE LOVE LOOOOVE badminton, but tennis seems too complicated & technically difficult to me.
Most importantly, I've never been particularly *interested* in it, only this year, I somehow persuaded myself that it's a very happening & interesting game and if I won't keep a track of what's going on in it, I'll be a loser.
Ah, sounds like just another pose. -_~
Dunno, dunno, dunno.
I'm trying to be someone I'm not & I'm not trying to be who I am.
Sounds confusing? I hope it doesn't. In times/moods like these I feel like it'd do me the best if I've just packed my toothbrush (and my eyedrops of course!) and left for some tranquil, crispy clean & beautiful place with NOBODY humanoid around where I could just chill.
I'm counting on Malaysia, btw.
New people, new place, new school, new almost everything.
I solemnly swear that I'll be ME, MYSELF & I and nobody else.
LIFE = CHANGE & CHANGE = LIFE.