"No Time For Love"
Fine.
There's FINALLY/SADLY/LUCKILY nothing else for me to contemplate about because one episode of my drama of life has just ended.
It was bitter like a lemon fernet for me and I'm still swallowing it, but c'est la vie.....
Now.
To the point:
DOGGY: "How was your badminton? What, ain't the Prague option interesting for you?"
ME: "Not NOW, after the grad maybe...I'm in PN now....but then, I'll come...for 85%! "Life is about changes" as the Heracleitos from Efez has said!"
DOGGY: "I know. Is it there where those vinyls are? I won't be here (in SK) right after your grad but I'll surely come back later. And if I'm right, it's as the Epicuros has said: 'Foreigner, here you will feel good, here the pleasure is the biggest contentment.'"
ME: "Anyways, now I'm in PN and it's fine here; fresh strawberries in the garden, badminton, food, relax, music...aaaahh. :)"
DOGGY: "And what about the lovers? And the beer? I was kinda thinking when you were talking about that your ex....you're still waiting for your prince, aren't you?"
ME: "Hahaaa, today one guy that was dropping the flyers almost dropped off his bike when he saw me in a short skirt! :P And yes, I am waiting....and with my requirements I think I will, for a long time... =_="
DOGGY: "Don't you worry, those that would like to please you (physically, he meant), they are in heaps! You're just SMSing with one I guess.... But if you're waiting for your prince, it's not gonna be me. I don't have any time for love now."
ME: "Well, I could have LOTS of them last Friday at Dopler (SK version of the Zouk) but..no, thanks...I'm not in for shallow relationships. Is love for tennis enough to you? ;)"
DOGGY: "It is. It's just that sometimes one needs to vent out the hormones. If you'd have a similar problem someday, I'll be glad to help...but now I'm off to sleep. Nites & sweet dreams. I'm going to dream and I think it'll be about making love with you."
ME: "Good night and I hope there's a tennis racquet lying by your side.. ;) Well, and if you were calling me to come to CZ just so you'd be able to shag me, then I definately won't come. Sweet tennis dreams!"
DOGGY: "Nah, just like, for a visit. It's not like I can call you for anything else anyways (he has a gf but he's planning to break up with her after the grad).. Well, nitez and sweet dreams about the Miletian school." <--- I was studying the Philosophy, hence all these Philo jokes & references :)
ME: "Well, that's another speech now! I shall see. Take care!"
Wow, so kool, I've always wanted to be the one the guys wanna shag. =_=''''
Well.....no comment.
GUY READERS OF MY BLOG, PLEASE, TELL ME THAT YOU *DON'T* WANNA SHAG ME AS WELL!!!!!!!!!!!! @_#
My feminine dignity and pride is shattered. Gosh, if ALL GUYS are like this, I'll be a lesbian. =_= :P
Showing posts with label Duck Off. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Duck Off. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Like, duh.
Doggy was online yesterday and he hadn't replied to neither of my messages. Like, duh. This is how I ruin my illusions and the sprouting relationships of any sort! It seems like I'm an expert to this....maybe all I need is to THINK before ACTING. Or maybe I just need to be attracted towards a different sort of people. =_=
Am I disappointed, you ask?
Well, I don't know. Right now I'm not, but once I see him again, I'll so be....
C'est la vie. As they say, life is a bitch. Uh, that means I'm life or something? :P -_-
Shame, shame, shame.
Well, Ducky Princess, next time think twice before you do something impulsively. -_-
On another note, I've written the condolence card for Pom and the good-mood-card for ducky sis today and I'll send them out ASAP, that means, Monday.
See? Life IS a bitch.
Pom's mom passed away and ducky sis might have been diagnosed with an awful "T" word which-must-not-be-said.
Erm, and have you seen my Year of the Pig all year horoscope? I'm Snake & this is what Yahoo! Astrology says:
Snake Overview
Actually, 37% makes things look better than they are. This could be a very trying year indeed, as you and the Pig are on different wavelengths. To top it off, several unlucky stars have your number this year.
Snake Rating
37% (1 favorable, 2 neutral and 9 unfavorable months)
Snake Career
Here is one area where results might be satisfactory. You're not likely to win that big promotion, but you can make steady progress. Just do what you do and hope for the best.
Snake Relationships
This is not a good year for marriage, for finding the love of your life, or even for taking an existing relationship to the next level. The Pig stirs up everything sensual about you, but if that leads to an impetuous decision, the results could be disastrous. <--- BEEN THERE, DONE THAT!!!! ARGH!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!
Snake Health
Frustration over a series of setbacks could increase your stress level to a point where you might need to consult a health-care practitioner. <--- I'm booking the nearest madhouse already, they're right.
Snake Wealth
You are susceptible to at least one significant loss this year.
Fuckin' awesome. =_=
Do I believe in it? Well, kind of. Fuck. How kool, this year is the BREAKTHROUGH year with my grad, TOEFL, laser operation of eyes, the uni exams and maybe even the changing of the country! FUCK IT AH! I hope this forecast *IS* wrong, or else..... @_@
The only positive thing is maybe my playing around with AP. Here's the awesomely gila result. Nothing fascinating but I'm proud anyways. Heh.
OK. I'm tired, it's 2am. =_=
I AM TIRED OF THIS LIFE.
And I so hate myself. Doggy??? FORGET HIM, YOU BITCH. Ah, sigh. :(
Doggy was online yesterday and he hadn't replied to neither of my messages. Like, duh. This is how I ruin my illusions and the sprouting relationships of any sort! It seems like I'm an expert to this....maybe all I need is to THINK before ACTING. Or maybe I just need to be attracted towards a different sort of people. =_=
Am I disappointed, you ask?
Well, I don't know. Right now I'm not, but once I see him again, I'll so be....
C'est la vie. As they say, life is a bitch. Uh, that means I'm life or something? :P -_-
Shame, shame, shame.
Well, Ducky Princess, next time think twice before you do something impulsively. -_-
On another note, I've written the condolence card for Pom and the good-mood-card for ducky sis today and I'll send them out ASAP, that means, Monday.
See? Life IS a bitch.
Pom's mom passed away and ducky sis might have been diagnosed with an awful "T" word which-must-not-be-said.
Erm, and have you seen my Year of the Pig all year horoscope? I'm Snake & this is what Yahoo! Astrology says:
Snake Overview
Actually, 37% makes things look better than they are. This could be a very trying year indeed, as you and the Pig are on different wavelengths. To top it off, several unlucky stars have your number this year.
Snake Rating
37% (1 favorable, 2 neutral and 9 unfavorable months)
Snake Career
Here is one area where results might be satisfactory. You're not likely to win that big promotion, but you can make steady progress. Just do what you do and hope for the best.
Snake Relationships
This is not a good year for marriage, for finding the love of your life, or even for taking an existing relationship to the next level. The Pig stirs up everything sensual about you, but if that leads to an impetuous decision, the results could be disastrous. <--- BEEN THERE, DONE THAT!!!! ARGH!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!
Snake Health
Frustration over a series of setbacks could increase your stress level to a point where you might need to consult a health-care practitioner. <--- I'm booking the nearest madhouse already, they're right.
Snake Wealth
You are susceptible to at least one significant loss this year.
Fuckin' awesome. =_=
Do I believe in it? Well, kind of. Fuck. How kool, this year is the BREAKTHROUGH year with my grad, TOEFL, laser operation of eyes, the uni exams and maybe even the changing of the country! FUCK IT AH! I hope this forecast *IS* wrong, or else..... @_@
The only positive thing is maybe my playing around with AP. Here's the awesomely gila result. Nothing fascinating but I'm proud anyways. Heh.
OK. I'm tired, it's 2am. =_=
I AM TIRED OF THIS LIFE.
And I so hate myself. Doggy??? FORGET HIM, YOU BITCH. Ah, sigh. :(
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Ducking Accurate
Just like PotatomusMaximus did, I had done it too & I took the Colorgenics test.
You are trying to establish yourself and make an impact despite the fact that everything around you seems to be against you - putting up barriers, but don't be unduly concerned: you have the right ideas and come what may, they will soon be manifested and appreciated.
Always anxious to accept the role of the leader, as indeed you often work well with people - but try to stay out of the limelight. You'd like a life of ease with no one to rock the boat and someone who understands you is so important in your life.
Being a very proud individual, you tend to hold yourself aloof pretending that you are stoical - indifferent to pain and pleasure. This is not so, for in truth you are an extremely emotional individual, one that may make a hasty decision and perhaps regret it at leisure. It is time now to break the bond of detachment and be the 'you' that you would like to be - give vent to your emotions and enjoy yourself.
Setback after setback has resulted in considerable stress and now you have got to the stage where you are continuously on your guard, not only to protect yourself from others but to protect yourself from yourself. It would seem that many of your unfulfilled hopes and dreams have led to uncertainty and suspicion. You no longer wish to answer to others and you are insisting on freedom of thought. You feel that you are fully self-sufficient and can control your own destiny. You are seeking ways to protect yourself from further loss of prestige and against further setbacks. You have become very dependent and you doubt that matters could possibly get any better in the immediate future and this negative attitude is leading you to exaggerate your claims and to refuse reasonable compromise.
You are trying to build up your own position and you resist all external influences. You insist that you are your own person and you will not tolerate any outside interference. Decisive and proud, you are true managerial material.
This is so ducking accurate, I can't even believe it. O_o
And I just did something stupid & I'm regretting it. Oh, I'm such a fuck.
Few days ago I msged Doggy. He didn't reply despite being online. Sure, my ego was hurt. So today I msged him something about yesterday when I might had seen him (dunno, it was dark) coming home when I was out with Haku and then I added:
"There's no place for paranoias of your choice, even though you seem to have an affection towards them...it's a nice place for walks with a dog! :)"
HOW MORE PATHETIC CAN I GET?!
I hate myself, I'm such an annoying bitch and I *know* he thinks so too. *sigh*
We know each other maybe for a week or so? Yet, I dunno what I want. I'm annoying & stuid, thankyouverymuch, I know it & I feel like kicking my own ass for that. =_= @_@
Okay, so this match is lost for me.
Good luck to DD with her new bf who endlessly loves her and she didn't have to move a finger for getting him...it just happened.
I'm off with Haku now.....and not *there*. KL, where are you? I need you! New life, new problems!
Just like PotatomusMaximus did, I had done it too & I took the Colorgenics test.
You are trying to establish yourself and make an impact despite the fact that everything around you seems to be against you - putting up barriers, but don't be unduly concerned: you have the right ideas and come what may, they will soon be manifested and appreciated.
Always anxious to accept the role of the leader, as indeed you often work well with people - but try to stay out of the limelight. You'd like a life of ease with no one to rock the boat and someone who understands you is so important in your life.
Being a very proud individual, you tend to hold yourself aloof pretending that you are stoical - indifferent to pain and pleasure. This is not so, for in truth you are an extremely emotional individual, one that may make a hasty decision and perhaps regret it at leisure. It is time now to break the bond of detachment and be the 'you' that you would like to be - give vent to your emotions and enjoy yourself.
Setback after setback has resulted in considerable stress and now you have got to the stage where you are continuously on your guard, not only to protect yourself from others but to protect yourself from yourself. It would seem that many of your unfulfilled hopes and dreams have led to uncertainty and suspicion. You no longer wish to answer to others and you are insisting on freedom of thought. You feel that you are fully self-sufficient and can control your own destiny. You are seeking ways to protect yourself from further loss of prestige and against further setbacks. You have become very dependent and you doubt that matters could possibly get any better in the immediate future and this negative attitude is leading you to exaggerate your claims and to refuse reasonable compromise.
You are trying to build up your own position and you resist all external influences. You insist that you are your own person and you will not tolerate any outside interference. Decisive and proud, you are true managerial material.
This is so ducking accurate, I can't even believe it. O_o
And I just did something stupid & I'm regretting it. Oh, I'm such a fuck.
Few days ago I msged Doggy. He didn't reply despite being online. Sure, my ego was hurt. So today I msged him something about yesterday when I might had seen him (dunno, it was dark) coming home when I was out with Haku and then I added:
"There's no place for paranoias of your choice, even though you seem to have an affection towards them...it's a nice place for walks with a dog! :)"
HOW MORE PATHETIC CAN I GET?!
I hate myself, I'm such an annoying bitch and I *know* he thinks so too. *sigh*
We know each other maybe for a week or so? Yet, I dunno what I want. I'm annoying & stuid, thankyouverymuch, I know it & I feel like kicking my own ass for that. =_= @_@
Okay, so this match is lost for me.
Good luck to DD with her new bf who endlessly loves her and she didn't have to move a finger for getting him...it just happened.
I'm off with Haku now.....and not *there*. KL, where are you? I need you! New life, new problems!
Sunday, March 04, 2007
An Ode To Holidays
SPRING HOLIDAYS.
Here.
*Me* have.
Finally!!!!!! *_*
9 days of FREEDOM. Well, a relative one, I must study for two fucking tests, make one Immanuel Kant assignment and paint, paint, paint...
Today I woke up around 9am but then I've realized - and couldn't believe my sheer luck - that I have HOLIDAYS. No school. No stress. No hatred. No fake assholes. No fucking profs. No tests. No shallow topics being discussed.
P. E. A. C. E.
I still can't believe it. *_*
Naturally, normal people don't wake up at 9am (and on Saturdays somemore, OMP) so I hugged Leif (that's my plushy elk hahah...probably my only love here in SVK after Kucci and Haku) tightly, put my nose under the blanket and slept until 12.30pm. Muahahaha.
Holidays.
I've never felt so much relief and shock after realizing that I have holidays.
Holidays?
Holi days??
HOLY DAYS???
Indeed they are HOLY....... Please, don't disturb this religious fiesta of mine. I don't believe in God, I believe in HOLY DAYS. ^___^
I'll try some loving religious poetry.
An Ode To Holidays
Oh, holy holidays
You free time of mine
I can't let you end your time
Stay
Oh, holy Holy Days
I sacrificed my all for you
Now you're here
Stay
Oh, holy holidays,
You bring me peace & joy
The anger & hatred walks away
Oh, Holy Days, STAY!
That was sooooo from my stressed out, empty heart. *_* I sill feel hatred & anger though, I can't take my mind off everything that's troubling me.... I need time, apparently.
I'll recover hopefully just when will my be Holy Days ending. And I'll jump into this nasty academic shitty hole all over again.
I don't even wanna think about it. @_@
My biggest trouble among all is the MATHS.
Please, PLEASE, God, IF YOU HAPPEN TO EXIST, DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT FUCKING MATHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I *SERIOUSLY* cannot tahan it anymore. I. JUST. CANNOT.
I didn't need it, I don't need it, I will NEVER EVER IN MY WHOLE FUCKING LIFE need it!!!!!!! Yet I have to study for it & be tutored ALL THE FUCKING TIME while I wanna concentrate on more important things, for example, MY THREE PORTFOLIOS, right?!
AAAARGGGHHH FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.
I know I'm vulgar. So what?!
I need something that will spice up my life but in a GOOD, I repeat, GOOD way. Something interesting, something intriguing & new, that will consume some part of my empty brain so I'll have some topic to think about.
I don't want to think about GUYS though, cuz that's so superficial.
No, in fact, I'd like to get some boost in the area of art..... I need some fresh air, some new inspiration.....something that will keep me going on with my portfolio building, something that will make me think deep...something fresh & fascinating.
Got any idea?????
I don't. -_-
A long time ago I wanted to start the Bollywood Dance cuz that seemed so new, fresh, funny & fascinating to me, something different & inspirational.....but HA!
As if *that* was here. Tsk.
Maybe some Asian cooking lessons would be fun too, but HA! As if *that* was here!!!
*sigh*
I'm tired of this country liao. -_-
I need a change, I need a fresh air.
Or maybe I'd cheer up, if S hugged me?
HAHAHAHAAA, I might as well leave for Singapore and stay there. :D ^___^
This entry is dragging on endlessly. I feel like quacking & quacking & quacking on and on until the wee hours, but I know that it'd bore my few readers to death. Right? :)
In any case, I NEED TO BREATH A FRESH AIR. Hm.
SPRING HOLIDAYS.
Here.
*Me* have.
Finally!!!!!! *_*
9 days of FREEDOM. Well, a relative one, I must study for two fucking tests, make one Immanuel Kant assignment and paint, paint, paint...
Today I woke up around 9am but then I've realized - and couldn't believe my sheer luck - that I have HOLIDAYS. No school. No stress. No hatred. No fake assholes. No fucking profs. No tests. No shallow topics being discussed.
P. E. A. C. E.
I still can't believe it. *_*
Naturally, normal people don't wake up at 9am (and on Saturdays somemore, OMP) so I hugged Leif (that's my plushy elk hahah...probably my only love here in SVK after Kucci and Haku) tightly, put my nose under the blanket and slept until 12.30pm. Muahahaha.
Holidays.
I've never felt so much relief and shock after realizing that I have holidays.
Holidays?
Holi days??
HOLY DAYS???
Indeed they are HOLY....... Please, don't disturb this religious fiesta of mine. I don't believe in God, I believe in HOLY DAYS. ^___^
I'll try some loving religious poetry.
An Ode To Holidays
Oh, holy holidays
You free time of mine
I can't let you end your time
Stay
Oh, holy Holy Days
I sacrificed my all for you
Now you're here
Stay
Oh, holy holidays,
You bring me peace & joy
The anger & hatred walks away
Oh, Holy Days, STAY!
That was sooooo from my stressed out, empty heart. *_* I sill feel hatred & anger though, I can't take my mind off everything that's troubling me.... I need time, apparently.
I'll recover hopefully just when will my be Holy Days ending. And I'll jump into this nasty academic shitty hole all over again.
I don't even wanna think about it. @_@
My biggest trouble among all is the MATHS.
Please, PLEASE, God, IF YOU HAPPEN TO EXIST, DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT FUCKING MATHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I *SERIOUSLY* cannot tahan it anymore. I. JUST. CANNOT.
I didn't need it, I don't need it, I will NEVER EVER IN MY WHOLE FUCKING LIFE need it!!!!!!! Yet I have to study for it & be tutored ALL THE FUCKING TIME while I wanna concentrate on more important things, for example, MY THREE PORTFOLIOS, right?!
AAAARGGGHHH FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.
I know I'm vulgar. So what?!
I need something that will spice up my life but in a GOOD, I repeat, GOOD way. Something interesting, something intriguing & new, that will consume some part of my empty brain so I'll have some topic to think about.
I don't want to think about GUYS though, cuz that's so superficial.
No, in fact, I'd like to get some boost in the area of art..... I need some fresh air, some new inspiration.....something that will keep me going on with my portfolio building, something that will make me think deep...something fresh & fascinating.
Got any idea?????
I don't. -_-
A long time ago I wanted to start the Bollywood Dance cuz that seemed so new, fresh, funny & fascinating to me, something different & inspirational.....but HA!
As if *that* was here. Tsk.
Maybe some Asian cooking lessons would be fun too, but HA! As if *that* was here!!!
*sigh*
I'm tired of this country liao. -_-
I need a change, I need a fresh air.
Or maybe I'd cheer up, if S hugged me?
HAHAHAHAAA, I might as well leave for Singapore and stay there. :D ^___^
This entry is dragging on endlessly. I feel like quacking & quacking & quacking on and on until the wee hours, but I know that it'd bore my few readers to death. Right? :)
In any case, I NEED TO BREATH A FRESH AIR. Hm.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
I'm Not A Sweet Duckling
Ha! As if *this* was a surprise or something! :D
Why am I mentioning this obvious fact?
It's because I've realized that when I come close to hating someone, it's SCARY. I'm as crude, rude & mean as Snape to Harry.....and currently, one dude is experiencing this.
It has started very innocently.
I've gotten to know him via DD. The dude (can I call him XY?) has fallen in love with DD. I have his ICQ so we were talking. Blahblahbla here, yadda-yadda there.
XY is too shy to confess to DD (I understand this cuz I couldn't confess to S for seven years; however, I was advising XY to confess to her ASAP so he won't find himself in the same situation as me) and we were talking about this.........gradually I've been getting to know him better and better and I've understood one crucial thing about him: HE IS AN IMMATURE KID WITH MORE INFERIORITY COMPLEXES THAN IS HEALTHY.
Just a note, *ahem*, I hate guys like these, since I was with my then-bf who had inferiority complexes too & he was trying to mask it by acting all macho while he didn't have the character of a gentleman! (WTP la, my next bf will be prince William..! *giggles stupidly*)
I digressed.
So. I was trying to accept & respect him the way he is, I really was. I was almost successful but then last Friday (Feb 23) came and that had spoiled it all. @_@
XY & XZ (XY's friend) have asked DD if she doesn't wanna hang out with them in the downtown. She went, but under the condition of me going too because she knew about XY's love for her and she was scared of her mere life. :P
So I went.
I was pretending to be interested in those two fuckers bravely....and I was zoning out.....and wishing I was wherever else....and then, at 9.30pm I have excused myself, saying, I have to go cuz I must take a walk with my dog. DD went to sleep here so she went with me.
During our lovely little chat these two dudes were asking me WHERE I live. I told them, unsuspecting the consequences.
30 minutes later when I was with DD, these two assholes rang her up. They asked where we are & where I live. DD wasn't able to tell them. After a while, they rang her up again. And AGAIN. And AGAIN. And AGAIN.
In total they rang her up for EIGHT times.
They said they're coming to see us at where I live and they even had the fucking guts to ask *ME* where exactly I live!!!!!
I forgot to say that I've sent XY an angry SMS saying, "NOBODY HAS INVITED YOU!!!!". Yet the XZ dude has asked me where I live. I told him to fuck off.
HOW can people be so fucking rude?!
And don't those two feel that I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT THEM???!!!
Aaaaaarrggghhh.
That was really a Hell Friday. *fumes*
Know what's the best?
Both XY & XZ have DD's pics in their cellphones (without DD knowing about it!) and among these pics there is one with DD's lips.
On that Friday DD was looking at that pic.
I fucking bet they're masturbating by it everyday. @_@ *shrugs*
Today I met with XY at the History of Art classes. Oh gosh. I just can't hide it how much I despise him, his skinny body, his no fashion taste, his annoying questions & his inferiority complexes. Him & his girl friend were bitching something about me very silently but..... *yawns & walks away*
I will never get, WHAT DD sees at him....she talks to him as if nothing happened! @_@
Pretty amazing, considering their chasing & masturbating tendencies!!!!!
Argh. I'd kick his grape-sized balls if he was worth such an activity.
*
I was in Aupark today & all those people were oh so funny to me. They're all so superficial!!!! @_@ :P
There were times when I felt all orgasmic seeing a Hilfiger logo but I see a big change (to the better) at me now. I suppose it has started BIG & DEFINITE after visiting VSVU and deciding on my unis in all details.....it's like, I have finally understood that being original my own self & NOT a copycat following the latest trends, COUNTS.
Congrats, Miss M. ^___^
*
Okay. It's 11.24pm, I'm tired and I'm going to remove my make-up, take a shower, wash the hair and GO TO BED. Tomorrow I'm skipping the students works' showcase Cerebrum and instead of that I am looking forward for a LOOOONG sleep, a walk with Haku, a visit to the framery (?) where I'm going with my aquarell and another thing and last but not least - my cousin has a concert at 5.30pm somewhere so I'm most probably going to check her out. :)
I'm VERY MUCH feeling like wearing no make-up tomorrow & going out in my PJs but I can't cuz it's too cold and who knows *when* will I meet T?! HA?!
Yeah, I'm an ah lian afterall!
Guys = *must look pretty*
WTP!!!! @_@ XD
Ha! As if *this* was a surprise or something! :D
Why am I mentioning this obvious fact?
It's because I've realized that when I come close to hating someone, it's SCARY. I'm as crude, rude & mean as Snape to Harry.....and currently, one dude is experiencing this.
It has started very innocently.
I've gotten to know him via DD. The dude (can I call him XY?) has fallen in love with DD. I have his ICQ so we were talking. Blahblahbla here, yadda-yadda there.
XY is too shy to confess to DD (I understand this cuz I couldn't confess to S for seven years; however, I was advising XY to confess to her ASAP so he won't find himself in the same situation as me) and we were talking about this.........gradually I've been getting to know him better and better and I've understood one crucial thing about him: HE IS AN IMMATURE KID WITH MORE INFERIORITY COMPLEXES THAN IS HEALTHY.
Just a note, *ahem*, I hate guys like these, since I was with my then-bf who had inferiority complexes too & he was trying to mask it by acting all macho while he didn't have the character of a gentleman! (WTP la, my next bf will be prince William..! *giggles stupidly*)
I digressed.
So. I was trying to accept & respect him the way he is, I really was. I was almost successful but then last Friday (Feb 23) came and that had spoiled it all. @_@
XY & XZ (XY's friend) have asked DD if she doesn't wanna hang out with them in the downtown. She went, but under the condition of me going too because she knew about XY's love for her and she was scared of her mere life. :P
So I went.
I was pretending to be interested in those two fuckers bravely....and I was zoning out.....and wishing I was wherever else....and then, at 9.30pm I have excused myself, saying, I have to go cuz I must take a walk with my dog. DD went to sleep here so she went with me.
During our lovely little chat these two dudes were asking me WHERE I live. I told them, unsuspecting the consequences.
30 minutes later when I was with DD, these two assholes rang her up. They asked where we are & where I live. DD wasn't able to tell them. After a while, they rang her up again. And AGAIN. And AGAIN. And AGAIN.
In total they rang her up for EIGHT times.
They said they're coming to see us at where I live and they even had the fucking guts to ask *ME* where exactly I live!!!!!
I forgot to say that I've sent XY an angry SMS saying, "NOBODY HAS INVITED YOU!!!!". Yet the XZ dude has asked me where I live. I told him to fuck off.
HOW can people be so fucking rude?!
And don't those two feel that I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT THEM???!!!
Aaaaaarrggghhh.
That was really a Hell Friday. *fumes*
Know what's the best?
Both XY & XZ have DD's pics in their cellphones (without DD knowing about it!) and among these pics there is one with DD's lips.
On that Friday DD was looking at that pic.
"Hey, this is me!"
Both XY & XZ pretending a surprise:
"REALLY?! O_o"
I fucking bet they're masturbating by it everyday. @_@ *shrugs*
Today I met with XY at the History of Art classes. Oh gosh. I just can't hide it how much I despise him, his skinny body, his no fashion taste, his annoying questions & his inferiority complexes. Him & his girl friend were bitching something about me very silently but..... *yawns & walks away*
I will never get, WHAT DD sees at him....she talks to him as if nothing happened! @_@
Pretty amazing, considering their chasing & masturbating tendencies!!!!!
Argh. I'd kick his grape-sized balls if he was worth such an activity.
*
I was in Aupark today & all those people were oh so funny to me. They're all so superficial!!!! @_@ :P
There were times when I felt all orgasmic seeing a Hilfiger logo but I see a big change (to the better) at me now. I suppose it has started BIG & DEFINITE after visiting VSVU and deciding on my unis in all details.....it's like, I have finally understood that being original my own self & NOT a copycat following the latest trends, COUNTS.
Congrats, Miss M. ^___^
*
Okay. It's 11.24pm, I'm tired and I'm going to remove my make-up, take a shower, wash the hair and GO TO BED. Tomorrow I'm skipping the students works' showcase Cerebrum and instead of that I am looking forward for a LOOOONG sleep, a walk with Haku, a visit to the framery (?) where I'm going with my aquarell and another thing and last but not least - my cousin has a concert at 5.30pm somewhere so I'm most probably going to check her out. :)
I'm VERY MUCH feeling like wearing no make-up tomorrow & going out in my PJs but I can't cuz it's too cold and who knows *when* will I meet T?! HA?!
Yeah, I'm an ah lian afterall!
Guys = *must look pretty*
WTP!!!! @_@ XD
Monday, February 19, 2007
Meow Meow
It's almost midnight & I still have to take a shower so I think I'll do this in the dry and boring bullet-point way. Sorry la!
- I keep thinking about S. AARRGGGHHHHHH. I want to forget him, but I CAN'T!!!!! @_@ The only solution for me is to leave this country and that's on what I'm working hard! ^^
- Haven't seen T for a while so my nasty plan of somehow inviting him for a tea can't work out! :P Good, at least I have enough time for gaining my missing courage.
- My friends said I look like a cat. Wahahaha!!!! MEOW MEOW!!!! :D
- Even after that tuition I got 3/16 points. I AM FUCKING GOING TO FUCKING BURN ALL MY FUCKING NOTEBOOKS & DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT THAT FUCKING MATHS ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHATEVER I DO ABOUT IT, I *ALWAYS* FAIL.
*throws things around* - GONG XI FA CAI!!!!!!!!!! ^___________^
- I hate my fucking school. SO MANY ASSIGNMENTS TO DO. Yesterday I went to bed past 1.30a, cuz I was working on the Southeast Asia presentation for Geo seominar which had to be *flawless* cuz the prof hates me more than Snape hates Harry Potter and I didn't want to give her the joy of telling me how shitty I am again.
And whoa, today I got to know that the Geo seminar was CANCELED. *fumes* - Tomorrow I'm presenting two assignments at the History of Art - Toulouse-Lautrec & Fauvism. ARGH.
- Friday - presentation of a book by Rudolf Sloboda called "Deep Peace". I must READ IT first though! ARGH!
- I have no contact lense solution anymore. I love my itchy eyes like hell.
- LIFE SUCKS, I WANNA HOLIDAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
About Me WITHOUT Me
I seriously hate it how scatterbrained, unfocused, messy, procrastinating & lazy I am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I must do something about this.
Whatever schedule I set up for myself, I almost never behave according to it. For example, I'm already telling myself since December that I have to register for TOEFL. Grrr!
*
I'm editing this few hours later (11pm) & I can't continue on that topic anymore.
I AM SO FUCKING ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My mother was again way tipsy, reeking of her fucking wine & being aggresive to whatever I said. Fucking bitch!
Tmr she's gonna meet that dude from Graphic Design at 10am at Steam & Coffee.
It's all gonna be about me. WHOLE the fucking thing.
AND I CAN'T GO THERE CUZ I MUST GO TO SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUCK THIS LIFE!!!!!!!!!
Who is she to tell me where to go & what to do?!
ARGH, I'm soooo waiting for my 18th bday to come. I'll finally be fucking independant (sadly, not really because I happened not to be born as prince William/Paris Hilton/Mary-Kate/Ashley Olsen)!!!
Cannot tahan this.
And she didn't even get it; she thought I want to manipulate that dude & everyone so we can meet up later on....even though I was saying that I wanna GO there at that 10am!!!!
And she yelled at me what I think about myself & that for further questions I should "contact the president's office".
KNN!!!!
I'm also a naive, infantile, irresponsible & dependant kid according to her.
AHEM.
Should I let her spend one day with UJ?! She'll think he's still just gonna be conceived!!!!! AAARGGGHHHHH. >_< @_@
I must calm myself down.
Must make myself smile.
Must forget my anger. I'm a very angry person by the way; I wasn't but since those years of my mother's alcoholism I had became a very cynical, angry, sarcastic asshole. Thank you, if you still like me.
I MUST CALM DOWN.
*fumes*
*searches for relaxing pictures*
Did it help?
Not much. =_=
*
I've decided on applying for THREE schools:
CENFAD (Kuala Lumpur)
LIMKOKWING (Cyberjaya)
LA SALLE-SIA (Singapore)
The La Salle enrolment policy is that I have to enclose the personal statement & various blahblahs about myself & my relevant successes, courses & exhibitions (I had one!) and that's gonna be fun creating.... ^^ I also - of course - have to create a portfolio consisting of 10 works relevant to the course I've chosen (Graphic Design).
The ducks at LKW don't require any portfolio when I'm applying for the Foundation in Design Innovation 1-year course to which I'll be applying as it's the pre-requisite for the BA Graphic Design course.
And the ducks at Cenfad want my portfolio consisiting of 4 artworks on the set themes.
All three schools want the TOEFL/IELTS so I'd better move my fat ass & get it done ASAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! @_#
I'll be sooooo busy.
14 PERFECT artworks to create (but really PERFECT!!!), graduate, get TOEFL.... OOOOHHH, ALMIGHTY DUCK, GIMME STRENGHT AND THE POWER NOT TO PROCRASTINATE!!!!!!! :D
I totally love drawing & painting now. ^^ At least that, otherways I wouldn't get anywhere...but art....mmmm... ^^ My art prof will help me with both portfolios, that's so kool. ^^
Midnight already. I am going to take a shower....then sleep...and SCHOOL AGAIN. Arrghh, how I hate this terroristic routine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!x_x *fumes*
I seriously hate it how scatterbrained, unfocused, messy, procrastinating & lazy I am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I must do something about this.
Whatever schedule I set up for myself, I almost never behave according to it. For example, I'm already telling myself since December that I have to register for TOEFL. Grrr!
*
I'm editing this few hours later (11pm) & I can't continue on that topic anymore.
I AM SO FUCKING ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My mother was again way tipsy, reeking of her fucking wine & being aggresive to whatever I said. Fucking bitch!
Tmr she's gonna meet that dude from Graphic Design at 10am at Steam & Coffee.
It's all gonna be about me. WHOLE the fucking thing.
AND I CAN'T GO THERE CUZ I MUST GO TO SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUCK THIS LIFE!!!!!!!!!
Who is she to tell me where to go & what to do?!
ARGH, I'm soooo waiting for my 18th bday to come. I'll finally be fucking independant (sadly, not really because I happened not to be born as prince William/Paris Hilton/Mary-Kate/Ashley Olsen)!!!
Cannot tahan this.
And she didn't even get it; she thought I want to manipulate that dude & everyone so we can meet up later on....even though I was saying that I wanna GO there at that 10am!!!!
And she yelled at me what I think about myself & that for further questions I should "contact the president's office".
KNN!!!!
I'm also a naive, infantile, irresponsible & dependant kid according to her.
AHEM.
Should I let her spend one day with UJ?! She'll think he's still just gonna be conceived!!!!! AAARGGGHHHHH. >_< @_@
I must calm myself down.
Must make myself smile.
Must forget my anger. I'm a very angry person by the way; I wasn't but since those years of my mother's alcoholism I had became a very cynical, angry, sarcastic asshole. Thank you, if you still like me.
I MUST CALM DOWN.
*fumes*
*searches for relaxing pictures*
Did it help?
Not much. =_=
*
I've decided on applying for THREE schools:
CENFAD (Kuala Lumpur)
LIMKOKWING (Cyberjaya)
LA SALLE-SIA (Singapore)
The La Salle enrolment policy is that I have to enclose the personal statement & various blahblahs about myself & my relevant successes, courses & exhibitions (I had one!) and that's gonna be fun creating.... ^^ I also - of course - have to create a portfolio consisting of 10 works relevant to the course I've chosen (Graphic Design).
The ducks at LKW don't require any portfolio when I'm applying for the Foundation in Design Innovation 1-year course to which I'll be applying as it's the pre-requisite for the BA Graphic Design course.
And the ducks at Cenfad want my portfolio consisiting of 4 artworks on the set themes.
All three schools want the TOEFL/IELTS so I'd better move my fat ass & get it done ASAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! @_#
I'll be sooooo busy.
14 PERFECT artworks to create (but really PERFECT!!!), graduate, get TOEFL.... OOOOHHH, ALMIGHTY DUCK, GIMME STRENGHT AND THE POWER NOT TO PROCRASTINATE!!!!!!! :D
I totally love drawing & painting now. ^^ At least that, otherways I wouldn't get anywhere...but art....mmmm... ^^ My art prof will help me with both portfolios, that's so kool. ^^
Midnight already. I am going to take a shower....then sleep...and SCHOOL AGAIN. Arrghh, how I hate this terroristic routine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!x_x *fumes*
Saturday, January 27, 2007
Fuck This
I'm going to embarrass myself on Monday. My "artworks" suck a big shit & I don't have a drop of a talent. Fuck this, I'm going to write a make-believe entry a la Justine's, maybe it'd cheer me up.
Farewell Graphic Design, come to me, Marketing. I hope we'll be good friends.
I'm going to embarrass myself on Monday. My "artworks" suck a big shit & I don't have a drop of a talent. Fuck this, I'm going to write a make-believe entry a la Justine's, maybe it'd cheer me up.
Farewell Graphic Design, come to me, Marketing. I hope we'll be good friends.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Apparently NOT Feeling Like Looking At Maths Which I'm Gonna Fail No Matter What I Do =_=
Long title, right?
Short post though. And VERY angry.
I HATE THIS!
I AM STRESSED OUT!
EVERYONE WANTS SOMETHING FROM ME!
AAARRGGGHHH, FUCK YOU ALL!!!
WHERE ARE ALL THOSE HUNKY ASIAN GUYS, WHEN YOU NEED ONE?!
{OK, I'm in Europe, I should move elsewhere, preferrably to Asia}
WHY IS MATHS *THAT* IMPORTANT FOR ME, AN ASPIRING GRAPHIC DESIGNER?!
FUCK YOU, SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I haven't seen S for few months already, yet I still think about him and feel the urge to mention him every 5 seconds. Someone, please kick my ass, so I'll shut up finally cuz I'm tiring myself with it already. @_@
Long title, right?
Short post though. And VERY angry.
I HATE THIS!
I AM STRESSED OUT!
EVERYONE WANTS SOMETHING FROM ME!
AAARRGGGHHH, FUCK YOU ALL!!!
WHERE ARE ALL THOSE HUNKY ASIAN GUYS, WHEN YOU NEED ONE?!
{OK, I'm in Europe, I should move elsewhere, preferrably to Asia}
WHY IS MATHS *THAT* IMPORTANT FOR ME, AN ASPIRING GRAPHIC DESIGNER?!
FUCK YOU, SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
***
UJ is a weirdo.
Me: *flips through his notebook with straight As noted down* "I haaaaaate people with straight As.....they're weird!!!! I'm not gonna talk to you anymore!"
(I don't hate them, but they ARE weird! It's not humanly possible to get straight As, at least not at my fucking school!)
UJ: "Jesus Christ....okay....I'm gonna write here some B!"
WTD!!!! :P
Me: *flips through his notebook with straight As noted down* "I haaaaaate people with straight As.....they're weird!!!! I'm not gonna talk to you anymore!"
(I don't hate them, but they ARE weird! It's not humanly possible to get straight As, at least not at my fucking school!)
UJ: "Jesus Christ....okay....I'm gonna write here some B!"
WTD!!!! :P
***
10.55pm.
Should I bother with that Maths, or not? O_o
Maybe just a bit, pro forma. That won't hurt me, although it's certainly gonna make me throw the Maths notebook outta the window.
This reminds me of - you know what am I gonna do after my graduation? ^_~
I AM GOING TO BURN ALL THE NOTEBOOKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RITUALLY!!!!! YEAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
Can't wait liao. *evil laughter*
Should I bother with that Maths, or not? O_o
Maybe just a bit, pro forma. That won't hurt me, although it's certainly gonna make me throw the Maths notebook outta the window.
This reminds me of - you know what am I gonna do after my graduation? ^_~
I AM GOING TO BURN ALL THE NOTEBOOKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RITUALLY!!!!! YEAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
Can't wait liao. *evil laughter*
***
I haven't seen S for few months already, yet I still think about him and feel the urge to mention him every 5 seconds. Someone, please kick my ass, so I'll shut up finally cuz I'm tiring myself with it already. @_@
13%. 13%. 13%.
Oh, if S knew how stupid am I. He'd laugh his ass off.
And I know I'm very vulgar, but I don't care. Blah. I'm gonna take care of myself & become ladylike when I'm outta this fucking school. Bleh.
Oh, if S knew how stupid am I. He'd laugh his ass off.
And I know I'm very vulgar, but I don't care. Blah. I'm gonna take care of myself & become ladylike when I'm outta this fucking school. Bleh.
Bleh
I have an awful headache, Ibalgin gulped down liao, itchy eyes, ecsema, & 13% from Maths. So yeah, I'm failing. Well, just a little detail, I have a TEST tomorrow and I was just desperately trying to practice those equations and sadly, it was worthless. A waste of time, really. =_=
Luckily, we can fail on the 1st semester....we just can't fail on the other semester with the graduation.
I've never failed anything (thanks to cheating, friend's help at the tests & endless hours of tuition) but IT'S TIME.
Sigh.
Also, I have the entrance exams to VSVU on January 29 and I still have to do around 20 artworks...now....how much do I have already? Like, ONE?! Fuck it!!! Yes, ONE!!!!
I wanted to draw that still life with giocondas today, but somehow, I can't.
In all my horoscopes I read: "Focus on your studies, forget guys, work on your future..." & yaddayadda and I'll tell ya, I'd really like to do that only if it wasn't SO MUCH AT ONE TIME!!!!
I'M GONNA GET MAD SOON!!!!!!
FUCK!
I love that insomnia too, yesterday I went to bed at midnight and fell asleep at 1.30am. Mmmm, I felt "SO FRESH" today......like a zombie, really. #_#
It's 10.35pm now.
What should I do? Try to study or go read some blogs & then go to bed?
I'll see. Hmmm.
Btw, sorry if I don't reply to your SMSes but I don't wanna have the billhigh like shit again, recently it was like 2500Skk and that's WAY too much!
I have an awful headache, Ibalgin gulped down liao, itchy eyes, ecsema, & 13% from Maths. So yeah, I'm failing. Well, just a little detail, I have a TEST tomorrow and I was just desperately trying to practice those equations and sadly, it was worthless. A waste of time, really. =_=
Luckily, we can fail on the 1st semester....we just can't fail on the other semester with the graduation.
I've never failed anything (thanks to cheating, friend's help at the tests & endless hours of tuition) but IT'S TIME.
Sigh.
Also, I have the entrance exams to VSVU on January 29 and I still have to do around 20 artworks...now....how much do I have already? Like, ONE?! Fuck it!!! Yes, ONE!!!!
I wanted to draw that still life with giocondas today, but somehow, I can't.
In all my horoscopes I read: "Focus on your studies, forget guys, work on your future..." & yaddayadda and I'll tell ya, I'd really like to do that only if it wasn't SO MUCH AT ONE TIME!!!!
I'M GONNA GET MAD SOON!!!!!!
FUCK!
I love that insomnia too, yesterday I went to bed at midnight and fell asleep at 1.30am. Mmmm, I felt "SO FRESH" today......like a zombie, really. #_#
It's 10.35pm now.
What should I do? Try to study or go read some blogs & then go to bed?
I'll see. Hmmm.
Btw, sorry if I don't reply to your SMSes but I don't wanna have the billhigh like shit again, recently it was like 2500Skk and that's WAY too much!
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Back From Egypt/Busy Life/Obligatory New Year's Resolutions
WHEEEEEEE!!!!!!
I AM BACK! ^_^
And once I find out how to resize the pics without Photoshop (which doesn't work & I can't neither reinstall it nor repair ir, WTP), I'll post some of them here, I promise! :)
Until then, please, survive just my quacking.
Few facts I've learnt about Egypt while I was there:
WHEEEEEEE!!!!!!
I AM BACK! ^_^
And once I find out how to resize the pics without Photoshop (which doesn't work & I can't neither reinstall it nor repair ir, WTP), I'll post some of them here, I promise! :)
Until then, please, survive just my quacking.
Few facts I've learnt about Egypt while I was there:
- The MEN are dick-using idiots annoying, bothering & verbally sexually harassing everyone & women the most, of course (even the veiled ones! WTP!!!!!).
"Hey, sweety!"
"U r very beautiful!"
"U have time? Just a second! One minute! One minute, please!"
"Hello! Where r u from? Slovakia? Ahoooj, si velmi krasna!"
...and etc... =_= - The RUSSIANS looooove NY's Eve in Egypt. There were like million of them at our hotel, and so, the 1st thing I heard few mins after midnight in the year 2007 was the Russian anthem which was sung by our lovely, drunk Russian guests. Hahaha, yes!!! XD
And the best thing was, after the 'celebration' at the hotel we went to our room...there my mother & grandma switched on the (Russian!) TV and so it happened that I've heard the Russian athem AGAIN that night.
And then?
VLADIMIR PUTIN'S NEW YEAR'S SPEECH TO THE NATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*dies* - I LOVE Arabic writing! *_* It's so beautiful, it has the same kind of beauty like, for example, Korean or Tamil. It's just..different. It seems like an art to me actually. :)
- I LOVE Islamic architecture. It's simply beautiful! ^^
- The Red Sea is wonderfully TURQUISE. Mmmm. I'll show you the pics once I somehow resize them. :P
- I CAN live without make-up but I CAN'T live without the books. Oh, seems like I'm not that big of an ah lian afterall. :P Good, good! :P
- I definately wanna LIVE in a warm country. Not in Egypt, of course (there not even burqa would spare me the annoying) but...ok...I'm annoying with this liao....in Singapore or Malaysia. :P ^^
- Cannot tahan life in such a dry, windy country. @_@ Even though it's PRETTY there.
- I HATE AzurReisen. I don't give a shit about how I'm gonna damage their name now or whatever - THEY SUCK A FUCKING BIG DEAL!!!!!! >_< After arrival on the Hurghada Intl. Airport we all got on a bus happily thinking that within an hour we surely will be lazying around in our rooms.
HA!
Actually we were cruising the tiny Hurghada for unbelievable 4,5 HOURS. That's longer than the flight itself which is 3,45h long!!! AAARGGH!!!!!
As if it wasn't enough, the departure flight was scheduled at Jan 3rd, 5.15am. We had to get up at 2am (no kidding) and be at the reception desk at 2.15am where the bus would come and take us to the airport.
So we all did as we were told, but....
...it was 3am and NOBODY COMING. So a friend called the fucking bitch rep (he called her! if he didn't, we would never know cuz she didn't give a damn!!!) and she said that OUR FLIGHT HAS BEEN DELAYED & SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHEN WILL WE FLY. So it could be anytime!
Later the friend called her again and got to know that the flight will be on Jan 4th, 5.15am again.
You can't imagine how tired am I after two almost sleepless nights! @_@
Fuck SkyEurope too, I love it when they play around with flights. Aaaargghh.
OK.
Aiyah, I was stupid not to take notepad & pen/pencil/giocondas to there...I was like, soooo bored there. =_= At least thank god for that cam cuz at least taking pics was consuming my time.
Well, now I have exactly 25 days for 20~30 paintings/drawings which are required for the VSVU entrance exams....omg...I must start to work but tha won't be *today* cuz my eyes are soo itchy...cannot tahan. -_-
Actually, I'll have a very VERY busy schedule now:
January: 20~30 paintings/drawings, VSVU entrance exams, get a new EU passport!!!!
February: TOEFL exam
March: study for maturita + draw/paint
April: study for maturita + draw/paint
May: MATURITA + draw/paint
June: portfolio for Cenfad + have the maturita report card translated into English & verified & blahblah
July: submit the application for Cenfad (or submit it when it has to be submitted; I dunno if there's a date for that)
.
.
.
September: if I get accepted, FLYYYYYYYYY to KL! ^_^
Today I read in the plane that FEAR STANDS BETWEEN OUR DREAMS. The article said that we must overcome our fears because our dreams are important...and if we fear something, it's a hindrance barring us from pursuing our dreams.
My case; I'm actually pretty scared of living totally on my own in KL - I'm scared I won't make it or something.....but I know that I must OVERCOME IT & GO FOR IT, cuz I know that *that* is wat I wanna..uni in KL.
Same with laser eye operation. I'm totally, horribly scared of it, but what else can I do, with -7 & -7,5 dioptries? -_- T_T
BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH, you all must be tired from my blahblahblahblahblahing already. *yawn*
Lemme finish with the obligatory New Year's Resolutions:
- I will DO MY BESTEST BEST to graduate & get into Cenfad!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- I will visit art exhibitions & generally WORK ON MYSELF
- I WILL BE MYSELF, however big pain in the ass will I be then (hahaha)
- I will go to bed BEFORE 11.45pm!!!!! <--- this will be hard....but I don't wanna have those eyebags anymore @_@
- I will try hard to have this room TIDY O_o
- I will take care of myself & be less influencable (?)!!!!!
Ha. That's it. ^^
I'll blog more when I recover from my post-flight weariness... *yawns*
PS.: ON THE LAST DAY A MALE CAT PEED AT ME!!!!!!!! WAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!! XD I HATE MALE CATS!!!!!!! THEM & THEIR STUPID TERRITORY MARKS!!!!! I SMELLED LIKE FUCK!!!!!!!! XD *eeewwww*
PPS: Thank you, MUNIE, BAIBEE & RAY for your Xmas cards & gifts! I love them all!!! ^___^
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Being Harry Potter II
Such a LOVELY day.
Got caught at Geo test with a cheatsheet - not just a regular cheatsheet buit with one with ANSWERS for the test we were just writing!!!!!!
The prof took my cheatsheet and in case she reads it, I'm in a fuckin deep shit.
My father got fired from his work cuz of ALCOHOL; I dunno WTF he had been doing the last Saturday, but after that he got fired with the words that he's fucking up the good name of the company he's working for.
Now he can't pay the Egypt vacation (Dec 28 ~ Jan 3), we have to take another person & grandma with invalid passport is going, but before she has to have her new EU passport issued.....complications, complications.....
The only good thing of today is, that UJ woke up & we have PEACE. Finally! In fact, just now we've had a nice, long chat about this shitty fucked up life. :)
Oh, and another good thing....I drew a good portrait at the art course, only it was a bit bigger, it wasn't exactly the 1:1 ratio; it had that "movement", what the impressionists were trying to catch, though.
OK.
It's almost 12.30am, off I go to wash my hair.....FUCK THIS LIFE.
I DON'T WANNA ATTRACT PROBLEMS ANYMORE!!!!! TT____TT
Such a LOVELY day.
Got caught at Geo test with a cheatsheet - not just a regular cheatsheet buit with one with ANSWERS for the test we were just writing!!!!!!
The prof took my cheatsheet and in case she reads it, I'm in a fuckin deep shit.
My father got fired from his work cuz of ALCOHOL; I dunno WTF he had been doing the last Saturday, but after that he got fired with the words that he's fucking up the good name of the company he's working for.
Now he can't pay the Egypt vacation (Dec 28 ~ Jan 3), we have to take another person & grandma with invalid passport is going, but before she has to have her new EU passport issued.....complications, complications.....
The only good thing of today is, that UJ woke up & we have PEACE. Finally! In fact, just now we've had a nice, long chat about this shitty fucked up life. :)
Oh, and another good thing....I drew a good portrait at the art course, only it was a bit bigger, it wasn't exactly the 1:1 ratio; it had that "movement", what the impressionists were trying to catch, though.
OK.
It's almost 12.30am, off I go to wash my hair.....FUCK THIS LIFE.
I DON'T WANNA ATTRACT PROBLEMS ANYMORE!!!!! TT____TT
Saturday, December 09, 2006
Soar
When they push, when they pull, tell me, can you hold on?
When they say you should change, can you lift your head high and stay strong?
Will you give up, give in, when your heart's crying out that it's wrong?
Will you love you for you at the end of it all?
In life, there's gonna be times when you're feeling low
And in your mind, insecurities seems to take control
We start to look outside ourselves for acceptance and approval
We keep forgetting that the one thing we should know is
[CHORUS:]
Don't be scared to fly alone, find a path that is your own
Love will open every door it's in your hands, the world is yours
Don't hold back and always know all the answers will unfold
What are you waiting for, spread your wings and soar
The boy who wonders is he good enough for them
Keeps tryin' to please 'em all but he just never seems to fit in
Then there's the girl who thinks she'll never ever be good enough for him
Keeps tryin' to change and that's a game she'll never win
Now, in life, there's gonna be times when you're feeling low
And in your mind, insecurities seem to take control
We start to look outside ourselves for acceptance and approval
We keep forgetting that the one thing we should know is
[CHORUS]
In the mirror is where she comes face to face with her fears
Her own reflection now foreign to her after all these years
All of her life she has tried to be something besides herself
Now, time has passed and she's ended up someone else with regret
What is it in us that makes us feel the need to keep pretending?
Gotta let ourselves be
[CHORUS (2x)]
[SPOKEN:]
So, what're you waiting for?
That was Christina Aguilera's "Soar" from her "Stripped" album.
OMD. That sng's giving me so much strenght in these fucked up scholar times!!!! *_*
*hums*
Don't be scared to fly alone, find a path that is your own
Love will open every door it's in your hands, the world is yours
Don't hold back and always know all the answers will unfold
What are you waiting for, spread your wings and soar lalalaaaaaa.....
I AM OFF TO PN YET AGAIN FOR THE MATHS TUTORING.
Please, someone kill me.
Yesterday we wrote that test and Ivor asked me to turn over the paper with people's already finished tests of the group A (I was B) and stupid bitch me did so AND the professor saw me and started to yell at me like fuck and that dickhead Ivor was just LOOKING, BEING QUIET AND SAYING NOTHING FOR MY DEFENCE! And! After she ended her yelling speech, he tapped my shoulder and said "Sorry".
I HATE PEOPLE WITH NO CHARACTER.
I HATE THAT FUCKING CHICKEN DICKHEAD.
NOW IT'S ME HAVING PROBLEMS AGAIN FOR SOMETHING I DID FOR THAT FUCKER WHO WASN'T BRAVE EVEN FOR SAYING THAT IT'S ALL HIS FUCKING FAULT!!!!!!
If it was the other way round, I'd say that it was all cuz of me. Fucked up asshole Ivor, go lick your stinky balls you goddamned fucker.
The best thing is, my father when to the school to that prof the other day cuz I'm failing Maths & he wanted to discuss whatever - and few days after that THIS HAPPENED TO ME AND NOW I LOOK LIKE A COMPLETE BITCH IN FRONT OF EVERYONE.
I HATE THIS LIFE.
Now my mother came here, told me to pack my Maths notebook and when I told her that I have forgotten in at school, SHE STARTED YELLING ME THAT EVERYTHING I DO, IS WRONG!!!!!!!!
Please, lemme die, lemme just die, I can't fucking tahan this treatment, this attitude, this school, this life, these fucking society rules, this fucking cage I am in, I DON'T WANT TO LIVE LIKE THIS ANYFUCKINGMORE!!!!!!!
Off to that fucked up PN I go.
Byebye. I hope some truck's gonna run over me accidentally or I'm gonna jump under it!
When they push, when they pull, tell me, can you hold on?
When they say you should change, can you lift your head high and stay strong?
Will you give up, give in, when your heart's crying out that it's wrong?
Will you love you for you at the end of it all?
In life, there's gonna be times when you're feeling low
And in your mind, insecurities seems to take control
We start to look outside ourselves for acceptance and approval
We keep forgetting that the one thing we should know is
[CHORUS:]
Don't be scared to fly alone, find a path that is your own
Love will open every door it's in your hands, the world is yours
Don't hold back and always know all the answers will unfold
What are you waiting for, spread your wings and soar
The boy who wonders is he good enough for them
Keeps tryin' to please 'em all but he just never seems to fit in
Then there's the girl who thinks she'll never ever be good enough for him
Keeps tryin' to change and that's a game she'll never win
Now, in life, there's gonna be times when you're feeling low
And in your mind, insecurities seem to take control
We start to look outside ourselves for acceptance and approval
We keep forgetting that the one thing we should know is
[CHORUS]
In the mirror is where she comes face to face with her fears
Her own reflection now foreign to her after all these years
All of her life she has tried to be something besides herself
Now, time has passed and she's ended up someone else with regret
What is it in us that makes us feel the need to keep pretending?
Gotta let ourselves be
[CHORUS (2x)]
[SPOKEN:]
So, what're you waiting for?
That was Christina Aguilera's "Soar" from her "Stripped" album.
OMD. That sng's giving me so much strenght in these fucked up scholar times!!!! *_*
*hums*
Don't be scared to fly alone, find a path that is your own
Love will open every door it's in your hands, the world is yours
Don't hold back and always know all the answers will unfold
What are you waiting for, spread your wings and soar lalalaaaaaa.....
I AM OFF TO PN YET AGAIN FOR THE MATHS TUTORING.
Please, someone kill me.
Yesterday we wrote that test and Ivor asked me to turn over the paper with people's already finished tests of the group A (I was B) and stupid bitch me did so AND the professor saw me and started to yell at me like fuck and that dickhead Ivor was just LOOKING, BEING QUIET AND SAYING NOTHING FOR MY DEFENCE! And! After she ended her yelling speech, he tapped my shoulder and said "Sorry".
I HATE PEOPLE WITH NO CHARACTER.
I HATE THAT FUCKING CHICKEN DICKHEAD.
NOW IT'S ME HAVING PROBLEMS AGAIN FOR SOMETHING I DID FOR THAT FUCKER WHO WASN'T BRAVE EVEN FOR SAYING THAT IT'S ALL HIS FUCKING FAULT!!!!!!
If it was the other way round, I'd say that it was all cuz of me. Fucked up asshole Ivor, go lick your stinky balls you goddamned fucker.
The best thing is, my father when to the school to that prof the other day cuz I'm failing Maths & he wanted to discuss whatever - and few days after that THIS HAPPENED TO ME AND NOW I LOOK LIKE A COMPLETE BITCH IN FRONT OF EVERYONE.
I HATE THIS LIFE.
Now my mother came here, told me to pack my Maths notebook and when I told her that I have forgotten in at school, SHE STARTED YELLING ME THAT EVERYTHING I DO, IS WRONG!!!!!!!!
Please, lemme die, lemme just die, I can't fucking tahan this treatment, this attitude, this school, this life, these fucking society rules, this fucking cage I am in, I DON'T WANT TO LIVE LIKE THIS ANYFUCKINGMORE!!!!!!!
Off to that fucked up PN I go.
Byebye. I hope some truck's gonna run over me accidentally or I'm gonna jump under it!
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
2/5 Survived
3 more days to go! One concert tomorrow with the sadly un-talented Slovak singers. Heheh. One Maths test as well. Ughhhh. I still haven't revised anything, but it's not like I had any energy to do so....but I reaaly, really really should. Sigh. -_-
Just today I was talking with Ali on the fact that the way the society is determines our lifes too..well, more or less. We've agreed that people in SVK are seriously ignorant, not self-confident at all and always ready to lick asses (in the meaning of being fake & oh-so-empathetic just so they can get what they want once the person starts to like 'em).
Our school has changed into an institution where's you're virtually NOBODY if you don't wear at least Hilfiger. Or D & G. Or Versace? Oh, maybe Cavalli would do too. *shrugs*
Ain't that sickening?
OMD, when I'm a mother one day, I swear I won't buy any Versace to my spoiled, naughty adolescent kid. My duckness. VERSACE!
UJ's sickening me cuz he wears Hilfiger here & there all the time but his parents don't. Their clothes are like half cheaper than his but they buy him all these Hilfigers cuz....ehm, I dunno the reason actually. Too much love maybe. But he's so spoiled already! @_#
Please, girls in 2B grade, I know half of you has a secret crush on him, but REALLY - WAKE UP. He wouldn't be a good boyfriend for you. Trust me, if you've got brain, you'd kick his Hilfiger-clothed-ass in a week. ;)
It's also sickening me, how Kucci envies my 4000Skk worth of aliments each month. Yup, I've got 4000Skk/month but do I have a normal, complete family? No, I DON'T!!!!
Okay, what sickens me the most - on my sickening list - is that my life consists of two things:
3 more days to go! One concert tomorrow with the sadly un-talented Slovak singers. Heheh. One Maths test as well. Ughhhh. I still haven't revised anything, but it's not like I had any energy to do so....but I reaaly, really really should. Sigh. -_-
Just today I was talking with Ali on the fact that the way the society is determines our lifes too..well, more or less. We've agreed that people in SVK are seriously ignorant, not self-confident at all and always ready to lick asses (in the meaning of being fake & oh-so-empathetic just so they can get what they want once the person starts to like 'em).
Our school has changed into an institution where's you're virtually NOBODY if you don't wear at least Hilfiger. Or D & G. Or Versace? Oh, maybe Cavalli would do too. *shrugs*
Ain't that sickening?
OMD, when I'm a mother one day, I swear I won't buy any Versace to my spoiled, naughty adolescent kid. My duckness. VERSACE!
UJ's sickening me cuz he wears Hilfiger here & there all the time but his parents don't. Their clothes are like half cheaper than his but they buy him all these Hilfigers cuz....ehm, I dunno the reason actually. Too much love maybe. But he's so spoiled already! @_#
Please, girls in 2B grade, I know half of you has a secret crush on him, but REALLY - WAKE UP. He wouldn't be a good boyfriend for you. Trust me, if you've got brain, you'd kick his Hilfiger-clothed-ass in a week. ;)
It's also sickening me, how Kucci envies my 4000Skk worth of aliments each month. Yup, I've got 4000Skk/month but do I have a normal, complete family? No, I DON'T!!!!
Okay, what sickens me the most - on my sickening list - is that my life consists of two things:
- STRESS
- MATHS TUTORING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I really, seriously feel that MY LIFE IS ABOUT NOTHING ELSE THAN THE FUCKED UP MATHS.
What do I do during EVERY FUCKING WEEKEND for the PAST FUCKING EIGHT YEARS??!!!!
C'mon, you've guessed it liao.
MATHS TUTORING. Piestany. YEAHHHH.
There were times when I was in PN literally every weekend. That was especially 2 yrs ago when I was struggling with Physics, Chemistry & Maths. Now I'm struggling just with Maths, but cuz I have no one to help me at the tests, I'm failing. HOLY FUCKING SHIT, I CANNOT TAHAN THIS!!!!
Sometimes I wonder how could I survive the time of two years ago.
My mother was a really bad alcohol addict. Thus, I was crying every night.
I was constantly sleep-deprived. 3~4 hours of sleep/night? Oh, my routine.
Tests? I missed out on a lot of them before, so I was writing them on other dates. TWO, THREE TESTS A DAY? OH, another routine.
Every weekend in PN full of Maths, Physics & Chemistry and NO RESULT at the test?! Yes, I know how it feels.
I was at the verge of tears every damn fucking Friday when I was yet again off to PN. Even now I am whenever I have to go there again for the tuition.
IT WAS THE MISTAKE OF MY LIFE THAT I WENT TO THE GRAMMAR SCHOOL I AM STILL ATTENDING.
The only good thing at it are my classmates which are lovely, sweet people whom I really really like. But otherways? FUCK. IT. ALL.
Enough rants for today.
One more: AFTER MY FATHER HAS "REPAIRED" THIS PC, EVERYTHING IS FUCKING SLOW AND DOESN'T WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
God, if You exist, then I wanna slap you. =_=
Listening to: "Babo" by TVXQ
Yay!: Erm...maybe we're off to Cape Verde Islands for Xmas & New Year! ^_^
Grrrr: Read this entry, OK.
Saturday, December 02, 2006
Let Me Breath
It's been a bad day
Let me rest now
Leave me alone
Let me breath
Leave me with myself
Life's such a bitch
And so are us within it
I can't breath anymore
Where's the joy
Where's the love
Where's the harmony
I ask myself
As I come home late
Exhausted and lonely
Where's the hug
Where's the tranquility
When for being human
We lack the ability
What right do you have
To attack me?!
Look at yourself, you loser
You're no better than me
Empty
Fake
Shallow
Poser
No man
Shut the fuck up & go away
I have no time for you
Telling me I'm
Stupid
Ugly
Fat
Disgusting
Must be such a great ego boost
Loser
I used to like you, 'friend'
Bye, until you grow up!
Let me breath
Take me to wherever I could
Gain the courage to live
Learn to love again
Stand up & smile
Stereotypic life
Grey, sad & troublesome
Let the golden sunshine
Pierce my grey heart
Hug me, Happiness
See my standing here alone?
Let me dream
Then pursue it
Let me run through the rainbow
With a smile on my face
Let me breath
The Life
Let me breath
Careless & free
Let me breath
Confident & successful
Let me breath
Let me breath
For now I can't
It's been a bad day
Let me rest now
Leave me alone
Let me breath
Leave me with myself
Life's such a bitch
And so are us within it
I can't breath anymore
Where's the joy
Where's the love
Where's the harmony
I ask myself
As I come home late
Exhausted and lonely
Where's the hug
Where's the tranquility
When for being human
We lack the ability
What right do you have
To attack me?!
Look at yourself, you loser
You're no better than me
Empty
Fake
Shallow
Poser
No man
Shut the fuck up & go away
I have no time for you
Telling me I'm
Stupid
Ugly
Fat
Disgusting
Must be such a great ego boost
Loser
I used to like you, 'friend'
Bye, until you grow up!
Let me breath
Take me to wherever I could
Gain the courage to live
Learn to love again
Stand up & smile
Stereotypic life
Grey, sad & troublesome
Let the golden sunshine
Pierce my grey heart
Hug me, Happiness
See my standing here alone?
Let me dream
Then pursue it
Let me run through the rainbow
With a smile on my face
Let me breath
The Life
Let me breath
Careless & free
Let me breath
Confident & successful
Let me breath
Let me breath
For now I can't
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