Le Poseur


*RANTING QUACK*


I'm feeling like I'm living in a fake world where everything is unreal, all people are false assholes & I'm one of them.
ARGH!!!!
Probably I *really* am a poseur. I'm NOT myself in front of everyone. Sure, we all wear some 'social masks' but still....
I don't even know why has it gotten so much to me now but I've suddenly realised that I'm DUCKING TIRED of all the pretending.

You assholes. Not you, my 0.05 readers, that was meant in general to stupid people~
WHY SHOULD I PRETEND ANYTHING IN FRONT OF YOU?

Why should I dress up sexily? Just so XY creatures that use dicks instead/as brains can masturbate when projecting my look?

WHO cares about any make-up? Li Hong is right, natural is the prettiest. Only I'm not sure if I'm able to stop using it, I find it quite necessary. Yeah, I know I'm contradicting myself. :P

Why should I waste money on mojitos & branded stuff? Fuckers, it's just a pose. And I was a DAMN HUGE poseur last summer. I'm tired of mojito (virgin, I drink the virgin one) and besides, it's just another drink...and EVERYONE in BA that wants to look cool, hip, stylish, rich, down-to-earth & laid-back drinks it. =_=
I'm sick of you, fuckers.

At least I'm not going with the flow (partially due to the lack of money) in terms of the apparel.

Got Lacoste?
Hilfiger?
G-Start Raw?
Diesel?
Replay?
Guess? Cavalli?

NICE. You're DA MAN!!!! *pats back*
Maybe you remember, maybe not, how I was going with this flow last year. I've SO wanted a violet Hilfiger coat & around 50 Lacoste stuffs.....but those were the days when I had yet to understand, that I'm acting like an idiotic kid.

I'm also having second thoughts about learning tennis cuz I don't really feel like I'm that kind of a tennis person, you know? I LOVE LOVE LOOOOVE badminton, but tennis seems too complicated & technically difficult to me.

(Credits)

Most importantly, I've never been particularly *interested* in it, only this year, I somehow persuaded myself that it's a very happening & interesting game and if I won't keep a track of what's going on in it, I'll be a loser.

Ah, sounds like just another pose. -_~




Dunno, dunno, dunno.
I'm trying to be someone I'm not & I'm not trying to be who I am.
Sounds confusing? I hope it doesn't. In times/moods like these I feel like it'd do me the best if I've just packed my toothbrush (and my eyedrops of course!) and left for some tranquil, crispy clean & beautiful place with NOBODY humanoid around where I could just chill.

(Credits)


AAAAAAHHHHHHHH. ^____^

I'm counting on Malaysia, btw.

New people, new place, new school, new almost everything.
I solemnly swear that I'll be ME, MYSELF & I and nobody else.

LIFE = CHANGE & CHANGE = LIFE.

^^

Back Into Life

My eyes are operated, I can see EVERYTHING; I still have problems with focusing on short distances, but otherways it's fucking AWESOME! :D

Right now I'm in PN and I've successfully decluttered my email at Yahoo....by that I mean that I've finally deleted all the unimportant/read/silly emails, replied to few that I haven't replied to yet & so on.
Mmmmmmm. I like to have things in order, even though I might not look so. :P :D


On Monday I'm gonna enrol to LKW. I've wanted to do so last Monday but my mother forgot to scan my report card and without that I can pick my ears and sing Ricky Martin & NOT apply. @_@ But this Monday....for 100%.
Wish me luck, duckies!!!!!



I'm also feeling like I REALLY NEED A CHANGE.

LIFE = CHANGE.
CHANGE = LIFE.

Isn't it so true? :)


Here it's all the same old stuff.
Same faces, same places, same foods, same problems, same conversations, same shops....

I'm getting SICK of it, seriously. Aaargh. Cannot tahan. It's a damn good reason to go to LKW as well - everything will be different there!

I'm SICK of the people here.
I'm SICK of the Slovak "showbusiness" as well. It's just a false shit full of losers.
I'm SICK even of my friends here.

For example, Kucci, her topics include this one: "I'm so fat & dull and my life's such a boring shit" and another one: "Tennis, tennis, tennis."
The irony of it is, she can't play tennis, she's almost 70kg (and 161cm tall) and I'm afraid it's just a stupid pose. A fleeting pose, I HOPE... @_@

And then, the Hilfiger friend. Let's call him shortly H. Would you believe that his mommy & daddy will buy him an iMac even though his PC is still working AND he's not going to study neither GD nor Arch? Plus he doesn't know how to work with it. It's just so he can brag. His mommy will also buy him a bright pink Lacoste polo that looks well on big guys that have no chance of looking gay; sadly, H is blonde, thin, short and VERY gay.
And he's so fake.
And SO endlessly superficial. @_@


I feel like the people here, save for few exceptions (like DD, for example) are living fake, shallow, unreal lifes. They don't crave for anything deeper than all these materialistic goods. OH MY DUCKNESS. How can they even tahan it?!

Both H & Kucci don't sport at all. Sometimes Kucci goes to play badminton with me, but just to the National Tennis centre where the court costs 200~300Skk (depends on the time) and it's freaking hot inside. Well, but I guess that it's giving her this *feeling*. You know, it's still a National Tennis Centre. Sounds great, ar?

H is a chapter on his own.

But okay, I'll stop bitching, they can live the way the wanna, it's just annoying the hell outta me. @_@

I NEED A CHANGE!!!!!!!!

Officially Free

IT'S OVER. And I've gotten the grad report card and I'm FREE! I'm no longer a student of *THAT* grammasr school!!! ^_________^
THANK YOU, EVERYONE FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND LOVE AND EVERYTHING!!!! *hugs* ^____^

Tomorrow me & Kucci will go play badminton at the National Tennis Centre and then on Wed I'll have there the Power Yoga class with two of my friends.
And then, on June 19th, I'll have my eyes OPERATED with the LASEK way (google it, ok, but it's an operation based on the super advanced laser technique) and that means that I CAN'T wear my lenses for the next two weeks.

OMD!!!

Super weird! I'll have to wear GLASSES!!! O_O I haven't worn the glasses on public for million years already; who cares that they're Vogue and I don't look *that* bad in them....I'm still just not used to wearing em. Wahlau. O_o



On another note... I'm glad I won't meet certain my ex-classmates ever again. I'm a bitch, oh yes, I know I am, but at least I'm not being hypocritic. Today me & Kucci went to have some pizza and my Hilfiger Addicted frie..err, an ex-classmate, had joined us.
GOSH. *faints*

I CAN'T STAND HIM A DAMN MINUTE!!! @_@

He's so blunt, he's so stupid, so superficial and so egocentric....THE WORST MAN EVER, IF HE EVEN DESERVES THE NAME 'MAN' AS HE'S PRETTY GAY.




I'm such a bitch. ^_^



But as I'm testing the FS, it's OK. *evil laughter*

I've read we should get rid of stupid & annoying acquitances (or WHATEVER the word is, I can never spell it right @_@ :D) as they suck the positive energy out of us and I can only agree with this, cuz after mere 90 minutes with this Hilfiger Addict I felt more exhausted & annoyed than after a week of listening to Slovak hip-hop. @_@

Nothing against the Slovak hip-hop but it's really quite stupid. :D


Aaaah, I'm so tired already. -_-

Scared

FUCK. FUCK THE DUCK!!!!! <--- I'm a creator of new vulgar phrases ok

I'm the saddest example of the most bimbotic procrastinator EVER. Tomorrow is the day D with the LAST GRAD ORAL EXAM from Society Studies. Honestly, I can't even *pretend* that I know anything,. cuz I DON'T. Yet.....am I studying/revising..?

NO, I AM NOT.

If I fail tmr, I'll DIE. Gosh~ @_@

Dear Almighty Duck, PLEASE, lemme choose Schopenhauer, Nietzsche, Kierkegaard, Freud, Jung or Kant cuz I remember them at least a bit. Also the religionistics would do me good...just, PLEASE....NO LAW NOR ECONOMY.

Thank you.... *sighhhh*


I'm off to revising that nothing I know. Shit shit fuck fuck fuckkkkkkk the duckkkk. @_@




So far I've been acing it, I feel like Federer, hahha... Lit A, History of Arts A, English A.......ok, let's prepare for tomorrow's D...... ALL GODS IN THE UNIVERSE, SAVE ME, HELP ME, LEAD MY HAND TO A GOOD & EASY QUESTION, PLEASE!!!!



*prays*

On ProGamers

I was just watching the Arirang's Heart To Heart talkshow and there was this Polish dude with an honorable 'job' of a StarCraft ProGamer in the honoruable Korean ProGamers team.
Now, StarCraft is some stupid e-game where you probably kill some weirdos. I suppose it's like in all games for little boys; if you don't kill them, they'll kill YOU!

I love intelligent games.

Here's StarCraft:

(Credits)

This dude was a TYPICAL computer id....erm, geek. White as a ghost with glassy, empty eyes, 44kg, arms thinner than mine and a messy, ugly hair. He was wearing a white-lime green TEAM CLOTHING consisting of ugly pants and an ugly hoody. Cannot tahan.

He was speaking on how they're practising their idiotic StarCraft 13 hours a day and how it's very difficult, how he has no time and how the Korean computer idiots are much much better than those in Europe.

I've found a nice Polish (ah, the irony!) cartoon concerning the StarCraft Geeks. It's in Polish but I kind of understand it, so I'll translate it.

Year 1998:
The pig: "What Are you doing?"
The owl: "I'm playing StarCraft."

Year 2005:
The pig: "?"
The owl: "I'm playing StarCraft."

Year 2020:
The pig: "?"
The owl: "I'm playing StarCraft."

Year 2060:
The pig: "Oh no! Are you playing StarCraft?!"
The owl: "I'm downloading its newest stuff!!"


MUAHAHAHA, how accurate. The credits are *here*. ^^


Back to E-gamers.
WHAT KIND OF JOB IS THAT ANYWAYS?!
Oh duckness, I have a classmate who wants to become an e-gamer/progamer (however you call it) too and he so resembles this Polish dude. Only I dunno if this Polish dude also fancies porn with animals?! @_@

These people are DERANGED and nobody's gonna persuade me about the opposite.


The weirdest thing is, how importantly and normally is it regarded in Korea. Like, the e-gamers there are sort of heroic people.
Heroic for what ah?!
For masturbating 13 hours a day while playing idiotic games?! For being able to kill few virtual dudes in a virtual world with virtual everything?!

Wow, you hero, you've killed so many enemies.

Now, if I kick your 3cm thin arm, it'll get broken and you'll start crying cuz you're too weak to lift your sweaty hand from the mouse.


Ah, the irony again, there's this weekly (or even daily?) E-GAME MAGAZINE at Arirang now. The host is talking about how the dudes are playing, what they're playing, what strategies are they using and all.

I've watched it once.
In this episode 6 dudes went to the hairstylist to get a sexy haircut and then they had a photoshoot. OMFG, I thought I was hallucinating. A HAIRSTYLIST! A PHOTOSHOOT!!! For what ah? For some stupid upcoming e-gamers masturbating competition?!

Cannot tahan.


One day when I'll have a son, I'll NEVER let him even touch games like these. @_@ I can't risk him possibly dreaming about becoming a ProGamer. NO WAY.

These dudes should get a life, a girlfriend (so they won't be left to masturbating in front of hentai) and a brain.




Live and let live, they say.
I'm sooo tolerant but I can't understand these retards. If you happen to be an e-gamer reading my blog, at least you know now WHAT I think about your pathetic existence, thankyouverymuch.






Oh and on another note, I'm off top Piestany today and I'll be fucking busy. Aiyaaah! I'm supposed to work on my portfolios, learn English cuz of the TOEFL and there are voices whispering me stuffs about MATHS too but I dunno if I won't commit suicide hearing that word again. ARGHHH.

Take care duckies and see you on Sunday! ^_^

I Must Throw Away My Clothes!!!!





If I don't do that, they'll EAT me alive. @_@

I cannot tahan it anymore!!!!!! *bangs head*

I tide up my tiny wardrobe.
Then I pick up one top, one jumper & pants to wear.
After I take it off when I come home, I put it on the chair/on the lowest shelf in the shelves by the wardrobe.

Another day comes.
I pick up different clothes and when I return, I do the same as the day before.

Another day comes & the routine repeats.

*repeat repeat repeat*


My lowest shelf is full of wrinkled clothes once worn.
I stuff even the "chair-clothes" to the lowest shelf, therefore it's even messier and even more wrinkled.

Now what do I do?
TIDE IT UP..?

Ha. You wish. =_=

No, I start putting everything on the chair again. Then when I come home & wanna sit by the PC, I take the pile of wrinkled clothes and throw them on the bed.
Later on, when I'm off to bed, I take the wrinkly pile of clothes and throw them on the chair.

Usually some wrinkly pieces fall down, thus I mutter vulgarities under my nose, pick them up angrily & slam them at the chair again.

The next day exactly the same procedure repeats.
The day after that too.

A remarkably long time passes, I lose all my nerves and tide it all up. And then what? To get to know that, read this entry all over again. =_=



*WHAT* do you advice me to do with this fucking bodoh habit?!
I'm going berserk by now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't have lots of clothes and yet this happens! ARGGH!!!!
And all those idiotic WINTER CLOTHES!
Duck you! I hate jumpers (especially the woollen ones), various long-sleeved whatever and all those heavy winter boots!!!! *SIGHHHHHHHHH*

I'm the happiest ducky in a tank top/t-shirt, skirt/capri pants and flip-flops. Well, being barefoot is even better, but that also requires crazy-colored skimpy bikini, hot sand & turquise water. ^^

Like this la:

WAHAHAHAHA, that was a shock, wasn't it?! XD

Okay, here is something better; I hope it will please the disgusted men's eyes after seeing Borat in sexy, skimpy, lime green...errr....DICKINI???? XDDD But hey! What about those chicks by him?! Liked it, eh??


ANYWAYS:

*ROOOAAARRRR*

With this I shall sign off and go check out some blogs. ^^
Mwah.





^^

About Me WITHOUT Me




I seriously hate it how scatterbrained, unfocused, messy, procrastinating & lazy I am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I must do something about this.

Whatever schedule I set up for myself, I almost never behave according to it. For example, I'm already telling myself since December that I have to register for TOEFL. Grrr!

*

I'm editing this few hours later (11pm) & I can't continue on that topic anymore.

I AM SO FUCKING ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My mother was again way tipsy, reeking of her fucking wine & being aggresive to whatever I said. Fucking bitch!

Tmr she's gonna meet that dude from Graphic Design at 10am at Steam & Coffee.
It's all gonna be about me. WHOLE the fucking thing.

AND I CAN'T GO THERE CUZ I MUST GO TO SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUCK THIS LIFE!!!!!!!!!
Who is she to tell me where to go & what to do?!
ARGH, I'm soooo waiting for my 18th bday to come. I'll finally be fucking independant (sadly, not really because I happened not to be born as prince William/Paris Hilton/Mary-Kate/Ashley Olsen)!!!

Cannot tahan this.
And she didn't even get it; she thought I want to manipulate that dude & everyone so we can meet up later on....even though I was saying that I wanna GO there at that 10am!!!!
And she yelled at me what I think about myself & that for further questions I should "contact the president's office".

KNN!!!!

I'm also a naive, infantile, irresponsible & dependant kid according to her.
AHEM.
Should I let her spend one day with UJ?! She'll think he's still just gonna be conceived!!!!! AAARGGGHHHHH. >_< @_@

I must calm myself down.

Must make myself smile.

Must forget my anger. I'm a very angry person by the way; I wasn't but since those years of my mother's alcoholism I had became a very cynical, angry, sarcastic asshole. Thank you, if you still like me.


I MUST CALM DOWN.
*fumes*

*searches for relaxing pictures*






Did it help?
Not much. =_=



*

I've decided on applying for THREE schools:

CENFAD (Kuala Lumpur)
LIMKOKWING (Cyberjaya)
LA SALLE-SIA (Singapore)


The La Salle enrolment policy is that I have to enclose the personal statement & various blahblahs about myself & my relevant successes, courses & exhibitions (I had one!) and that's gonna be fun creating.... ^^ I also - of course - have to create a portfolio consisting of 10 works relevant to the course I've chosen (Graphic Design).

The ducks at LKW don't require any portfolio when I'm applying for the Foundation in Design Innovation 1-year course to which I'll be applying as it's the pre-requisite for the BA Graphic Design course.

And the ducks at Cenfad want my portfolio consisiting of 4 artworks on the set themes.

All three schools want the TOEFL/IELTS so I'd better move my fat ass & get it done ASAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! @_#




I'll be sooooo busy.
14 PERFECT artworks to create (but really PERFECT!!!), graduate, get TOEFL.... OOOOHHH, ALMIGHTY DUCK, GIMME STRENGHT AND THE POWER NOT TO PROCRASTINATE!!!!!!! :D


I totally love drawing & painting now. ^^ At least that, otherways I wouldn't get anywhere...but art....mmmm... ^^ My art prof will help me with both portfolios, that's so kool. ^^


Midnight already. I am going to take a shower....then sleep...and SCHOOL AGAIN. Arrghh, how I hate this terroristic routine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!x_x *fumes*

I Hate Choi Ji Woo



Just look at her:

This is the sexiest & the most feminine photo of her I was able to find:

Well, this dress is pretty skimpy, but look at the face! Ugh.

I hate Choi Ji Woo & not just because she could hug & kiss Bae Yong Joon & Kwon Sang Woo. That'd be too superficial. :P

I CAN'T STAND THAT HER BABYFACE & THAT "CUTENESS"!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Man, does she EVER act her age?! Does she EVER act like a woman & NOT like a 3 year old kindergarten girlie in pink dress with lacey hearts?!

I ALSO CAN'T STAND HER MINIMAL MAKE-UP!!!!!!!!

I know it's not easy for Asian women to wear eyeshadows & all AND let it be seen under those eyelids...probably just Xiaxue is the expert at it. :) I myself have almost Asian eyes, the shape is just a bit almond-y but I DO have the eyelids and I tell ya, I need A LOT make-up to make my eyes more visible.

But godness, Choi Ji Woo (or her characters in these two dramas I've seen so far..??) wears NOTHING. In both dramas she plays the good girl next door, the one who's smiling & her eyes are shining, whose cheeks are rosy and who's cute 24/7. And no make-up, therefore she looks like 3 year old.
I CANNOT TAHAN THAAAAAT!!!!!!!!! *bangs head*

Thank God she doesn't make the "V" peace sign or I'd explode. @_@

I hate it when she cries cuz she REALLY looks like 3 year old then. I hate it how she acts all vulnerable, pure, opens her teary mascara lacking eyes wide, whispers in a broken voice & shudders whenever a man touches her.
God, if I was a paedophile, I'd...
UGH!!!!!

Those Korean screenwriters probably have no fantasy. Aiyaaaah. =_=

Vulnerable, pure, innocent, young woman needed for a drama = LET'S CALL CHOI JI WOO!

LONG LIVE LEE HYORI, YOU SEXY LIONESS!!!!!!!

At least SHE wears high heels & make-up. =_=

*goes back to watching Stairway To Heaven & cursing Choi Ji Woo under her breath* :P