Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Memories From Singapore

I've just found this photo - the only one from Singapore I've got - of me & Manis in the Singaporean ZOO! ^_^
Waaah, I remember it as if it was just yesterday... *sigh*


*Irrelevantly, Picasa rulez. I've just downloaded it & I can't say anything wrong about it! :) Well, except of the fact that, even though, there's a Blogger "Blog This!" feature, I dunno how to actually blog it. :P Either me or them are bodoh.*

Singapore, Singapore.
When will I go there again...? O_o ._.

Tomorrow we're off to HURGHADA, EGYPT!!!!!!! ^__^
Sun, sand, sea, palm trees, all inclusive hotel & perv Egyptians who will all want to "fuck me ok u sexy ladi ok ur boobs so soft ok I wana kyss all nihgt long ok u sweet sweet baibee ok luv me, u wana mery me?"

Why do I keep analyzing my ex-r'ship suddenly?
I shouldn't have gotten into contact with ex-bf, now I'm thinking too much. >_< Must slap mai sexy butt ok.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Close To A Cardiac Arrest & Xiaxue Issues


For the past two days I've been e-mailing with Raymond's Dad and behold....Raymond himself emailed to me today!!!! *dies of cardiac arrest*

If I weren't that lazy and if my PC wasn't this slow, I would've logged into my email & pasted his email to here. But under the given circumstances (ie my lazy self & my slow PC) I won't do so. Teheheeee. Tomorrow, maybe!

Still, pretty shocking. @_@
His email was pretty indifferent & I could see that the poor boy doesn't really know what to write to his evil ex-gf. Poor emotionally constipated boy, someone help him out! :)

I offered him friendship & peace cuz I wanna have this K-drama situation solved at last; I don't like issues that drag along like diarrhoea. :P

Today, me & hubooby were bitching over Xiaxue.
I bitch at her, yet I still read her blog? Makes no sense! Erm well, it does, because I admit that bitching at successful, beautiful people makes my evil twin with no self-confidence happier.

Ain't I pathetic?! =_=

But geez, I wish I had that good (but not that photoshopped good) looks too! I wish I had those Photoshop skills! That success! Those freebies! Wah!!!

Even me, a disliker of pink ah lians with fake hair must admit that she DOES look fabolous:

A bit too fake, I know, actually TOO FAKE according to me, but if she likes it, then what? Nothing! ^^ Let her do what she wants!

I see fabolous chicks like her when hostessing here or there; they always make me feel so ugly & embarrassing and I always end up mumbling under my breath The Mantra Of Those Situations:

"Beauty isn't everything. It's not everlasting. It's subjective. It's
superficial. It costs a lot. It's more important INSIDE than OUTSIDE."

But WTF!
Imagine yourself standing next to a hostess with legs 5x longer than your body, long shiny hair, radiant complexion, perfect manicure & long, curled eyelashes (compared to the short, straight Korean ones of mine) & an IQ too! WAH!!! That's like, TOO MUCH!!!!!! *bangs head*

Luckily (and sadly too), there haven't been any events to attend recently what's pretty sad, in terms of money & pretty good, in terms of my self-confidence. :P

A Q for the end:


Kindly reply, whatever your preference is. ^^

Monday, December 25, 2006

Christmas Time & The Breath Of Past

Thanks a lot, all of you, who've sent me Christmas SMSes & the gifts. :)

I got a CAM!!!! YEAH!!!! A CAM!!!!! ^__^ It's not *the one* I've wished for (a more profi one with manual control of as many things as possible), in fact, it's the very opposite of that, but it's a CAM!!!! *___*
Olympus FE-200, 6 MPX, 5x optical zoom, yadda yadda! ^__^
Daddy, thanks a lot! ^^

Also I got two books, one about the process of making layouts called "Design Secrets: Layout" by Rodney J. Moore and the other one about contemporary art. Oh, and a dead sea mask & dead sea salt for bath and inhalation.
Not many gifts but nice ones! ^_^

Madre loved both the Shiseido cream eyeshadow & the stylish bag....and father liked those freaky polar bear boxers. Wah. I'm happy. :)

2am liao? OMP.

I got two e-mails from my ex-boyfriend's father in the name of the whole family!!!!
They are wishing us all merry Christmas & a Happy New nice of them to remember us. :) Ray's mom misses me...well, so do I, she's da best....and I miss them all, actually...even Raymond - in a certain weird way. :P
I also got an SMS from Teresa (ex's sister) wishing me the same....thanks a lot, babe.. :)

A breath of past indeed. At least for me... Long gone are the days when I'd sit religiously in front of the PC talking to I'm maybe even a different person liao. Dunno. O_o

I was thinking about myself & I've realized that I'm way too cynical & tired of life for my age. Sigh. I must take up a different attitude towards life, unless I wanna feel like 70 year old when celebrating my thirties! =_=


I'll reply to the email tomorrow (well, technically it is tomorrow already, but you know what I mean) because now I'm too sleepy for writing something coherent. :P

Christmasy feelings?
Still got none. =_=
I don't know what's with me this year. Everything is upside down & everything's weird!

Soon 2007 is here and that's gonna be hell of a tough & important year; if things don't work out, I'll be in a DEEP STINKY SHIT so please, whatever your religion or the lack of it, PRAY FOR ME!!!!! *___*

Mmmm, Let It Snow on the radio. ^^ Love that song! ^^

Hm. I think I should end this incoherent, pointless post. It's 2.19am I have a strong feeling of being lost in this world and I'm thinking about the upcoming year and its challenges.
Scary. And exciting.

Life's an adrenaline sport, isn't it?

You either know the rules and behave according to them & then you're relatively safe.....or you break them and you hurt yourself or die.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

It's Supposed To Be Christmas Tomorrow

Christmas? What Christmas?
Sleighs rolling, snowflakes caressing my frozen cheeks? Elks? The awful commercial Santa Claus with his idiotic red cap? Carp & potatoe mayonnaise salad? Family reunions & the overwhelming peace & love?

Oh, go to hell with it.

My father will celebrate Christmas separately from us cuz he's pissed off at madre being pissed off at him for being fired. Oh, men are logical beings...erm, that was just sarcasm here.
So what family reunion? Tsk.
I'll go to father's tomorrow to pick up the gift from him & to give him mine.

I SMSed my brother today wishing him merry Christmas & a happy New Year and he had only bothered to reply me like 6 hours later.

There's no snow outside, it's just awfully cold & I hate it.
Oh, byt there are HEAPS of SAnta Claus everywhere & the carols are playing 24/7.........I must confess I HATE IT.


But know what??? :)

I've already gotten one Christmas gift! An unexpected one actually!!!! :D

I saw S yesterday in the downtown with a bunch of his friends. It was pretty weird actually, whole that happening cuz we (our gang) was walking around the whole downtown desperately seeking a bar with places to sit for 7 people; we've started from point A, walked for almost and hour and returned to the A and discussed the options.
We were standing there & then I got bored and went to check out the menu of the nearby posh restaurant (they have pak choi!!!! OMD!!!!! I WANNAAAA!!!) and, just the minute when I've returned, the former 4 graders with S among them were walking down the street...towards us, to the nearby pub we were standing by. O_o

The nostalgy..... *_*

Surprisingly, in my heart I felt nothing when looking at him...nothing....just a nostalgy and an awe because he's handsome and cute as ever.

It seems like I've moved on.

Isn't that kind of sad?
I liked the feeling of liking someone...I got used to it after those years..and now I feel nothing when looking at him. ._. So weird.
On the other hand (am I schizo?), if you'd ask me whom I'd pick up as a boyfriend if I could pick up anyone, it'd be S. Maybe it's cuz I'm just so used to myself liking him but really...I can't imagine anyone else than him at the moment. And yet, I feel nothing when looking at him, just that nostalgy & an awe.

Decode me, please. -_-

When their gang was coming to ours, we looked at each other - in the eyes actually, for a split of second - and that was it. Then someone called him, he picked up his cellphone and talked for a while in front of the pub (he has an adorable laughter) and then...he went in.

I walked away deep in thought and unable to concentrate for the rest of the evening....from time to time I was saying things like, "His lips are gorgeous, mmm.." but I think I was just trying to trick myself into thinking that I still like him, even though I don't...apparently.
Waaaah. @_@

Well, many weird things happened yesterday apart from seeing S and feeling nothing.
There was this hot foreigner at the Xmas market with whom I had this lil' innocent flirt and then...I left. Who knows, maybe if I hadn't left, I'd have had a boyfriend by now.

Not that I'd want *him*. As I said, the only guy I can imagine being my bf is S. WTP.

Then there was this *other* guy sooo much trying to flirt with me...but with no success. Weed-affected, drunk testosterone packages ain't my stuff. *yuck* @_#

Also we've almost went to Laaaverna club, one hip-hop club in BA....

And in the morning we had Xmas market in the school & we had a Tropique bar with fake, awful mojito virgin, fruit (canned fruit) salad, juices and whatever. Yaaay, so fun. :)

Oh, I'm sooo tired.
Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year, duckies! ^__^

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Is My Mess Connected With The Mess?

Don't understand the Q?

Lemme explain.

I've been thinking whether my mess in the room isn't connected with all the shitty things happening these days. You know, like when 风水 says that with one's mess coping around the negative qi copes too....and affects all the life areas, thus leading to one's personal mess in life.

Tiding up my room is INEVTITABLE now.

I'm gonna test out the teachings of 风水 and see whether clean surroundings with the qi flowing in & out naturally also leads to a happier life!

With what shall I start?

The desk I think.
Then the floor.
The the dustbin.
Then I'm gonna shower the plants.
And then I'm gonna clean my Inbox cuz my virtual life must be clean too!

And good luck to Munie having her finals too!!!
Sleepy & Skipping

I'm just talking to Manis (I'm finally at MSN) and we're both single, tired of life and its school/job and wanting a change we can't allow to come cuz she has to suffer in her job for a certain time in order to have better position later, by finding another job; I, in the last grade, just can't quit the school and leave and forget university.

I have to remind myself often, that NO GRADUATION = NO UNIVERSITY.

Fuck, but I oh so wish I could just quit this suffering.....

Today I woke up an hour late cuz the night before I went to bed at 1am and fell asleep at nose started to bleed and mother suggested my staying at home. And so I did, instead of coming to school late, again. I called the doc so she could give me that stupid stamp to the list of absence but she refused, saying that I have to have a reason for visiting the doc.
I'm so pleased. -_-


Like the right ah lian I did my manicure (the pedicure is awaiting me) and then examined my ugly irritated, damaged complexion (my nose is AWFUL), irritated & damaged it some more and then took up reading the Brunette's Diary at, the portal for women.
I'm like a REAL ah lian liao, really, soon I'm gonna get hair extensions, gel nails & fake eyelashes....and then hallelujah! Haha!

*But actually I totally love those eyelash extensions which Xiaxue has*

OMH, this PC is so slow... I wanna throw it out!!!! @_@

The pedi now. And I'm gonna continue with reading, it's stupidly soothing. Aaaaah. ^^
Shitty, shitty life!
Being Harry Potter II

Such a LOVELY day.

Got caught at Geo test with a cheatsheet - not just a regular cheatsheet buit with one with ANSWERS for the test we were just writing!!!!!!
The prof took my cheatsheet and in case she reads it, I'm in a fuckin deep shit.

My father got fired from his work cuz of ALCOHOL; I dunno WTF he had been doing the last Saturday, but after that he got fired with the words that he's fucking up the good name of the company he's working for.

Now he can't pay the Egypt vacation (Dec 28 ~ Jan 3), we have to take another person & grandma with invalid passport is going, but before she has to have her new EU passport issued.....complications, complications.....

The only good thing of today is, that UJ woke up & we have PEACE. Finally! In fact, just now we've had a nice, long chat about this shitty fucked up life. :)

Oh, and another good thing....I drew a good portrait at the art course, only it was a bit bigger, it wasn't exactly the 1:1 ratio; it had that "movement", what the impressionists were trying to catch, though.

It's almost 12.30am, off I go to wash my hair.....FUCK THIS LIFE.


Saturday, December 16, 2006

A Day In Vienna With UJ & His 'Harem' where I also belong. Hehehe, oh, such an honor, I think I'm gonna melt. XD

This entry's gonna be short, you must understand my exhaustion; yesterday after a lil party in the downtown with friends I came home shortly before the midnight, I couldn't fall asleep until 1.30am, I had to wake up at 7.15am, be at the railway station at 9.15am (I came 8.55am of course, I'm always too early), the train was departing at 9.40am and then..... We were walking, walking, shopping, shopping, walking, walking...between those mad thousands of people in the street buying Xmas gifts.....and I came home at 9.45pm.

Let me sum up the day as much as I can!

The highlights:

  • the DAMN PERFECT Friis & Company bag I bought to madre as an Xmas gift - it's so beautiful, if she won't like it, I think I'll change my identity and move away from Slovakia with a forever broken heart!!!! *__* ^^''''
    I loove that brand, they have perfect stuff. ^^

  • the Vero Moda RED V-NECK TOP with that V-nech being reaaaally low, the top being as long as minidress and with its all concept being as stylish as OMFD!!!! *shiny eyes* ^_^

  • the VIOLET SCARF by Promod I bought to my grandma - it's totally gonna fit her!!!

  • the VANILLA - FOREST FRUIT pancake I had at the Schönnbrun Xmas market ^_^

  • the ENDLESS HOURS OF LAUGHTER we've had - thanx!!! ^__^

  • the GUYS!!!!!! --------> *eyes start to shine*

    I saw one hot Asian guy at the -1 level of Peek & Cloppenburg, OMFGDBPGFHJF!!!!!! *____* He was PERFECT, I swear. *love in eyes* Tall with broad shoulders, messy shiny black hair, radiant skin (not like mine now, fuck it), sparkling, beautiful eyes, wonderful smile, aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    If God exists, then I don't like Him, cuz The Guy only glanced at me (while I was staring at him mesmerized, hahaha) and nothong happened. *sigh sigh* I swear I'd melt into a puddle of a glittery duckwater (don't ask :P) if he had told me anything, even "Oh, you need M from this purple colored pullover?" (he was the staff)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *__*
    If I had a boyfriend like him, I'd probably be floating in the alpha level all the time. XD

    Then there was one another who, I think, was an E. T. cuz it's just humanly impossible to be THAT HOT. Darker blonde hair covering half of his face (bishounen style), dark grey-blue eyes, tall, lanky, broad shouders, bright blue polo t-shirt, dark brown V-neck (yes, my golfistas!!! :D), beautiful hands. OMFG!!!! *_* *_* *_*

    Still, if I had to choose (fuck, I mean, if I COULD even think of choosing..!), I'd choose the Asian guy cuz he was the prototype of The Guy. *_*

  • the SPAGHETTI FRUTTI DI MARE at this weird, crappy restaurant where they think that fruit salad = canned fruit!!!! :D

  • the NEW FRIENDS I made from 2B ^^

The darklights:
(highlights - darklights, geddit?! Hahahaaa, I'm so creative!)

    *takes a deep breath before a huge rant*

    He must REALLY think my only purpose in this world is to be there for him just like his parents, his iPod, his cellphone & his chewing gums.
    FUCKIN' ASSHOLE!!!!!!!
    As if it wasn't enough that on Friday I, again, had apparently too much time and agreed on going to check out some Motocentre & Applecentre somewhere in the whatever street in BA. NO ONE else but me would agree on such a stupidity and he, with his "independance" would never go alone so WTF.
    One would think he'd be thankful but fuck, he wasn't. And apart from him being dependant, spoiled, empty & pseudo-snobby, he also ain't emphatic & he can't listen.

    The typical Friday's conversation of me & UJ:

    UJ: *eyes shining like those of my boy cousin when he was 6 years old*
    "And then I saw *this car*, and *that car* and *that car* and *that car* and OMG, today I see nothing interesting here, not like yesterday, aaah..!"
    Me: *reacts to his cars & then, after a pause with UJ being quiet says something else* "...I wonder how it's gonna be in that Egypt we're going to...I hope we'll visit the pyramides in Giza too!"
    UJ: *TOTALLY IGNORES WHAT I'VE JUST SAID* "...and *that car*, OMG!!!!!"

    I wouldn't mind that happening from time to time, but what that fucking happens all the time... I felt like I'm either gonna turn on the spot & leave or kick his dick.
    Respect? Like, what's that, dude?!

    And today. Today in Vienna, OMD.
    I've realized one thing. I'm too good for my own fucking good & too benevolent too, so this weak, spoiled, dependant ass likes to take advantage of me.

    Who is supposed (rarely is asked) to help him out by choosing his ugly long-sleeved, tight Hilfiger/G-Star/whatever t-shirts? Yeah, ME.
    Like, can I fucking go check out my own stuff?!
    Of course, I don't give a flying fuck & I go check out my own stuff, but WTF, what kinda attitude is that!?
    Actually he told me I pissed him off last time in Vienna, cuz I wasn't advising him by his buys!!!!
    Oh, THANX A LOT FOR YOUR FAITH IN MY TASTE but may I mention that your parents (who bought nothing for themselves) were giving you advices & choosing clothes for you for all the 3 hours or so?!
    I think 2 people are more than enough for this business, plus, the more intelligent & independant of us, like me, need no one to shopping but themselves
    . -_~

    Also, I'm his EGO BOOSTER.
    He just sooooooo loves to bring me down.
    I'm stupid. I'm ugly. I'm mad. I'm insane. I'm idiotic.
    Today I yelled at him at the Vienna underground that he's a dick cuz I just couldn't take it anymore...

    UJ: "Mich, hand me that pape from my bag, please."
    Me: "Which paper? This one?"
    UJ: "The paper."
    Me: "This paper?" *hands him the fahrkarte, i. e. the busticket*
    UJ: "That *that* paper!"
    Me: "Not this one? *puts the ticket back* You've got 2 papers here!"
    UJ: "That paper, OMG! The ticket!"
    Me: *loses nerves & yells* "I've been handing it to you 3 mins ago you dick!!!!!!!"
    UJ: "Oh, you stupid bitch!"


    And the best thing - which is actually totally amusing me - is that whenever I salivate at some guys, it irritates him. Hahahahaha!!!!! XD XD XD I think he is jealous, cuz his personal belonging (me) salivates at other guys than him (who'd salivate at him though, hm?). XD WTP!!!! XD XD XD

    Me: *hearts in eyes, stares at The Guy* OMG, I loooove him, he's eyes.....ooohhh...... I'm in love!!!! *_*"
    UJ: "Oh Jesus Christ, Mich, you're so stupid, shut up finally!!!!"

    One day when he'll grow up...he'll maybe be a good guy, but now..... CANNOT TAHAN. Girls, if you ever come to BA & meet him, please, have nothing to do with him, he's still psychically at a level of a 4 years old mommy's sweetheart. XD

    I haven't had this kinda AWFUL complexion for million years already. Shiiiit!!!! KNN! TT_____TT I think it's cuz of all that stress, lack of sleep (and again, it's 1.14am, FUCK, I MUST GO TO BED RIGHT NOW!!!!) & the winter.

    I WANNA BE IN KUALA LUMPUR OR IN SINGAPORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! T____T

1.14am! Sorry to end it so abruptly, but really, I'm ugly enough not to make it worse by sleeping little even during the weekends. @_@

Have I said I am ugly???

Oh, Mich, don't listen to UJ, please!!!!

I am CANTIK, CANTIK, CANTIK!!!! And with the help of make-up I look even better. ^_~
You. Must. Only. Agree. With. Me. Cuz. I. Have. No. Self-Confidence. These. Days!!!!!!

Good night!!!! ^__^

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Cantik Pic

Just DARE to say my eyes aren't BEAUTIFUL & MESMERIZING and I'm never gonna quack to you again!!!!! :D Yup, tha was my prom make-up. ^_^ Perfect, wasn't it? My hair was also curled (permed?) and I looked like some classical Hollywood star...Rita Hayworth or Marilyn...and in that red satin dress & those silver sparkling heels...MMMM...I fell in love with MYSELF! :D

This layout rocks ducks.

And that SEAN PAUL wasn't bad either!!!! :D
We were dancing & singing & screaming & (yes, even that) yawning and my throat still hurts & my eyes are still itchy...or actually, even more, cuz it;s 12.32am and I'm siaaaaaaan..... =_=


P.S.: Xiaxue did a nose-job? *faints* O_o Whohohooo! :D Well, I think one day I might undergo a boob job so....quack on, Xiaxue! ^^v

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Playing With The Template

HA! I like this! I can edit it all I wanna! :D Shame that nothing's good for me. =_= :P This poopy brown sucks, lemme change it again! :P
Being Harry Potter


I was at the Headmistress' today cuz I dared to SMS my mom during the Literature class. Oh, may I suggest sending me to the jail next time I do something in the school, like, breathe?

It IS against the school rules, but fuck, no one was ever sent to the Headmistress for that before! Well, except for me. Such an honor.

My life reminds me of Harry Potter's life. He's also the kind of person who attracts problems even though he's doing nothing at all. Well, and sometimes because he's doing nothing at all!


This academic year has been a big, stinky piece of shit so far and I've only had problems.

Thank God Ivor has found his character and told the Maths prof the truth about that 'cheating' because now she (hopefully) no longer thinks I'm a cheater bitch.

Btw, even despite of my mad tuition 2 weekends ago, I got just 32% from the test, it was full of stupid errors and all in all, I AM STUPID & BRAINLESS.

I've passed the flunking border by 0,7% - I have 30,7% in total - which is really admirable, yes, I think I'm off to Cambridge, they might need a genius like me.. =_=


Who would be, right? Yes, nobody is too, I can see it at all these fucking problems, it's like, I almost expect being kicked out from the school next time I go to the cafeteria and buy a cake or something.

Where has my self-confidence gone??? I've never had a lot of it - there are no reasons for having it, let's be fair - but this year it has gone away to Tahiti for a holiday or what; otherways I can't explain these intense feelings of myself being a piece of crap.

I'm realizing that I'm truly NOBODY in this world. I have no special talent (a tiny one for painting maybe), no respect, no good looks, no money (this is relative though; but I'm for sure poor compared to Paris Hilton, haha) and what's the worse, no intelligence. FUCK!

{You must put up with my rants, this is the only place where I can rant all I wanna and no one's gonna kick my ass for that as it would be otherways. Here I can only lose some readers but because maybe 0,000056 duckies read my blog, I have nothing tio lose, literally! :P}

I'm also sick. Got sore throat and my eyes are itchy & sensitive.... I'm about to eat two Panadol Grips, hopefully it helps. -_-
It HAS to help...cuz tonight at 8pm I'm off to Sean Paul's concert!!!!!! :D :D :D

It's gonna be so fun.... And it's gonna be so SUMMER-Y!!!!!! *___* ^______^ I like Sean Paul's music, it's so rhytmic and totally hip. Ha! I'm going with Ali & DD and we're gonna dance the night awaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy!!!!! ^____^
I'm now listening to his "Trinity" album so I'll know the songs for sure, Hehe. :P

*the ah lian wakes up & glitters feathers*
What am I gonna wear?!
I'm going to Sean Paul so I should wear golden G-string bikini & 15cm golden stilettoes hahahahhahahahhaaaaaaaa, OMD, imagine *ME* wearing that!!!!! O_o @_#
*pukes & dies in horror*
I guess I'll stick to that polka dot minidress (or maxi-tank-top?), it looks stylish. Heheee. Then I'm gonna experiment with make-up and create sexaaaaiii smokey eyes...
OK, set! :)

Oh. I think I'm hungry. =_= Byebye sayangs, I'm going to investigate what's in the kitchen! :)

Listening to: "Give It Up To Me" by Sean Paul
Yay!: Looking forward to the concert! Yay! ^^
Grrr: My skin's awful, I'm constantly sleep-deprived, I have dark eyebags and I AM FUCKING BROKE.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Identity Probooblems

I have a strong urge to stop eating the bread 4x a day, forget the cheese, kick away all the potatoes and trade them for some sushi, dim sum & bulgogi. WTD.
It's not the matter of food though; I also have a strong urge to go buy tones of pencils with kawaiiiiiiiiiiiiiii manga animals, weep by sentimental Korean dramas, go take some AWFULLY CHEESILY DISGUSTING neoprint photos (I think that those neoprint photos can turn DISGUSTING once the person has no taste; please, for Duck's sake, forget all those glittery butterflies around one's head, the pinkish pink everypink and all those sparkling flowery frames!!!!! *eyes full of horror* Its driving me MAD!!!!! @_#) and go get my straight, boring, short Korean eyelashes extended a la Xiaxue.

Ah lian?

Yes, and with IDENTITY PROBOOBLEMS somemore!!!! *slaps head*

Must be that 1/4 Korean in me salivating for all the things mentioned above.

Oh, I've forgotten The Boyfriend!!! HOW DO I DARE?! @_@ XD
My 1/4 is salivating for a tall Asian architect/designer with broad shoulders, beautiful scent (guys, Jil Sander Pure For Men is THE BEST PERFUME FOR MEN EVER!!!!!), messy hair, IQ & EQ, sense of humour and.....
Oh, okay, I'll shut up, no one's up to my fantasies anyways. :P ._.

Since I was in the REAL Asia (SEA 2005) I keep having the incurable urges to fly away to Asia and live there cuz my 1/4 is squealing that "it has felt sooo hoooome there" and "it misses the whatever mee for breakfast" and "it wants the Asian cosmetics - *aaaah, Shu Uemura* - back" and "WHY THERE IS NO PAK CHOI HERE???!!!!" and so on.

Annoying 1/4, I tell ya. @_@

However, my Slovak 3/4 kinda agrees with my 1/4. My Slovak-ness (if I can create a new, absurd word) loves Bratislava, loves Slovakia, loves Slovak language (seriously, it's one of the most beautiful languages ever; I love its melody and the vocab full of lovely words! ^^) but still feels like SOMETHING'S MISSING HERE.

WTP. Must be that Asian flavour or, where's my Kikkoman?!
Hahahahaaaa, okay, that was lame. :P

But seriously, do you know that kind of feeling that something's missing in your life and you can't put your finger on it but you KNOW that something just ain't right?
I'm sure you do. And that's my probooblem! @_@
It makes me look very hobbit-like (cuz if you remember, hobbits love to eat) but I feel this lack of that *Asian flavour* when I'm about to breakfast.
No quacking!
Imagine the average European, ang moh's life which hunky Asians admire so much.

In the morning: BREAD + BUTTER + WHATEVER or YOGHURT or err...FRIED EGGS?
Morning's snack: BREAD + BUTTER + WHATEVER or TWIX (and its friends) or an APPLE
Lunch: MEAT + POTATOES or PASTA or PIZZA or McD or STEAK or....???
Afternoon's snack: Usually the same as the MORNING's one =_=
Dinner: The same as LUNCH

All so heavy. -_- WHERE ARE MY YUMMY ASIAN MEALS??!!! *cries* TT____TT I'll tell ya, I AM SICK OF BREAD. When I was in KL I didn't eat the bread for two months and didn't miss it at all.

Alright, alright.
I should MOVE ON, the KL times are over for duck's sake but those were the best times in my life so far, OK?! :P

Back to my identity probooblems.
You know what I loved at the shops in SEA?
Those stupidities with kawaiii little details they were selling over there.
Like those kawaiiiiiiiiiii shoelaces I bought somewhere at Orchard Rd with Manis! *_* Or those silly lil' cellphone bags (or WTD) I also bought in S'pore; I just couldn't resist it. Or I loved those heeled sandals with sweet & chic details and the sexy heel of a normal height. You won't get such a thing HERE. Here everyone wears awful, boring black/brown/beige leather shoes which are hideous. =_=
Anyways la.
My point is, HERE you won't get SUCH THINGS. And I miss it!!!!! T_T

Just as I miss the food, I also miss the kawaii stupidities with stupid details & stupid lil' patterns. Aaaah. I also miss the cosmetics (with wonderful packaging designs btw) and the people.

My 1/4 is feeling very very confused and sad these days because it has talked to my 3/4 and now The Whole Me realizes that it belongs neither to Europe nor to Asia!

Really, what should I do? How to solve myself?!

Have you ever got such problems? O_o

P.S.: Heeey, Audrey! ^^ Thanks for reading my blog! ^^ I think it's kind of a crap, but thanks for thinking otherwise! :D

P.P.S.: I bought a hydro cream shimmery eyeshadow by Shiseido to mi madre! It cost me 920Sk, but waahh, it rocks ducks. :) I hope she's gonna like such a Xmas gift :)

Monday, December 11, 2006

The Winter's Self-Made Meme (Cuz There's Little To Write Today!)

FAV WINTER SONG: "Last Christmas" by Wham! I keep listening to it all day long, like 50 times a day and soon I'll be able to sing the lyrics even in coma. Hah!

FAV WINTER FOOD: "Loksha", a potato pancake, the best one is with fois gras & cabbage filling. Yummm. ^^

FAV WINTER DRINK: Black tea with honey. ^^

FAV WINTER ACTIVITY: Sleeping, I'm a bear in my heart. And I can't ski. Nor snowboard. Sigh.

FAV WINTER PIECE OF CLOTHING: I wish I had *that* Hilfiger coat! *That* would be my fav piece of clothing. *_* ^^'''

FAV WINTER COSMETICS: Super oily nurturing cream for super dry & sensitive skin.

FAV WINTER PLACE: Erm, can I say French Polynesia? XD Oh, okay....or...Bratislava! :) You have to see our Xmas markets to understand!

FAV COMPLAINT: "I hate winteeeeeeer!!!"

FAV THING AT WINTER: It comes spring after it. :P Seriously. :P

FAV WINTER-THEMED DRAMA: Winter Sonata!!!!!! *__*

FAV WINTER TIME: The Christmas Eve and the New Year's Eve, Oh well, I'm not a Christian, but I like it! :)


  • a good camera!!!!!
  • a coat? or nope?

FAV WINTER ANIMAL: Elk & reindeer!!!!!! :D

FSV THING TO DO *RIGHT NOW*: Finish "Last Christmas" and then go to bed. Lazy to continue with this stupid meme liao.....and it's 11.30pm liao!!! Must go sleep. :)

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Sunday, Spa & Two Essays To Write

I apoopologize for my oh-fuck-this-fucking-life entry from Friday (or Saturday? Dunno~)...I'm feeling more relaxed now...well, who wouldn't, right, after the thermal water Mirror Pool (as it's called) and the following aromatherapeutic massage; right? :)
Oh, and baibee....thanks for your support. ^___^ AI LAAV JUU!!!! *HUGZZZ*

I aim to watch Titanic tonight at 8.05pm but sadly, I still have to edit my presentation for the Society Studies and I still have to write two essays for the TOEFL prep course. Sigh sigh. Well, maybe there are more things to do; it's only that I haven't checked out my notes yet!


And if I get to KL....then....I dunno. O_O *empty blissful stare*
I think I'm gonna bursts into tears or just simply faint and after I get my consciousness back, I'l probably stand up & French kiss EVERYONE, including that dickhead Ivor, including UJ who's gonna faint then, including S what's gonna kill me and including Haku what's gonna be veeery yucky.
Hahahaha!!!!! :D

Know what ar, I think I damn fucking much deserve KL.

After all these shitty (when it comes to school itself) grammar school years, I think I damn fucking much derserve getting into a good & prestigious uni overseas in a country I totally like! You also agree with me, don't you? :P
Me needs LIFE WITHOUT MATHS. FULL OF ART. FULL OF ASIAN FOOD. FULL OF HOT WEATHER. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm~~~~~ *orgasmic sigh*

Oooh... on Friday I fell in love with FIVE guys at once!!! *_* :D XD

There's a street in BA leading to the Castle and there's this cozy, beautiful lounge bar where we (UJ, me & our two friends from 2B grade) went for the first time.

It was a nice, chilly evening and so we had ordered some tea (UJ had hot choc) and there we were sitting, chatting & sipping it slowly...

And then the first HOTTIE appeared.
Me & my 2B friend's eyes popped out and there we were staring at *him* breathlessly: Dark hair, tanned skin, dark eyes, dark blue V neck jumper, white polo t-shirt under it, jeans.....YUMMY.

We thought nothing can beat such a guy when TWO HOTTIES entered.

One, also dark-haired, tall, with broad shoulders in a stripey blue-white jumper in a long black coat...the other, dark blonde (or so) almost equally hot.


And THEN...!!!!!!!

Other TWO HOTTEST HOTTIES EVER entered and proceeded to the table of these two hotties. Friend reunion apparently.
These two were too much for my weak heart; I almost died on the spot seeing them. :P
One of them was tall, broad shoulders, perfect skin, black short hair, black framed glasses (possessing that architectural look; know what I mean?)

(This is what I mean - these are the "arch style glasses" which Sung Si Kyung is wearing *ooooh, sooo adorableeeeeee wheeeee*)
Aaaahhh. *_*
When I saw him, my heart jumped 50kms up & down and I totally died!!!! :D

The other hottest hottie was wearing an orange casual t-shirt & whatever...he had glasses.....and he SO REMINDED ME OF S. *_* Maybe it even was S, I can't know... *sigh* I wish I knew who he was, he was really adorable....and S-like. :) ^___^

Oh, have I been lamenting here that "I AM OVER S"??? Well, let me rephrase that... I'm NOT over S....or over the image of him. :P

Haha!!! Know what ah! UJ actually MINDS when I swoon over some guys!!!! *dies giggling* That boy either loves me or doesn't love me and thinks he owns me. WTD hahaha. :D


I'm reading this kool blog; Chansaire; Pet Shop Girl! Check it out! ^_^

This PC is so slow, I have no nerves for it anymore...byebye! ^^

I wonder whether to cry or laugh at my pathetic self. =_= :P

Saturday, December 09, 2006


When they push, when they pull, tell me, can you hold on?
When they say you should change, can you lift your head high and stay strong?
Will you give up, give in, when your heart's crying out that it's wrong?
Will you love you for you at the end of it all?

In life, there's gonna be times when you're feeling low
And in your mind, insecurities seems to take control
We start to look outside ourselves for acceptance and approval
We keep forgetting that the one thing we should know is


Don't be scared to fly alone, find a path that is your own
Love will open every door it's in your hands, the world is yours
Don't hold back and always know all the answers will unfold
What are you waiting for, spread your wings and soar

The boy who wonders is he good enough for them
Keeps tryin' to please 'em all but he just never seems to fit in
Then there's the girl who thinks she'll never ever be good enough for him
Keeps tryin' to change and that's a game she'll never win

Now, in life, there's gonna be times when you're feeling low
And in your mind, insecurities seem to take control
We start to look outside ourselves for acceptance and approval
We keep forgetting that the one thing we should know is


In the mirror is where she comes face to face with her fears
Her own reflection now foreign to her after all these years
All of her life she has tried to be something besides herself
Now, time has passed and she's ended up someone else with regret
What is it in us that makes us feel the need to keep pretending?
Gotta let ourselves be

[CHORUS (2x)]


So, what're you waiting for?

That was Christina Aguilera's "Soar" from her "Stripped" album.
OMD. That sng's giving me so much strenght in these fucked up scholar times!!!! *_*


Don't be scared to fly alone, find a path that is your own
Love will open every door it's in your hands, the world is yours
Don't hold back and always know all the answers will unfold
What are you waiting for, spread your wings and soar lalalaaaaaa.....

Please, someone kill me.
Yesterday we wrote that test and Ivor asked me to turn over the paper with people's already finished tests of the group A (I was B) and stupid bitch me did so AND the professor saw me and started to yell at me like fuck and that dickhead Ivor was just LOOKING, BEING QUIET AND SAYING NOTHING FOR MY DEFENCE! And! After she ended her yelling speech, he tapped my shoulder and said "Sorry".

If it was the other way round, I'd say that it was all cuz of me. Fucked up asshole Ivor, go lick your stinky balls you goddamned fucker.
The best thing is, my father when to the school to that prof the other day cuz I'm failing Maths & he wanted to discuss whatever - and few days after that THIS HAPPENED TO ME AND NOW I LOOK LIKE A COMPLETE BITCH IN FRONT OF EVERYONE.


Now my mother came here, told me to pack my Maths notebook and when I told her that I have forgotten in at school, SHE STARTED YELLING ME THAT EVERYTHING I DO, IS WRONG!!!!!!!!

Please, lemme die, lemme just die, I can't fucking tahan this treatment, this attitude, this school, this life, these fucking society rules, this fucking cage I am in, I DON'T WANT TO LIVE LIKE THIS ANYFUCKINGMORE!!!!!!!

Off to that fucked up PN I go.
Byebye. I hope some truck's gonna run over me accidentally or I'm gonna jump under it!

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

2/5 Survived

3 more days to go! One concert tomorrow with the sadly un-talented Slovak singers. Heheh. One Maths test as well. Ughhhh. I still haven't revised anything, but it's not like I had any energy to do so....but I reaaly, really really should. Sigh. -_-

Just today I was talking with Ali on the fact that the way the society is determines our lifes too..well, more or less. We've agreed that people in SVK are seriously ignorant, not self-confident at all and always ready to lick asses (in the meaning of being fake & oh-so-empathetic just so they can get what they want once the person starts to like 'em).

Our school has changed into an institution where's you're virtually NOBODY if you don't wear at least Hilfiger. Or D & G. Or Versace? Oh, maybe Cavalli would do too. *shrugs*
Ain't that sickening?
OMD, when I'm a mother one day, I swear I won't buy any Versace to my spoiled, naughty adolescent kid. My duckness. VERSACE!

UJ's sickening me cuz he wears Hilfiger here & there all the time but his parents don't. Their clothes are like half cheaper than his but they buy him all these Hilfigers cuz....ehm, I dunno the reason actually. Too much love maybe. But he's so spoiled already! @_#
Please, girls in 2B grade, I know half of you has a secret crush on him, but REALLY - WAKE UP. He wouldn't be a good boyfriend for you. Trust me, if you've got brain, you'd kick his Hilfiger-clothed-ass in a week. ;)

It's also sickening me, how Kucci envies my 4000Skk worth of aliments each month. Yup, I've got 4000Skk/month but do I have a normal, complete family? No, I DON'T!!!!

Okay, what sickens me the most - on my sickening list - is that my life consists of two things:

  • MATHS TUTORING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


C'mon, you've guessed it liao.


There were times when I was in PN literally every weekend. That was especially 2 yrs ago when I was struggling with Physics, Chemistry & Maths. Now I'm struggling just with Maths, but cuz I have no one to help me at the tests, I'm failing. HOLY FUCKING SHIT, I CANNOT TAHAN THIS!!!!

Sometimes I wonder how could I survive the time of two years ago.

My mother was a really bad alcohol addict. Thus, I was crying every night.
I was constantly sleep-deprived. 3~4 hours of sleep/night? Oh, my routine.
Tests? I missed out on a lot of them before, so I was writing them on other dates. TWO, THREE TESTS A DAY? OH, another routine.
Every weekend in PN full of Maths, Physics & Chemistry and NO RESULT at the test?! Yes, I know how it feels.

I was at the verge of tears every damn fucking Friday when I was yet again off to PN. Even now I am whenever I have to go there again for the tuition.


The only good thing at it are my classmates which are lovely, sweet people whom I really really like. But otherways? FUCK. IT. ALL.

Enough rants for today.


God, if You exist, then I wanna slap you. =_=

Listening to: "Babo" by TVXQ
Yay!: Erm...maybe we're off to Cape Verde Islands for Xmas & New Year! ^_^
Grrrr: Read this entry, OK.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Damn Busy Next Week

I'm back from yet another 46453478754257800853268th Maths tuition in PN.
Grrr, I'm seriously TIRED OF THIS LIFE. And I'll be more! See my next week:


8.00 ~ 12.35 School
13.30 ~ 15. 30 Geography Seminar
16.30 ~ 18.30 Art course


8.00 ~ 12.35 School
13.30 ~ 15.30 History of Art Seminar
17.15 ~ 19.15 TOEFL prep course


8.00 ~ 13.30 School
After 13.30 walk with Haku
16.00 ~ 19.00 Part time job (selling ethno stuff at Xmas market)


9.50 ~ 12.35 School
After 12.35 walk with Haku
Maybe Maths tuition afterwards
17.15 ~ 19.15 TOEFL prep course


8.00 ~ 9.40 Society Studies seminar
9.50 ~ 14.25 School (MATHS TEST!!!!!)
16.00 ~ 19.00 Part time job

I think I must go to bed now so I can handle at least tomorrow if not the rest of the week...for I think I'll just die. =_=

Listening to: "My Life" by Mary J. Blige
Yay!: Ehm...dunno. The money I get? It's too little anyways, =_= 60Skk/hour, WTF!!!!! The hostessing job is better, there I get 100Skk/hour. YUMMY! ^^
Grrr: THIS LIFE!!!! I CANNOT TAHAN IT ANYMORE!!!!!!!! *bangs head & throws chairs around*

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Let Me Breath

It's been a bad day
Let me rest now
Leave me alone
Let me breath
Leave me with myself

Life's such a bitch
And so are us within it
I can't breath anymore

Where's the joy
Where's the love
Where's the harmony
I ask myself
As I come home late
Exhausted and lonely

Where's the hug
Where's the tranquility
When for being human
We lack the ability

What right do you have
To attack me?!
Look at yourself, you loser
You're no better than me
No man
Shut the fuck up & go away

I have no time for you
Telling me I'm
Must be such a great ego boost
I used to like you, 'friend'
Bye, until you grow up!

Let me breath
Take me to wherever I could
Gain the courage to live
Learn to love again
Stand up & smile

Stereotypic life
Grey, sad & troublesome
Let the golden sunshine
Pierce my grey heart
Hug me, Happiness
See my standing here alone?

Let me dream
Then pursue it
Let me run through the rainbow
With a smile on my face

Let me breath
The Life
Let me breath
Careless & free

Let me breath
Confident & successful
Let me breath
Let me breath
For now I can't