Thursday, March 08, 2007

On ProGamers

I was just watching the Arirang's Heart To Heart talkshow and there was this Polish dude with an honorable 'job' of a StarCraft ProGamer in the honoruable Korean ProGamers team.
Now, StarCraft is some stupid e-game where you probably kill some weirdos. I suppose it's like in all games for little boys; if you don't kill them, they'll kill YOU!

I love intelligent games.

Here's StarCraft:


This dude was a TYPICAL computer id....erm, geek. White as a ghost with glassy, empty eyes, 44kg, arms thinner than mine and a messy, ugly hair. He was wearing a white-lime green TEAM CLOTHING consisting of ugly pants and an ugly hoody. Cannot tahan.

He was speaking on how they're practising their idiotic StarCraft 13 hours a day and how it's very difficult, how he has no time and how the Korean computer idiots are much much better than those in Europe.

I've found a nice Polish (ah, the irony!) cartoon concerning the StarCraft Geeks. It's in Polish but I kind of understand it, so I'll translate it.

Year 1998:
The pig: "What Are you doing?"
The owl: "I'm playing StarCraft."

Year 2005:
The pig: "?"
The owl: "I'm playing StarCraft."

Year 2020:
The pig: "?"
The owl: "I'm playing StarCraft."

Year 2060:
The pig: "Oh no! Are you playing StarCraft?!"
The owl: "I'm downloading its newest stuff!!"

MUAHAHAHA, how accurate. The credits are *here*. ^^

Back to E-gamers.
Oh duckness, I have a classmate who wants to become an e-gamer/progamer (however you call it) too and he so resembles this Polish dude. Only I dunno if this Polish dude also fancies porn with animals?! @_@

These people are DERANGED and nobody's gonna persuade me about the opposite.

The weirdest thing is, how importantly and normally is it regarded in Korea. Like, the e-gamers there are sort of heroic people.
Heroic for what ah?!
For masturbating 13 hours a day while playing idiotic games?! For being able to kill few virtual dudes in a virtual world with virtual everything?!

Wow, you hero, you've killed so many enemies.

Now, if I kick your 3cm thin arm, it'll get broken and you'll start crying cuz you're too weak to lift your sweaty hand from the mouse.

Ah, the irony again, there's this weekly (or even daily?) E-GAME MAGAZINE at Arirang now. The host is talking about how the dudes are playing, what they're playing, what strategies are they using and all.

I've watched it once.
In this episode 6 dudes went to the hairstylist to get a sexy haircut and then they had a photoshoot. OMFG, I thought I was hallucinating. A HAIRSTYLIST! A PHOTOSHOOT!!! For what ah? For some stupid upcoming e-gamers masturbating competition?!

Cannot tahan.

One day when I'll have a son, I'll NEVER let him even touch games like these. @_@ I can't risk him possibly dreaming about becoming a ProGamer. NO WAY.

These dudes should get a life, a girlfriend (so they won't be left to masturbating in front of hentai) and a brain.

Live and let live, they say.
I'm sooo tolerant but I can't understand these retards. If you happen to be an e-gamer reading my blog, at least you know now WHAT I think about your pathetic existence, thankyouverymuch.

Oh and on another note, I'm off top Piestany today and I'll be fucking busy. Aiyaaah! I'm supposed to work on my portfolios, learn English cuz of the TOEFL and there are voices whispering me stuffs about MATHS too but I dunno if I won't commit suicide hearing that word again. ARGHHH.

Take care duckies and see you on Sunday! ^_^


Anonymous said...

Starcraft is an AWESOME game...
The guy who is the best in the world is some Korean dude... dunno his name... But starcraft is cool, you should play it :P...
I hardly play video games any more but those guys who spen the lives doing it well, I dunno... If they enjoy it I guess it's fine. I think it is a waste of time personally... Every once in a while is fine BUT 13 HOURS!!!???

kafka said...

koreans are really hardcore gamers. its a well-known fact all over asia. if you think real live breathing koreans are like what's portrayed in drama're dead wrong...

Ilkka said...

Like one friend of mine, he just plays Counter-Strike (CS) and talks about it and told how cool it would be to become a progamer etc. And I´m always just like @__@ when he talks about it. Then he always tells me how I should start playing it too and how fun it is and I´m again like @__@.

Once we were in Helsinki and he took me to some nerd place, which was a place full of computers and there were blue lights: "so that ones eyes won´t get so easily tired" as he told me. I started to feel sick there, because I thought how sick that all is and told him that I´ll wait him outside. Then he didn´t leave nerdying there as he would have wanted to.

OMB... I think I´ll do the same as you: if I´ll ever get children I won´t let them even see computers (which might be quite difficult in future, cuz it´s difficult even now) xD

kafka said...


didnt realise finns are that nutty too.

Ilkka said...


well, luckily not all of us.... like I´m totally normal :P

kafka said...


right...oh by the way, thanks for nokia. ;)

Ilkka said...


Thanks for thanking me for Nokia xD
But of course it´s me, who deserves these thanks :P