What Makes My Blog Boring

I'm watching Girls Out Loud Episode 5 Part 3 at YouTube.com now & due to my greatmaster' (greatmistress'? I'm a woman afterall) ability to multi-task, I'm also reading various blogs when I'm waiting for the GOL to load.

All those blogs are so sizzling hot, hip, fancy, funny, stylish & well-written.

(I've read Xiaxue, Cheesie, Kenny Sia, Jolene Lai, Justine :) and Potatomus Maximus so far today.)

And my blog - apart from being crappy - is mainly BORING.

So let's ask myself:

WHAT MAKES MY BLOG BORING?

*Due to the Reason 1 - "No real dedication" must go watch GOL again. Will come back after like 8 minutes!*

*OK. Back liao. Episode 5 was really kool but I swear, if a guy asks me whether I want to buy a flat with him, I'm gonna kick his balls off!*

Reason 1: Already mentioned. NO REAL DEDICATION.

I don't take this as a serious job, I'm not showing off my non-existent writer's ambitions and I'm not trying to make my 0.003 readers laugh their heads off (although it may occur sometimes, usually unintentionally) while reading my daily quacks.

Reason 2: LIMITED TOPICS.
My entries are usually about:

• How shitty life my is
  
  
• How crispy, sizzling, saucy, lovely, cute, crunchy & rapeable various Korean celebs are (especially Bae Yong Joon & Choi Dong Wook *salivates*)
  
  
• How is UJ stupid
  
  
• How is my one-sided platonic love/obsession/personal degeneration with S going on, how much I miss him/love him/don't miss him/don't love him anymore and how I'm 'surely' gonna confess/move on
  
  
• How much I hate Maths & going to PN
  
  
• How much I miss Singapore & Malaysia and how I'm DEFINATELY going back there
  
  
• How I MUST get to Cenfad, or else............. x_x
  
  
• How much I wanna eat *this* or *that* and usually *this* and *that* are from Singapore and Malaysia so I can't get it anyways
  
  

Limited, isn't it? Ooooh yes, it surely is.

Reason 3: NO PHOTOS.
I'm just lazy to upload pictures because uploading pictures means resizing them, adding the blog addy there and then uploading them to PhotoBucket....well, and finally uploding them to Blogger. I wouldn't mind all this if my Photoshop was actually working but it isn't so whatever.
Oh yes and what if my friends in here found it? CANNOT TAHAN LA!!! @_#

Reason 4: FEAR OF GETTING FOUND BY PEOPLE IN SVK.
I'm actually worried that UJ is gonna find some pics from summer which I uploaded here to some entry.
If that happened...... *jumps* #_#
This blog is way too full of my Entries With Limited Topics TM and thus, I wouldn't want to have it read by SVKians. What if S understood that it's about him? And UJ? Gosh, I'd probably die then. @_@

Reason 5: BORING LAYOUT.
OK. I may be an aspiring graphic designer but I CAN'T DESIGN WEBSITES. I'll never have a sparkling glamour wonderful blog like Xiaxue or like any 13 years old HK schoolgirlie keeping a blog & knowing all about web design & Photoshop at this tender age.
I'm 17 and I'm glad I know that <> < / b > without spaces means that the letters will get bold.
Pathetic.
I'm ashamed!

Reason 6: ENGLISH IS NOT MY NATIVE LANGUAGE.
Thus I can't express everything exactly the way I want to, although, I must shamelessly and proudly say that I'm pretty good. Only I got 3 from the recent English test....hahaha....okie, but I've never been able to write regular tests. :P I'm good at essays, not at the tests!!!!

Reason 6: WEIRD LANGUAGE USED.
I don't know many people who combine English, Malay words which hubooby taught me and weird duck-related phrases all in a neat package on a blog by a Slovak with Korean ancestors and with a Hungarian surname. Gila! :P

There you go.
There are more reasons but due to the Reason 1 I must now go watch GOL 6 hosted by the kool chick Ros and the ah lian prototype, blog icon Xiaxue.
I can't get used to the fact that Xiaxue is such an ah lian in reality too! And I thought she's just acting it or what! I thought she can't wear THAT much make-up in real.....and that she surely wouldn't wear that much pink girlish Barbie stuff at once!!!!!

Sigh.
My illusions about the world were yet again kicked hard.

Working Hard On Being A Panda

I've been studying Economics until now (from 10.45pm though) but now I'm having a pause & doing WHAT..?
.

.

.
Reading news about Bae Yong Joon at Joon's Family. *slaps head*

(S' lips are likes this; mmmmmmmm, hey sweety u want kiss kiss ok u sexy thing? <---- Pakitalk! XD)

It's indeed very relaxing & it deepens my irrational, unconditional love towards him but it certainly DOESN'T deepen my knowledge of the Economics!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aiyaaaah....but economics is just SO boring.....like WHO CARES for all those dry, boring formulas about trade, market & money? *yawns* Not me. x_x

12.27am liao. I'm waking up in less that 6 hours and I STILL don't know it all. -_- My fault though, I shouldn't have been talking crap on ICQ with guys on UJ's gayish appearence and other unimportant stupid gossip. Sigh.

Well, tomorrow (or actually, today~) I'll have a presentation from Renaissance for which I'm hopefully going to get 1 and then this Economics test from which if I get 3 I'll jump 5 meters high & dance salsa. :P





All guys should be gentlemen like BYJ. ALL GUYS!!!! YOU HEAR ME, ASSHOLES?! :)
I'm like a crazy Japanese ahjumma....they love BYJ. Hahahaha. :D I go for older men, OK! He's 34 years old! :D


One day, in my next life, I'm going to be Choi Ji-Woo and I'll star with BYJ in Winter Sonata. Oooohh, those hugs & kisses. *fans herself* *_* Can't wait! ^^v XD

Keep On Singin' My Song

I woke up this morning with a smile on my face
And nobody's gonna bring me down today
Been feeling like nothing's been going my way lately
But I decided right here, an' now, that my outlook's gonna change

That's why I'm gonna
Say goodbye to all the tears I've cried
Everytime somebody hurt my pride
Feelin' like they won't let me live life
Take the time to look at what is mineI see every blessing so clearly
And I thank god for what I got from above

I believe they can take anything from me
But they can't succeed in taking my inner peace from me
They can say all they wanna say about meBut I'm gonna carry on (carry on)
I'mma keep on (keep on) singin' my song(La, la, la, etc.)

I never wanna dwell on the pain again
There's no use in relivin' how I hurt back then
Rememberin' too well the hell I felt when I was runnin' out of faith
Every step I'm 'bout to take moves towards a better day
Cause I'm about toSay farewell to every single lie
And all the fears I've held too long inside

Everytime I felt I couldn't try
All the negativity inside
For too long, I've been strugglin', couldn't go on
But now I've found I'm feelin' strong and I'm moving on

I believe they can take anything from me
But they can't succeed in taking my inner peace from me
They can say all they wanna say about me
But I'm gonna carry on, (carry on)
I'mma keep on (keep on) singin' my song

Every time I tried to be what they wanted from me
It never came naturally, so I ended up in misery
Was unable to see all the good around me
Wasted so much energy on what they thought of me
Than simply just remembering to breathe

I'm humanly unable to please everyone at the same time
So now I find my peace of mind living one day at a time
In the end I answer to one god
Comes down to one love till I get to heaven above

I have made the decision
Never to give in
Till the I day I die no matter what
Im gonna carry on, I'mma keep on singin' my song

(They can't take anything from me)




This is going to be my MANTRA, MY SONG.
I had a bit of a breakdown yesterday, I got aggravated like fuck & all, dunno, I cried, I bitched, I yelled AND bitched..........it was so exhausting.......cannot tahan anymore.
Today I'm going to the school with my head head up proudly to FAIL MATHS.
Okay.
That's life.
Get used to it, you lazy bitch.

HARD WORK PAYS OFF but not everytime. Forget all the tears, babe. Forget the anger. GRAPHIC DESIGNER DON'T NEED THE FUCKING MATHS!!!!!!!

I think I MUST get to KL, otherways lif's just fucking unfair. You know - yin yang principle; endlessly fucked up shitty high school ---> great uni life ----> fucked up job? -----> great retirement!

Whatever, fuck it anyways.

I think even if I had a bf now, he'd break up with me for my negativism.

BF: "Sweeeeety, I love youuuuuuuu!"
ME: "Hey, stop this mush, we're gonna break up anyways, all good things come to an end."
BF: "...."

WAHAHAHA.

Must get dressed & all and go fail Maths now. WHO CARES?!
I don't, 13% is cool considering my knowledge is 0%-ish!!!!!

Apparently NOT Feeling Like Looking At Maths Which I'm Gonna Fail No Matter What I Do =_=

Long title, right?

Short post though. And VERY angry.

I HATE THIS!
I AM STRESSED OUT!
EVERYONE WANTS SOMETHING FROM ME!
AAARRGGGHHH, FUCK YOU ALL!!!
WHERE ARE ALL THOSE HUNKY ASIAN GUYS, WHEN YOU NEED ONE?!
{OK, I'm in Europe, I should move elsewhere, preferrably to Asia}
WHY IS MATHS *THAT* IMPORTANT FOR ME, AN ASPIRING GRAPHIC DESIGNER?!
FUCK YOU, SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

***

UJ is a weirdo.

Me: *flips through his notebook with straight As noted down* "I haaaaaate people with straight As.....they're weird!!!! I'm not gonna talk to you anymore!"
(I don't hate them, but they ARE weird! It's not humanly possible to get straight As, at least not at my fucking school!)

UJ: "Jesus Christ....okay....I'm gonna write here some B!"

WTD!!!! :P

***

10.55pm.
Should I bother with that Maths, or not? O_o
Maybe just a bit, pro forma. That won't hurt me, although it's certainly gonna make me throw the Maths notebook outta the window.

This reminds me of - you know what am I gonna do after my graduation? ^_~

I AM GOING TO BURN ALL THE NOTEBOOKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RITUALLY!!!!! YEAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Can't wait liao. *evil laughter*

***

I haven't seen S for few months already, yet I still think about him and feel the urge to mention him every 5 seconds. Someone, please kick my ass, so I'll shut up finally cuz I'm tiring myself with it already. @_@

13%. 13%. 13%.
Oh, if S knew how stupid am I. He'd laugh his ass off.




And I know I'm very vulgar, but I don't care. Blah. I'm gonna take care of myself & become ladylike when I'm outta this fucking school. Bleh.

Bleh

I have an awful headache, Ibalgin gulped down liao, itchy eyes, ecsema, & 13% from Maths. So yeah, I'm failing. Well, just a little detail, I have a TEST tomorrow and I was just desperately trying to practice those equations and sadly, it was worthless. A waste of time, really. =_=

Luckily, we can fail on the 1st semester....we just can't fail on the other semester with the graduation.

I've never failed anything (thanks to cheating, friend's help at the tests & endless hours of tuition) but IT'S TIME.
Sigh.

Also, I have the entrance exams to VSVU on January 29 and I still have to do around 20 artworks...now....how much do I have already? Like, ONE?! Fuck it!!! Yes, ONE!!!!
I wanted to draw that still life with giocondas today, but somehow, I can't.

In all my horoscopes I read: "Focus on your studies, forget guys, work on your future..." & yaddayadda and I'll tell ya, I'd really like to do that only if it wasn't SO MUCH AT ONE TIME!!!!
I'M GONNA GET MAD SOON!!!!!!
FUCK!

I love that insomnia too, yesterday I went to bed at midnight and fell asleep at 1.30am. Mmmm, I felt "SO FRESH" today......like a zombie, really. #_#

It's 10.35pm now.
What should I do? Try to study or go read some blogs & then go to bed?

I'll see. Hmmm.

Btw, sorry if I don't reply to your SMSes but I don't wanna have the billhigh like shit again, recently it was like 2500Skk and that's WAY too much!

Back From PN

I have so many entries called "Back From PN"....I think that truly reflects my shitty life. @_@

Week full of shit.
Weekend full of shitty Maths tuition.

CAN DIE LA!!!!! *bangs head*

I had a very good mood almost all day long, probably due to the nice dream I had, but now it had strangely dissipated and dissapeared in the shit of life. Gah.

Know what my nice dream was about?

About having a cute Korean architecture student boyfriend in KL who wore yellow
polo t-shirt, black rimmed plastic glasses (Sung Si Kyung-ish glasses) and with
whom I used to go to Kinokuniya and Starbucks at KLCC. Oh yes, I met him in KL
cuz I studied there.

WAAAHHH!!!!! FASCINATINGLY GORGEOUS!!!!! *___* ^___^
Only if it was not just a dream, right. ._.

It kind of kicked me off though; whenever I recall me & my cute K-bf strolling around KL under the scorching sun and in the 85% humidity sweating like shit, I feel that I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING I CAN TO MAKE MY DREAM COME TRUE.

Yesterday I draw a portrait btw; I chose a pic which hubooby sent me ages ago, there's some Ben guy smiling naughtily and so I drew him. I wanted to show you the portrait but as my brand new Olympus is a completely SHITTY camera, it's making problems & I can't upload it to the PC and then to here. WTP.
Sigh.
Next time, okay?

It's pretty good, btw. Muahaha. Long live self-flattery! :D


Me & DD have just decided that our future dogs will be called Tequila (DD's) and Mojito (mine). HAHA!!! :D Can't wait liao. ^^




I just told DD that the MINUTE AFTER MY GRADUATION, I'LL DANCE UP NAKED TO S, FRENCH KISS HIM & THEN JUMP INTO HIS SWIMMING POOL.
OMD, imagine if I did that! XD
I think he's enjoy it if I had Jessica Alba's body, but sadly, that's not true, so I think he'd just vomit. =_=
Sigh.


Enough mumbling. Must go procrastinate until I decide to take a shower & then to draw a still life with giocondas. ^^

Sexual Baelution, Maternal Instincts & The Almost-Cured Bursitis

I've just returned from the doc, pizzeria and the short walk with Haku. As I've mentioned yesterday, I have a bursitis on my left elbow but it's curing fast. ^^ I feel like retired cuz I got the Coxtral prescribed and that's what old people eat...haha... :D

Today at the doc - more specifically, at the chirurgy ward where I went for check-up - I saw a little, curly, red-haired girlie running around. She was so CUUUUTE!!!! ^___^
Seems like my maternal instincts are awakening........

BUT!!!!

I refuse to share my precious DNA with anybody else than S or his sexy bro Peter/Bae Yong Joon/Choi Dong Wook/prince William/(acceptable) Kwon Sang Woo.

CHOICE 1: He's twice older as me, okay, but he's the prototype of an IDEAL MAN for me (even with this ponytail! That's for the new drama, ok!!!! Stop giggling!) so I would.....oh...naughty....cannot say! ^_~
SEXUAL BAELUTION.
Okay, here he looks weird, I admit, with those grandpa glasses but you know why I chose this pic? Cuz of that SINCERE LAUGHTER. Me loves it. ^_^

BYJ looks almost like S and vice versa, so CHOICE 1 represents them both. Oh, and S' sexy brother Peter, but he doesn't resemble BYJ, he resembles GOD with his 186cm, swimmer's toned body, veeeery broad shoulders and heavenly face. Yummy! ^^
I THINK I WANNA HAVE HIM SERVED JUST IN BOXERS AND WITH BLUEBERRIES & CHOCOLATE WHIPPED CREAM ALL OVER HIS ALMOST-NAKED BODY.
Oh, am I naughty!
Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir? XD

CHOICE 2, Choi Dong Wook. 'Nuff said! *_* He's young, hot, sexy, adorable, cute and LET'S HOPE he's intelligent too. Hahahaha.


CHOICE 3, with Kwon Sang Woo. I think you're getting the drift now; I usually go for well-mannered, shy, handsome gentlemans with beautiful eyes and smiles. Oh, and I like messy hairstyles. And glasses would do too, those black plastic ones are the coolest ones cuz they look soo like you're an architect/designer! :D
I'm superficial, it's official now. XD

CHOICE4, but this one is not that important and interesting. And anyways, William also reminds me of S with these features he has got so it all leads to the same point anyways. :P
Am I pathetic or WHAT?! =_=

S/Peter/BYJ/CDW/KSW/William...doesn't matter...Our children will still then be adorable, intelligent, sweet, cute, funny, well-behaved and with rich, adorable, intelligent, sweet, cute, funny, busy & naughty parents. I LIKE THAT. XD

BY THE WAY, not only I got my maternal instincts awakened there! :D I was called a Chinese! :D
I met two girls (11yrs old maybe?) at the chirurgy ward who were waiting for check-up just like I did and we've started to talk & suddenly they told me:

"Whohooo...you have such big eyes....actually we thought at first that you're a Chinese!"

I was like, "O_o Really? :P" cuz I really wasn't expecting that my 1/k Korean quarter is *that* visible (even though they thought I'm a Chinese. :P). Maybe it's thanks to my Sung Si Kyung-ish hairstyle, probably it emphasizes my face or something.



Oh, alright....time to do something else than just blabbing here. It's 3.18pm so now I'll go make a good, steamy cup of tea, reply to Raymond's & R dad's emails and take another walk with Haku....and then....off to Aupark! :D SALES everywhere! YEAHHH!!! :D

I have nothing to write actually, only that:

• I've found a pic where BYJ looks EXACTLY like S, but I'm lazy to post it now here.
• liezle.blogspot.com RULEZ ^_^ BYJ forever, hmm? ^_^
• I have bursitis of my left elbow! :P See Wiki for more. :)
• Today I took a walk at S hill again. Ah, nostalgy... ^^
• CONDUCKTULATIONS, BAIBEE, TO YOUR SLOVAKIA PROJECT!!!! :D Thanks for promoting my country among people who think it's in Eastern Siberia! ^_^
• I bought a new hoddie at Pull & Bear and now I'm broke
• R's sis is hoping me & R get together again one day. WTP!
• R's mom misses me.....and vice versa! T_T
• I must ask R's mom for the fried rice recipe :P
• ANY HOT ARCHITECTURE STUDENTS TO HUG ME?! Koreans preferred. Muahahaaa. :P
• Friday tmr! ^_^
• TUITION IN PN AGAIN. FUCK. IT. @_#

I Look Like Sung Si Kyung

That's right. New hair, new look. This time like Sung Si Kyung! XD

This is Sung Si Kyung.










And this is me:

WAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHA!!!!!!
I'm either him or his twin. XD

And I don't like my hair much cuz it looks too sporty & like from a Korean boyband, but that's the price I pay for telling the hairdresser to "do whatever she wants with my hair, as long as she cuts off my fucked up hair tips". Aiyah. :P =_=

I'm not in a good mood. @_@
The fucking pressure I feel from everywhere & everyobne is gonna kill me soon.... There are so many things I MUST do... I think I'm gonna explode soon. Fuck, I hate this life.
I need to change the environment but that's KL and for that I have to endure this fucking pressure.

SIGH.
Where is my giddy, crazy, hyperactive, good mood when I need one? -_-

Horseriding

I had a dream where I was horseriding & I was with my cousin in some wood or where....first at a beige sidewalk, then in our old horseriding club (closed already T_T). Amazing. O_O

I went to analyze it & see what I've got:

HORSE:
To see a horse in your dream, represents a strong, physical energy. You need to tame the wild forces. The dream may imply that you have been horsing around. Or perhaps you need to be less arrogant and "get off your high horse".

To see a black or dark horse in your dream (well, mine was terracota red), signifies mystery, wildness, and the unknown. You may be taking a chance or gamble at some unknown area. It may even represents occult forces.

To dream that you are riding a horse, denotes that you will achieve success through underhanded means. You lack integrity. If you are riding a horse that is out of control, signifies that you are being carried away by your passions.

WOODS:
To see the woods in your dream, represents life, fertility, rejuvenation, and spring. Alternatively, it symbolizes the unknown and unconscious. You may be discovering your instinctual nature.

BEIGE:
Beige represents the basics, the essentials and the barest form. It may also indicate your neutral or unbiased position.

SIDEWALK:
To dream that you are walking on a sidewalk, your steady progress and direction in life. You may be moving on to new walks of life.


What should it mean then? O_o
That I 'lack integrity', YET I 'have a steady progress & direction in life'? :P
Actually, probably yes, cuz even through all my cheating at the tests and being scattered, I know what I want & am (more or less :P) working on it. Mwaha.

The wood was of course a mixture of brown trunks, greens, dark greens & olive greens & even golds, as it was almost autumn:

GREEN:
Green signifies a positive change, good health, growth, healing, hope, vigor, vitality, peace, and serenity. Green is also symbolic of your strive to gain recognition and establish your independence. Money, wealth and jealousy are often associated with this color.

Dark green indicates materialism, cheating, deceit, and/or difficulties with sharing. You need to balance between your masculine and feminine attributes.

OLIVE GREEN:
The olive green color symbolizes natural wisdom and Zen. You need to achieve peace in your environment.

BROWN:
Brown denotes worldliness, practicality, domestic and physical comfort, conservatism, and a materialistic character. Brown also represents the ground and earth.

GOLD:
The golden color reflects your spiritual rewards, richness, refinement and enhancement of your surroundings.


Erm, what about this now? O_o
That I DO 'need to achieve peace in my surroundings', I just agree. I also agree that I 'strive to gain recognition & establish my independance'...only it's not that easy, especially with 65Skk on my account!!!! That's like...not even 2 Euro! FUCK!!!!! @_# XD

Teheheee.
I REALLY need a part time job...another one, besides my hostessing which is very irregular... But that must wait after my VSVU entrance exams. Sigh.



I'm going to cook myself oat porridge now (sounds disgusting? ^_~ Actually, it's yummy!) which is not only delicious but also great for hair & skin. :D

Oat flakes + milk ===> cook, then sprinkle with Granko or cinnamon/cane sugar. ^^
YUMMMYLICIOUS! ^^


*Edit*
MY ELBOW STILL HURTS!!!! Uuuuaaaawwhgfhjhvghjcggf, I'll die! X_X Why does it hurt? @_#
Also I have period cramps but no period. I wish it'd come already, I can feel it's just around the corner....

OK, I can't add the HTML of SiteMeter cuz it ain't workin' cuz my blog is ducked up. WTP.
What if I add the HTML *here*? Will *THAT* work?
It's pointless to add it here, I know, but I'm just testing it. :P



Not visible on preview. Sigh.
Quackever.

My Rapist Alter Ego Gets To Blog Today

I really wonder what I've been doing last night cuz my left elbow now hurts like hell & is red & swollen.

Perhaps I've been fighting with Leif (my plushy elk).
Or I've tried to rape S!!!!! XD

I hope it was the 2nd option, that'd be far more exciting...hhahahhaha, just kidding. :D

Anyways, apart from raping the forever muse, crush & icon S, I also wouldn't mind raping Se7en:

Shit, how can anyone be THAT hot?! O_o I don't think he's real actually; he's probably just a holographic image or what.........mere humans CAN'T be that hot!!!! *salivates*
Even my friend who doesn't like Asian guys said that he's "da 1st class". I can just agree.

Wah, I wanna tie him, tear the clothes from him and....


DUCK OFF, YOU RAPIST ALTER EGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAARGGHH!!!! >_< @_#

*Mich the non-rapist comes*

Hello, duckies! ^^
Mind my rapist alter ego, it's just frustrated or something....that must be my inner Lil' Kim or something. Sigh. :P

But Se7en?!
OK, even though I don't really wanna rape him, I wanna date him! DUCK! I wish it was possible. =_= But maybe he's an asshole anyways.....but a hot asshole at least...hahhahah....


Enough duckshit. Grrrrr.
I'm going to update my SiteMeter now, I kinda removed it from my blog when updating this layout & forgot to put it back.....lemme do that now so I can see if this is read at least by 3 ducks from which I'm one. :P
Quack quack.

I Want A Boyfriend!

UUUAAA!!!! TT____TT
Tsung Long got his Maya. Munie got her Hiro. Teresa still has her Ivo. Jasmin has her Aladdin. Mulan has her Li Shang. Fiona has her Shrek. S has her blonde....*gulps down nasty words* ...girlfriend. :P

GAH!!!!!

@_@

Me got who? Nobody! *sniff*
Well, everyone thinks I'm dating UJ but I can assure you I'm not doing so. I know him too well to be that foolish to date him...haha... You know what I mean? I mean that the 1st impression of him is superb but the 2nd is just TERRIBLE. XD Dun wan.

I FINALLY saw My Sassy Girl today (with this annoying Chinese dabit talking to the Korean!!!! SHIT!) and..uuuaaa!!! T_T

Besides all the emo "I'm-so-lonely-and-have-no-hunky-Asian-boyfriend-to-hug-me" effect it also reming me of Chia Ching AKA Peng as I called him here when I was ranting about him.
I've lost all contact with him already.
._.
I wonder how's he doing?
We were the closest friends ever but then...I dunno...he somehow drifted away from me and I felt sad & angry and then later when he apologized, I was too proud to accept it. :(
Fucking pride! >_< T_T
Because of it I lost one of my closest friends!!!! *sob sob*

Anyway, I digressed.....the movie reminded me of him cuz he said that he totally loves it and it was him who has sent me the My Sassy Girl wallpapers. I still have them, by the way. Sigh.
It was also him who told me that he loved the idea of those "10 Rules" and so....here are mine, in case you wanna date me (haha):


1. Don't ask me to stop being sarcastic.
2. Don't take advantage of me even though it's very easy to do so, I admit.
3. Support me.
4. Bear with my moods and vulgarities I use.
5. Don't try to control me. I have my life!
6. Be a gentleman and behave like a man.
7. Love me the way I am. In other words, don't try to change me!
8. Hug me when I'm sad. Hug me when I'm happy too! :D
9. Be yourself. No posing to impress me or WTD.
10. Give me my freedom but be there when I need you...I'll do the same for you. :)


SIMPLE!!!!
Now just to find someone to follow them.....*sigh*

I'm counting on KL though. Hehe. Thousands of hunky, adorable Asians around! WAH!!! *shiny eyes* And cuz I'm an angmoh, everyone's gonna want me cuz an angmoh girlfriend is a nice trophy. Right, Raymond? XD
Ah sigh, then I'll have to see who wants me as a trophy and who means it seriously.

I'm feeling emo, maybe my period's gonna come, so bear with me, please. :P


I DON'T KNOW WHO AM I!!!!!!
And the fact that I'm a 1/4 Korean complicates it even more! GRRR!!!! >_< @_@
I think I'll also have to count on KL; I say I love Asian guys and Asian food and Asian cosmetics and Asian cinema........and when I'll finally live in Asia, my illusions will drop and well, then I'll see everything. Who am I? I'll learn it then!

Oh... Ilkka is online! *_* ^____^
I think I'm going to talk to him.
I can't multi-task anymore, have you noticed that? SIGH. =_= T_T


I WANT A BOYFRIEND.

Okay, our agreement with Pom (that if we don't find anyone suitable, we marry in 2014, wahhahah) is still valid so he's my last resort. XD He can cook and he's a cutie, what more can I want? :D XD
He has both IQ & EQ too.
The only thing he lacks is.....English!!!!! @_# The boy should learn it better. Wahahaha. Maybe I should tell him. :P

Enough emo mumbling, no one's reading this anyways. :( Or is it?
HEY!!!! GUYS!!!! LEAVE ME A MESSAGE IF YOU'RE READING THIS BLOG!!!! I AM FEELING LONELY AND EMO, I WANT TO HEAR YOUR VOICES!!!!! COMMENT!!!! *_* ^_^

Thanx. ;)

Lazy & Contended/SUPER WEIRD DREAM

Munie & Hiro are a couple! YAY! ^_^ Congratz you two, you're LOVELY!!!! ^___^

Lynnie & Manis got the gifts from me & they like it.. I'M GLAD!! ^___^

I just went to Teresa's Friendster profile and I must say that the saying "Love is blind" is sooooooo true. My ex-bf would surely NOT win the competition for the most handsome man if there was any. Teheheheeee.

I'm late as usual, but SELAMAT HARI RAYA to you, duckies.

Just sent out an e-mail to Cenfad (the 685648976589th e-mail liao) about the min points of TOEFL & the date until when to send the application with all the documents & portfolio...



I had a DAMN WEIRD DREAM today starring S & me. @_@

In the dream I (with some friends) somehow sneaked into his house when he was having some party but I was too scared & shy to show up in the living room where him & his friends & his bro were....so we hid into another room where we hoped not to be noticed.
However, his mother found us and I dunno why, she instantly started to hate me; the first thought I had was "Oh, now that's gonna be a hindrance! How can me & S date? Well, he wouldn't want me anyways, right..."
We were shooed outta the house but later on we've returned.
I dunno why there were blankets in that room we were hiding in, but the second time we sneaked in, the mother came and started to yell at me to get out....I stood up and she saw my period blood (!!!!????) at the blanket!!! Hah! I really don't get this part of the dream...... Anyways, I was sent to wash it off and there I found myself in a long, cold-looking hall with lots of doors and lots of bathrooms.
I went into one and then heard S walking into another....I hid but later his mother came & was yelling something at me...so S got to know we are there and his bro too.. I greeted his bro terribly embarassed and then I remember that all of us were jumping above the fence and running away to the foggy night.

I DON'T GET THIS DREAM. :P

Lemme check it out at DreamMoods.conm....until then - bye! ^_^

Back From Egypt/Busy Life/Obligatory New Year's Resolutions

WHEEEEEEE!!!!!!
I AM BACK! ^_^

And once I find out how to resize the pics without Photoshop (which doesn't work & I can't neither reinstall it nor repair ir, WTP), I'll post some of them here, I promise! :)
Until then, please, survive just my quacking.

Few facts I've learnt about Egypt while I was there:

• The MEN are dick-using idiots annoying, bothering & verbally sexually harassing everyone & women the most, of course (even the veiled ones! WTP!!!!!).
  
  "Hey, sweety!"
  "U r very beautiful!"
  "U have time? Just a second! One minute! One minute, please!"
  "Hello! Where r u from? Slovakia? Ahoooj, si velmi krasna!"
  
  ...and etc... =_=
  
  
• The RUSSIANS looooove NY's Eve in Egypt. There were like million of them at our hotel, and so, the 1st thing I heard few mins after midnight in the year 2007 was the Russian anthem which was sung by our lovely, drunk Russian guests. Hahaha, yes!!! XD
  
  And the best thing was, after the 'celebration' at the hotel we went to our room...there my mother & grandma switched on the (Russian!) TV and so it happened that I've heard the Russian athem AGAIN that night.
  
  And then?
  
  VLADIMIR PUTIN'S NEW YEAR'S SPEECH TO THE NATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  
  *dies*
  
  
• I LOVE Arabic writing! *_* It's so beautiful, it has the same kind of beauty like, for example, Korean or Tamil. It's just..different. It seems like an art to me actually. :)
  
  
• I LOVE Islamic architecture. It's simply beautiful! ^^
  
  
• The Red Sea is wonderfully TURQUISE. Mmmm. I'll show you the pics once I somehow resize them. :P
  
  
• I CAN live without make-up but I CAN'T live without the books. Oh, seems like I'm not that big of an ah lian afterall. :P Good, good! :P
  
  
• I definately wanna LIVE in a warm country. Not in Egypt, of course (there not even burqa would spare me the annoying) but...ok...I'm annoying with this liao....in Singapore or Malaysia. :P ^^
  
  
• Cannot tahan life in such a dry, windy country. @_@ Even though it's PRETTY there.
  
  
• I HATE AzurReisen. I don't give a shit about how I'm gonna damage their name now or whatever - THEY SUCK A FUCKING BIG DEAL!!!!!! >_< After arrival on the Hurghada Intl. Airport we all got on a bus happily thinking that within an hour we surely will be lazying around in our rooms.
  HA!
  Actually we were cruising the tiny Hurghada for unbelievable 4,5 HOURS. That's longer than the flight itself which is 3,45h long!!! AAARGGH!!!!!
  
  As if it wasn't enough, the departure flight was scheduled at Jan 3rd, 5.15am. We had to get up at 2am (no kidding) and be at the reception desk at 2.15am where the bus would come and take us to the airport.
  
  So we all did as we were told, but....
  
  ...it was 3am and NOBODY COMING. So a friend called the fucking bitch rep (he called her! if he didn't, we would never know cuz she didn't give a damn!!!) and she said that OUR FLIGHT HAS BEEN DELAYED & SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHEN WILL WE FLY. So it could be anytime!
  Later the friend called her again and got to know that the flight will be on Jan 4th, 5.15am again.
  
  You can't imagine how tired am I after two almost sleepless nights! @_@
  
  Fuck SkyEurope too, I love it when they play around with flights. Aaaargghh.
  
  

OK.

Aiyah, I was stupid not to take notepad & pen/pencil/giocondas to there...I was like, soooo bored there. =_= At least thank god for that cam cuz at least taking pics was consuming my time.

Well, now I have exactly 25 days for 20~30 paintings/drawings which are required for the VSVU entrance exams....omg...I must start to work but tha won't be *today* cuz my eyes are soo itchy...cannot tahan. -_-

Actually, I'll have a very VERY busy schedule now:

January: 20~30 paintings/drawings, VSVU entrance exams, get a new EU passport!!!!
February: TOEFL exam
March: study for maturita + draw/paint
April: study for maturita + draw/paint
May: MATURITA + draw/paint
June: portfolio for Cenfad + have the maturita report card translated into English & verified & blahblah
July: submit the application for Cenfad (or submit it when it has to be submitted; I dunno if there's a date for that)
.
.
.
September: if I get accepted, FLYYYYYYYYY to KL! ^_^

Today I read in the plane that FEAR STANDS BETWEEN OUR DREAMS. The article said that we must overcome our fears because our dreams are important...and if we fear something, it's a hindrance barring us from pursuing our dreams.
My case; I'm actually pretty scared of living totally on my own in KL - I'm scared I won't make it or something.....but I know that I must OVERCOME IT & GO FOR IT, cuz I know that *that* is wat I wanna..uni in KL.

Same with laser eye operation. I'm totally, horribly scared of it, but what else can I do, with -7 & -7,5 dioptries? -_- T_T


BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH, you all must be tired from my blahblahblahblahblahing already. *yawn*


Lemme finish with the obligatory New Year's Resolutions:

1. I will DO MY BESTEST BEST to graduate & get into Cenfad!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. I will visit art exhibitions & generally WORK ON MYSELF
3. I WILL BE MYSELF, however big pain in the ass will I be then (hahaha)
4. I will go to bed BEFORE 11.45pm!!!!! <--- this will be hard....but I don't wanna have those eyebags anymore @_@
5. I will try hard to have this room TIDY O_o
6. I will take care of myself & be less influencable (?)!!!!!
   
   
   

Ha. That's it. ^^
I'll blog more when I recover from my post-flight weariness... *yawns*

PS.: ON THE LAST DAY A MALE CAT PEED AT ME!!!!!!!! WAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!! XD I HATE MALE CATS!!!!!!! THEM & THEIR STUPID TERRITORY MARKS!!!!! I SMELLED LIKE FUCK!!!!!!!! XD *eeewwww*

PPS: Thank you, MUNIE, BAIBEE & RAY for your Xmas cards & gifts! I love them all!!! ^___^

Memories From Singapore











I've just found this photo - the only one from Singapore I've got - of me & Manis in the Singaporean ZOO! ^_^
Waaah, I remember it as if it was just yesterday... *sigh*

I MISS YOU, HUBOOBY & MANIS!!!!

*Irrelevantly, Picasa rulez. I've just downloaded it & I can't say anything wrong about it! :) Well, except of the fact that, even though, there's a Blogger "Blog This!" feature, I dunno how to actually blog it. :P Either me or them are bodoh.*


Singapore, Singapore.

When will I go there again...? O_o ._.





Tomorrow we're off to HURGHADA, EGYPT!!!!!!! ^__^
Sun, sand, sea, palm trees, all inclusive hotel & perv Egyptians who will all want to "fuck me ok u sexy ladi ok ur boobs so soft ok I wana kyss all nihgt long ok u sweet sweet baibee ok luv me, u wana mery me?"
XD ALAMAK! XD


Why do I keep analyzing my ex-r'ship suddenly?
I shouldn't have gotten into contact with ex-bf, now I'm thinking too much. >_< Must slap mai sexy butt ok.

Close To A Cardiac Arrest & Xiaxue Issues

Whohohooo!!!!

For the past two days I've been e-mailing with Raymond's Dad and behold....Raymond himself emailed to me today!!!! *dies of cardiac arrest*

If I weren't that lazy and if my PC wasn't this slow, I would've logged into my email & pasted his email to here. But under the given circumstances (ie my lazy self & my slow PC) I won't do so. Teheheeee. Tomorrow, maybe!

Still, pretty shocking. @_@
His email was pretty indifferent & I could see that the poor boy doesn't really know what to write to his evil ex-gf. Poor emotionally constipated boy, someone help him out! :)

I offered him friendship & peace cuz I wanna have this K-drama situation solved at last; I don't like issues that drag along like diarrhoea. :P



Today, me & hubooby were bitching over Xiaxue.
I bitch at her, yet I still read her blog? Makes no sense! Erm well, it does, because I admit that bitching at successful, beautiful people makes my evil twin with no self-confidence happier.

Ain't I pathetic?! =_=

But geez, I wish I had that good (but not that photoshopped good) looks too! I wish I had those Photoshop skills! That success! Those freebies! Wah!!!

Even me, a disliker of pink ah lians with fake hair must admit that she DOES look fabolous:

A bit too fake, I know, actually TOO FAKE according to me, but if she likes it, then what? Nothing! ^^ Let her do what she wants!

I see fabolous chicks like her when hostessing here or there; they always make me feel so ugly & embarrassing and I always end up mumbling under my breath The Mantra Of Those Situations:

"Beauty isn't everything. It's not everlasting. It's subjective. It's
superficial. It costs a lot. It's more important INSIDE than OUTSIDE."

But WTF!
Imagine yourself standing next to a hostess with legs 5x longer than your body, long shiny hair, radiant complexion, perfect manicure & long, curled eyelashes (compared to the short, straight Korean ones of mine) & an IQ too! WAH!!! That's like, TOO MUCH!!!!!! *bangs head*

Luckily (and sadly too), there haven't been any events to attend recently what's pretty sad, in terms of money & pretty good, in terms of my self-confidence. :P


A Q for the end:

DO GUYS PREFER HOT CHICKS OR NATURALLY PRETTY
DUCKIES?

Kindly reply, whatever your preference is. ^^

Christmas Time & The Breath Of Past

Thanks a lot, all of you, who've sent me Christmas SMSes & the gifts. :)
BIG HUGZZZ TO YOU ALL! ^^

I got a CAM!!!! YEAH!!!! A CAM!!!!! ^__^ It's not *the one* I've wished for (a more profi one with manual control of as many things as possible), in fact, it's the very opposite of that, but it's a CAM!!!! *___*
Olympus FE-200, 6 MPX, 5x optical zoom, yadda yadda! ^__^
Daddy, thanks a lot! ^^

Also I got two books, one about the process of making layouts called "Design Secrets: Layout" by Rodney J. Moore and the other one about contemporary art. Oh, and a dead sea mask & dead sea salt for bath and inhalation.
Not many gifts but nice ones! ^_^

Madre loved both the Shiseido cream eyeshadow & the stylish bag....and father liked those freaky polar bear boxers. Wah. I'm happy. :)

2am liao? OMP.

I got two e-mails from my ex-boyfriend's father in the name of the whole family!!!!
O_o
They are wishing us all merry Christmas & a Happy New Year.....so nice of them to remember us. :) Ray's mom misses me...well, so do I, she's da best....and I miss them all, actually...even Raymond - in a certain weird way. :P
I also got an SMS from Teresa (ex's sister) wishing me the same....thanks a lot, babe.. :)

A breath of past indeed. At least for me... Long gone are the days when I'd sit religiously in front of the PC talking to Ray....now I'm maybe even a different person liao. Dunno. O_o

I was thinking about myself & I've realized that I'm way too cynical & tired of life for my age. Sigh. I must take up a different attitude towards life, unless I wanna feel like 70 year old when celebrating my thirties! =_=

Aiyah.

I'll reply to the email tomorrow (well, technically it is tomorrow already, but you know what I mean) because now I'm too sleepy for writing something coherent. :P




Christmasy feelings?
Still got none. =_=
I don't know what's with me this year. Everything is upside down & everything's weird!

Soon 2007 is here and that's gonna be hell of a tough & important year; if things don't work out, I'll be in a DEEP STINKY SHIT so please, whatever your religion or the lack of it, PRAY FOR ME!!!!! *___*


Mmmm, Let It Snow on the radio. ^^ Love that song! ^^

Hm. I think I should end this incoherent, pointless post. It's 2.19am I have a strong feeling of being lost in this world and I'm thinking about the upcoming year and its challenges.
Scary. And exciting.

Life's an adrenaline sport, isn't it?

You either know the rules and behave according to them & then you're relatively safe.....or you break them and you hurt yourself or die.
:)

It's Supposed To Be Christmas Tomorrow

Christmas? What Christmas?
Sleighs rolling, snowflakes caressing my frozen cheeks? Elks? The awful commercial Santa Claus with his idiotic red cap? Carp & potatoe mayonnaise salad? Family reunions & the overwhelming peace & love?

Oh, go to hell with it.

My father will celebrate Christmas separately from us cuz he's pissed off at madre being pissed off at him for being fired. Oh, men are logical beings...erm, that was just sarcasm here.
So what family reunion? Tsk.
I'll go to father's tomorrow to pick up the gift from him & to give him mine.

I SMSed my brother today wishing him merry Christmas & a happy New Year and he had only bothered to reply me like 6 hours later.

There's no snow outside, it's just awfully cold & I hate it.
Oh, byt there are HEAPS of SAnta Claus everywhere & the carols are playing 24/7.........I must confess I HATE IT.

I AM TIRED OF LIFE.


But know what??? :)

I've already gotten one Christmas gift! An unexpected one actually!!!! :D

I saw S yesterday in the downtown with a bunch of his friends. It was pretty weird actually, whole that happening cuz we (our gang) was walking around the whole downtown desperately seeking a bar with places to sit for 7 people; we've started from point A, walked for almost and hour and returned to the A and discussed the options.
We were standing there & then I got bored and went to check out the menu of the nearby posh restaurant (they have pak choi!!!! OMD!!!!! I WANNAAAA!!!) and, just the minute when I've returned, the former 4 graders with S among them were walking down the street...towards us, to the nearby pub we were standing by. O_o

Sigh.
The nostalgy..... *_*

Surprisingly, in my heart I felt nothing when looking at him...nothing....just a nostalgy and an awe because he's handsome and cute as ever.

It seems like I've moved on.

Isn't that kind of sad?
I liked the feeling of liking someone...I got used to it after those years..and now I feel nothing when looking at him. ._. So weird.
On the other hand (am I schizo?), if you'd ask me whom I'd pick up as a boyfriend if I could pick up anyone, it'd be S. Maybe it's cuz I'm just so used to myself liking him but really...I can't imagine anyone else than him at the moment. And yet, I feel nothing when looking at him, just that nostalgy & an awe.

Decode me, please. -_-

When their gang was coming to ours, we looked at each other - in the eyes actually, for a split of second - and that was it. Then someone called him, he picked up his cellphone and talked for a while in front of the pub (he has an adorable laughter) and then...he went in.

I walked away deep in thought and unable to concentrate for the rest of the evening....from time to time I was saying things like, "His lips are gorgeous, mmm.." but I think I was just trying to trick myself into thinking that I still like him, even though I don't...apparently.
Waaaah. @_@


Well, many weird things happened yesterday apart from seeing S and feeling nothing.
There was this hot foreigner at the Xmas market with whom I had this lil' innocent flirt and then...I left. Who knows, maybe if I hadn't left, I'd have had a boyfriend by now.

Not that I'd want *him*. As I said, the only guy I can imagine being my bf is S. WTP.

Then there was this *other* guy sooo much trying to flirt with me...but with no success. Weed-affected, drunk testosterone packages ain't my stuff. *yuck* @_#

Also we've almost went to Laaaverna club, one hip-hop club in BA....

And in the morning we had Xmas market in the school & we had a Tropique bar with fake, awful mojito virgin, fruit (canned fruit) salad, juices and whatever. Yaaay, so fun. :)



Oh, I'm sooo tired.
Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year, duckies! ^__^

Is My Mess Connected With The Mess?

Don't understand the Q?

Lemme explain.

I've been thinking whether my mess in the room isn't connected with all the shitty things happening these days. You know, like when 风水 says that with one's mess coping around the negative qi copes too....and affects all the life areas, thus leading to one's personal mess in life.

Tiding up my room is INEVTITABLE now.

I'm gonna test out the teachings of 风水 and see whether clean surroundings with the qi flowing in & out naturally also leads to a happier life!

With what shall I start?

The desk I think.
Then the floor.
The the dustbin.
Then I'm gonna shower the plants.
And then I'm gonna clean my Inbox cuz my virtual life must be clean too!

GOOD LUCK TO ME.
And good luck to Munie having her finals too!!!

Sleepy & Skipping

I'm just talking to Manis (I'm finally at MSN) and we're both single, tired of life and its school/job and wanting a change we can't allow to come cuz she has to suffer in her job for a certain time in order to have better position later, by finding another job; I, in the last grade, just can't quit the school and leave and forget university.

I have to remind myself often, that NO GRADUATION = NO UNIVERSITY.

Fuck, but I oh so wish I could just quit this suffering.....

Today I woke up an hour late cuz the night before I went to bed at 1am and fell asleep at 1.40am...my nose started to bleed and mother suggested my staying at home. And so I did, instead of coming to school late, again. I called the doc so she could give me that stupid stamp to the list of absence but she refused, saying that I have to have a reason for visiting the doc.
I'm so pleased. -_-

Blaaahhh.

Like the right ah lian I did my manicure (the pedicure is awaiting me) and then examined my ugly irritated, damaged complexion (my nose is AWFUL), irritated & damaged it some more and then took up reading the Brunette's Diary at Lesk.sk, the portal for women.
I'm like a REAL ah lian liao, really, soon I'm gonna get hair extensions, gel nails & fake eyelashes....and then hallelujah! Haha!

*But actually I totally love those eyelash extensions which Xiaxue has*


OMH, this PC is so slow... I wanna throw it out!!!! @_@

The pedi now. And I'm gonna continue with reading Lesk.sk, it's stupidly soothing. Aaaaah. ^^
Shitty, shitty life!

Being Harry Potter II

Such a LOVELY day.

Got caught at Geo test with a cheatsheet - not just a regular cheatsheet buit with one with ANSWERS for the test we were just writing!!!!!!
The prof took my cheatsheet and in case she reads it, I'm in a fuckin deep shit.



My father got fired from his work cuz of ALCOHOL; I dunno WTF he had been doing the last Saturday, but after that he got fired with the words that he's fucking up the good name of the company he's working for.

Now he can't pay the Egypt vacation (Dec 28 ~ Jan 3), we have to take another person & grandma with invalid passport is going, but before she has to have her new EU passport issued.....complications, complications.....



The only good thing of today is, that UJ woke up & we have PEACE. Finally! In fact, just now we've had a nice, long chat about this shitty fucked up life. :)

Oh, and another good thing....I drew a good portrait at the art course, only it was a bit bigger, it wasn't exactly the 1:1 ratio; it had that "movement", what the impressionists were trying to catch, though.


OK.
It's almost 12.30am, off I go to wash my hair.....FUCK THIS LIFE.

I DON'T WANNA ATTRACT PROBLEMS ANYMORE!!!!! TT____TT

A Day In Vienna With UJ & His 'Harem'

...to where I also belong. Hehehe, oh, such an honor, I think I'm gonna melt. XD

This entry's gonna be short, you must understand my exhaustion; yesterday after a lil party in the downtown with friends I came home shortly before the midnight, I couldn't fall asleep until 1.30am, I had to wake up at 7.15am, be at the railway station at 9.15am (I came 8.55am of course, I'm always too early), the train was departing at 9.40am and then..... We were walking, walking, shopping, shopping, walking, walking...between those mad thousands of people in the street buying Xmas gifts.....and I came home at 9.45pm.
MORE THAN TWELVE HOURS OF BEING ACTIVE. @_@

Let me sum up the day as much as I can!

The highlights:

• the DAMN PERFECT Friis & Company bag I bought to madre as an Xmas gift - it's so beautiful, if she won't like it, I think I'll change my identity and move away from Slovakia with a forever broken heart!!!! *__* ^^''''
  I loove that brand, they have perfect stuff. ^^
  
  
• the Vero Moda RED V-NECK TOP with that V-nech being reaaaally low, the top being as long as minidress and with its all concept being as stylish as OMFD!!!! *shiny eyes* ^_^
  
  
• the VIOLET SCARF by Promod I bought to my grandma - it's totally gonna fit her!!!
  
  
• the VANILLA - FOREST FRUIT pancake I had at the Schönnbrun Xmas market ^_^
  
  
• the ENDLESS HOURS OF LAUGHTER we've had - thanx!!! ^__^
  
  
• the GUYS!!!!!! --------> *eyes start to shine*
  
  
  I saw one hot Asian guy at the -1 level of Peek & Cloppenburg, OMFGDBPGFHJF!!!!!! *____* He was PERFECT, I swear. *love in eyes* Tall with broad shoulders, messy shiny black hair, radiant skin (not like mine now, fuck it), sparkling, beautiful eyes, wonderful smile, aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  If God exists, then I don't like Him, cuz The Guy only glanced at me (while I was staring at him mesmerized, hahaha) and nothong happened. *sigh sigh* I swear I'd melt into a puddle of a glittery duckwater (don't ask :P) if he had told me anything, even "Oh, you need M from this purple colored pullover?" (he was the staff)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *__*
  CANNOT TAHAN.
  If I had a boyfriend like him, I'd probably be floating in the alpha level all the time. XD
  
  Then there was one another who, I think, was an E. T. cuz it's just humanly impossible to be THAT HOT. Darker blonde hair covering half of his face (bishounen style), dark grey-blue eyes, tall, lanky, broad shouders, bright blue polo t-shirt, dark brown V-neck (yes, my golfistas!!! :D), beautiful hands. OMFG!!!! *_* *_* *_*
  
  Still, if I had to choose (fuck, I mean, if I COULD even think of choosing..!), I'd choose the Asian guy cuz he was the prototype of The Guy. *_*
  
  
• the SPAGHETTI FRUTTI DI MARE at this weird, crappy restaurant where they think that fruit salad = canned fruit!!!! :D
  
  
• the NEW FRIENDS I made from 2B ^^
  
  

The darklights:
(highlights - darklights, geddit?! Hahahaaa, I'm so creative!)

• UJ & HIS IDIOTIC BEHAVIOUR TO ME.
  *takes a deep breath before a huge rant*
  
  He must REALLY think my only purpose in this world is to be there for him just like his parents, his iPod, his cellphone & his chewing gums.
  FUCKIN' ASSHOLE!!!!!!!
  As if it wasn't enough that on Friday I, again, had apparently too much time and agreed on going to check out some Motocentre & Applecentre somewhere in the whatever street in BA. NO ONE else but me would agree on such a stupidity and he, with his "independance" would never go alone so WTF.
  One would think he'd be thankful but fuck, he wasn't. And apart from him being dependant, spoiled, empty & pseudo-snobby, he also ain't emphatic & he can't listen.
  *fumes*
  
  The typical Friday's conversation of me & UJ:
  
  UJ: *eyes shining like those of my boy cousin when he was 6 years old*
  "And then I saw *this car*, and *that car* and *that car* and *that car* and OMG, today I see nothing interesting here, not like yesterday, aaah..!"
  Me: *reacts to his cars & then, after a pause with UJ being quiet says something else* "...I wonder how it's gonna be in that Egypt we're going to...I hope we'll visit the pyramides in Giza too!"
  UJ: *TOTALLY IGNORES WHAT I'VE JUST SAID* "...and *that car*, OMG!!!!!"
  
  I wouldn't mind that happening from time to time, but what that fucking happens all the time... I felt like I'm either gonna turn on the spot & leave or kick his dick.
  Respect? Like, what's that, dude?!
  AARRGGHH.
  
  And today. Today in Vienna, OMD.
  I've realized one thing. I'm too good for my own fucking good & too benevolent too, so this weak, spoiled, dependant ass likes to take advantage of me.
  
  Who is supposed (rarely is asked) to help him out by choosing his ugly long-sleeved, tight Hilfiger/G-Star/whatever t-shirts? Yeah, ME.
  Like, can I fucking go check out my own stuff?!
  Of course, I don't give a flying fuck & I go check out my own stuff, but WTF, what kinda attitude is that!?
  Actually he told me I pissed him off last time in Vienna, cuz I wasn't advising him by his buys!!!!
  Oh, THANX A LOT FOR YOUR FAITH IN MY TASTE but may I mention that your parents (who bought nothing for themselves) were giving you advices & choosing clothes for you for all the 3 hours or so?!
  I think 2 people are more than enough for this business, plus, the more intelligent & independant of us, like me, need no one to shopping but themselves. -_~
  
  Also, I'm his EGO BOOSTER.
  He just sooooooo loves to bring me down.
  I'm stupid. I'm ugly. I'm mad. I'm insane. I'm idiotic.
  Today I yelled at him at the Vienna underground that he's a dick cuz I just couldn't take it anymore...
  
  UJ: "Mich, hand me that pape from my bag, please."
  Me: "Which paper? This one?"
  UJ: "The paper."
  Me: "This paper?" *hands him the fahrkarte, i. e. the busticket*
  UJ: "That paper...like *that* paper!"
  Me: "Not this one? *puts the ticket back* You've got 2 papers here!"
  UJ: "That paper, OMG! The ticket!"
  Me: *loses nerves & yells* "I've been handing it to you 3 mins ago you dick!!!!!!!"
  UJ: "Oh, you stupid bitch!"
  
  CANNOT TAHAN.
  
  And the best thing - which is actually totally amusing me - is that whenever I salivate at some guys, it irritates him. Hahahahaha!!!!! XD XD XD I think he is jealous, cuz his personal belonging (me) salivates at other guys than him (who'd salivate at him though, hm?). XD WTP!!!! XD XD XD
  
  Me: *hearts in eyes, stares at The Guy* OMG, I loooove him, he's so...hot...cute..adorable....those eyes.....ooohhh...... I'm in love!!!! *_*"
  UJ: "Oh Jesus Christ, Mich, you're so stupid, shut up finally!!!!"
  
  
  
  One day when he'll grow up...he'll maybe be a good guy, but now..... CANNOT TAHAN. Girls, if you ever come to BA & meet him, please, have nothing to do with him, he's still psychically at a level of a 4 years old mommy's sweetheart. XD
  
  
• My COMPLEXION.
  I haven't had this kinda AWFUL complexion for million years already. Shiiiit!!!! KNN! TT_____TT I think it's cuz of all that stress, lack of sleep (and again, it's 1.14am, FUCK, I MUST GO TO BED RIGHT NOW!!!!) & the winter.
  
  I WANNA BE IN KUALA LUMPUR OR IN SINGAPORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! T____T
  

1.14am! Sorry to end it so abruptly, but really, I'm ugly enough not to make it worse by sleeping little even during the weekends. @_@

Have I said I am ugly???

Oh, Mich, don't listen to UJ, please!!!!


I am CANTIK, CANTIK, CANTIK!!!! And with the help of make-up I look even better. ^_~
You. Must. Only. Agree. With. Me. Cuz. I. Have. No. Self-Confidence. These. Days!!!!!!



Good night!!!! ^__^

Cantik Pic

Just DARE to say my eyes aren't BEAUTIFUL & MESMERIZING and I'm never gonna quack to you again!!!!! :D Yup, tha was my prom make-up. ^_^ Perfect, wasn't it? My hair was also curled (permed?) and I looked like some classical Hollywood star...Rita Hayworth or Marilyn...and in that red satin dress & those silver sparkling heels...MMMM...I fell in love with MYSELF! :D

This layout rocks ducks.

And that SEAN PAUL wasn't bad either!!!! :D
We were dancing & singing & screaming & (yes, even that) yawning and my throat still hurts & my eyes are still itchy...or actually, even more, cuz it;s 12.32am and I'm siaaaaaaan..... =_=

GOOD NIGHT!!! ^_^


P.S.: Xiaxue did a nose-job? *faints* O_o Whohohooo! :D Well, I think one day I might undergo a boob job so....quack on, Xiaxue! ^^v

Playing With The Template

HA! I like this! I can edit it all I wanna! :D Shame that nothing's good for me. =_= :P This poopy brown sucks, lemme change it again! :P

Being Harry Potter

(*Credits*)

I was at the Headmistress' today cuz I dared to SMS my mom during the Literature class. Oh, may I suggest sending me to the jail next time I do something in the school, like, breathe?

=_=
It IS against the school rules, but fuck, no one was ever sent to the Headmistress for that before! Well, except for me. Such an honor.



My life reminds me of Harry Potter's life. He's also the kind of person who attracts problems even though he's doing nothing at all. Well, and sometimes because he's doing nothing at all!



EVERYTHING I DO IS WRONG.
Heck, EVERYTHING I DON'T DO IS ALSO WRONG!



This academic year has been a big, stinky piece of shit so far and I've only had problems.

Thank God Ivor has found his character and told the Maths prof the truth about that 'cheating' because now she (hopefully) no longer thinks I'm a cheater bitch.



Btw, even despite of my mad tuition 2 weekends ago, I got just 32% from the test, it was full of stupid errors and all in all, I AM STUPID & BRAINLESS.

I've passed the flunking border by 0,7% - I have 30,7% in total - which is really admirable, yes, I think I'm off to Cambridge, they might need a genius like me.. =_=

I AM NOT SATISFIED WITH MYSELF.

Who would be, right? Yes, nobody is too, I can see it at all these fucking problems, it's like, I almost expect being kicked out from the school next time I go to the cafeteria and buy a cake or something.



Where has my self-confidence gone??? I've never had a lot of it - there are no reasons for having it, let's be fair - but this year it has gone away to Tahiti for a holiday or what; otherways I can't explain these intense feelings of myself being a piece of crap.



I'm realizing that I'm truly NOBODY in this world. I have no special talent (a tiny one for painting maybe), no respect, no good looks, no money (this is relative though; but I'm for sure poor compared to Paris Hilton, haha) and what's the worse, no intelligence. FUCK!





{You must put up with my rants, this is the only place where I can rant all I wanna and no one's gonna kick my ass for that as it would be otherways. Here I can only lose some readers but because maybe 0,000056 duckies read my blog, I have nothing tio lose, literally! :P}



I'm also sick. Got sore throat and my eyes are itchy & sensitive.... I'm about to eat two Panadol Grips, hopefully it helps. -_-
It HAS to help...cuz tonight at 8pm I'm off to Sean Paul's concert!!!!!! :D :D :D



It's gonna be so fun.... And it's gonna be so SUMMER-Y!!!!!! *___* ^______^ I like Sean Paul's music, it's so rhytmic and totally hip. Ha! I'm going with Ali & DD and we're gonna dance the night awaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy!!!!! ^____^
I'm now listening to his "Trinity" album so I'll know the songs for sure, Hehe. :P

*the ah lian wakes up & glitters feathers*
What am I gonna wear?!
I'm going to Sean Paul so I should wear golden G-string bikini & 15cm golden stilettoes hahahahhahahahhaaaaaaaa, OMD, imagine *ME* wearing that!!!!! O_o @_#
*pukes & dies in horror*
I guess I'll stick to that polka dot minidress (or maxi-tank-top?), it looks stylish. Heheee. Then I'm gonna experiment with make-up and create sexaaaaiii smokey eyes...
OK, set! :)

Oh. I think I'm hungry. =_= Byebye sayangs, I'm going to investigate what's in the kitchen! :)



Listening to: "Give It Up To Me" by Sean Paul
Yay!: Looking forward to the concert! Yay! ^^
Grrr: My skin's awful, I'm constantly sleep-deprived, I have dark eyebags and I AM FUCKING BROKE.

Identity Probooblems

I have a strong urge to stop eating the bread 4x a day, forget the cheese, kick away all the potatoes and trade them for some sushi, dim sum & bulgogi. WTD.
It's not the matter of food though; I also have a strong urge to go buy tones of pencils with kawaiiiiiiiiiiiiiii manga animals, weep by sentimental Korean dramas, go take some AWFULLY CHEESILY DISGUSTING neoprint photos (I think that those neoprint photos can turn DISGUSTING once the person has no taste; please, for Duck's sake, forget all those glittery butterflies around one's head, the pinkish pink everypink and all those sparkling flowery frames!!!!! *eyes full of horror* Its driving me MAD!!!!! @_#) and go get my straight, boring, short Korean eyelashes extended a la Xiaxue.

Ah lian?

Yes, and with IDENTITY PROBOOBLEMS somemore!!!! *slaps head*

Must be that 1/4 Korean in me salivating for all the things mentioned above.

Oh, I've forgotten The Boyfriend!!! HOW DO I DARE?! @_@ XD
My 1/4 is salivating for a tall Asian architect/designer with broad shoulders, beautiful scent (guys, Jil Sander Pure For Men is THE BEST PERFUME FOR MEN EVER!!!!!), messy hair, IQ & EQ, sense of humour and.....
Oh, okay, I'll shut up, no one's up to my fantasies anyways. :P ._.

Since I was in the REAL Asia (SEA 2005) I keep having the incurable urges to fly away to Asia and live there cuz my 1/4 is squealing that "it has felt sooo hoooome there" and "it misses the whatever mee for breakfast" and "it wants the Asian cosmetics - *aaaah, Shu Uemura* - back" and "WHY THERE IS NO PAK CHOI HERE???!!!!" and so on.

Annoying 1/4, I tell ya. @_@

However, my Slovak 3/4 kinda agrees with my 1/4. My Slovak-ness (if I can create a new, absurd word) loves Bratislava, loves Slovakia, loves Slovak language (seriously, it's one of the most beautiful languages ever; I love its melody and the vocab full of lovely words! ^^) but still feels like SOMETHING'S MISSING HERE.

WTP. Must be that Asian flavour or what....now, where's my Kikkoman?!
Hahahahaaaa, okay, that was lame. :P

But seriously, do you know that kind of feeling that something's missing in your life and you can't put your finger on it but you KNOW that something just ain't right?
I'm sure you do. And that's my probooblem! @_@
It makes me look very hobbit-like (cuz if you remember, hobbits love to eat) but I feel this lack of that *Asian flavour* when I'm about to breakfast.
HAHA!
No quacking!
Imagine the average European, ang moh's life which hunky Asians admire so much.

In the morning: BREAD + BUTTER + WHATEVER or YOGHURT or err...FRIED EGGS?
Morning's snack: BREAD + BUTTER + WHATEVER or TWIX (and its friends) or an APPLE
Lunch: MEAT + POTATOES or PASTA or PIZZA or McD or STEAK or....???
Afternoon's snack: Usually the same as the MORNING's one =_=
Dinner: The same as LUNCH

All so heavy. -_- WHERE ARE MY YUMMY ASIAN MEALS??!!! *cries* TT____TT I'll tell ya, I AM SICK OF BREAD. When I was in KL I didn't eat the bread for two months and didn't miss it at all.

Alright, alright.
I should MOVE ON, the KL times are over for duck's sake but those were the best times in my life so far, OK?! :P

Back to my identity probooblems.
You know what I loved at the shops in SEA?
Those stupidities with kawaiii little details they were selling over there.
Like those kawaiiiiiiiiiii shoelaces I bought somewhere at Orchard Rd with Manis! *_* Or those silly lil' cellphone bags (or WTD) I also bought in S'pore; I just couldn't resist it. Or I loved those heeled sandals with sweet & chic details and the sexy heel of a normal height. You won't get such a thing HERE. Here everyone wears awful, boring black/brown/beige leather shoes which are hideous. =_=
Anyways la.
My point is, HERE you won't get SUCH THINGS. And I miss it!!!!! T_T

Just as I miss the food, I also miss the kawaii stupidities with stupid details & stupid lil' patterns. Aaaah. I also miss the cosmetics (with wonderful packaging designs btw) and the people.

My 1/4 is feeling very very confused and sad these days because it has talked to my 3/4 and now The Whole Me realizes that it belongs neither to Europe nor to Asia!
WHAT TO DO ARR??!!!
MOVE TO URAL?! O_o :P

Really, what should I do? How to solve myself?!


Have you ever got such problems? O_o









P.S.: Heeey, Audrey! ^^ Thanks for reading my blog! ^^ I think it's kind of a crap, but thanks for thinking otherwise! :D

P.P.S.: I bought a hydro cream shimmery eyeshadow by Shiseido to mi madre! It cost me 920Sk, but waahh, it rocks ducks. :) I hope she's gonna like such a Xmas gift :)

The Winter's Self-Made Meme (Cuz There's Little To Write Today!)

FAV WINTER SONG: "Last Christmas" by Wham! I keep listening to it all day long, like 50 times a day and soon I'll be able to sing the lyrics even in coma. Hah!

FAV WINTER FOOD: "Loksha", a potato pancake, the best one is with fois gras & cabbage filling. Yummm. ^^

FAV WINTER DRINK: Black tea with honey. ^^

FAV WINTER ACTIVITY: Sleeping, I'm a bear in my heart. And I can't ski. Nor snowboard. Sigh.

FAV WINTER PIECE OF CLOTHING: I wish I had *that* Hilfiger coat! *That* would be my fav piece of clothing. *_* ^^'''

FAV WINTER COSMETICS: Super oily nurturing cream for super dry & sensitive skin.

FAV WINTER PLACE: Erm, can I say French Polynesia? XD Oh, okay....or...Bratislava! :) You have to see our Xmas markets to understand!

FAV COMPLAINT: "I hate winteeeeeeer!!!"

FAV THING AT WINTER: It comes spring after it. :P Seriously. :P

FAV WINTER-THEMED DRAMA: Winter Sonata!!!!!! *__*

FAV WINTER TIME: The Christmas Eve and the New Year's Eve, Oh well, I'm not a Christian, but I like it! :)

CHRISTMAS WISHLIST:

• a good camera!!!!!
• a coat? or nope?
• CENFAD CENFAD CENFAD CENFAD....in the future

FAV WINTER ANIMAL: Elk & reindeer!!!!!! :D

FSV THING TO DO *RIGHT NOW*: Finish "Last Christmas" and then go to bed. Lazy to continue with this stupid meme liao.....and it's 11.30pm liao!!! Must go sleep. :)

Sunday, Spa & Two Essays To Write



I apoopologize for my oh-fuck-this-fucking-life entry from Friday (or Saturday? Dunno~)...I'm feeling more relaxed now...well, who wouldn't, right, after the thermal water Mirror Pool (as it's called) and the following aromatherapeutic massage; right? :)
Oh, and baibee....thanks for your support. ^___^ AI LAAV JUU!!!! *HUGZZZ*



I aim to watch Titanic tonight at 8.05pm but sadly, I still have to edit my presentation for the Society Studies and I still have to write two essays for the TOEFL prep course. Sigh sigh. Well, maybe there are more things to do; it's only that I haven't checked out my notes yet!



ONCE THE HIGH SCHOOL'S OVER, I'M GONNA RUN AROUND BRATISLAVA IN MY (most probably fake) TOMMY HILFIGER THONG, SING ALOUD, THROW CONFETTI AND ROSE PETALS AROUND AND HUG EVERYONE.



And if I get to KL....then....I dunno. O_O *empty blissful stare*
I think I'm gonna bursts into tears or just simply faint and after I get my consciousness back, I'l probably stand up & French kiss EVERYONE, including that dickhead Ivor, including UJ who's gonna faint then, including S what's gonna kill me and including Haku what's gonna be veeery yucky.
Hahahaha!!!!! :D



Know what ar, I think I damn fucking much deserve KL.



After all these shitty (when it comes to school itself) grammar school years, I think I damn fucking much derserve getting into a good & prestigious uni overseas in a country I totally like! You also agree with me, don't you? :P
Me needs LIFE WITHOUT MATHS. FULL OF ART. FULL OF ASIAN FOOD. FULL OF HOT WEATHER. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm~~~~~ *orgasmic sigh*



Oooh... on Friday I fell in love with FIVE guys at once!!! *_* :D XD


There's a street in BA leading to the Castle and there's this cozy, beautiful lounge bar where we (UJ, me & our two friends from 2B grade) went for the first time.

It was a nice, chilly evening and so we had ordered some tea (UJ had hot choc) and there we were sitting, chatting & sipping it slowly...

And then the first HOTTIE appeared.
Me & my 2B friend's eyes popped out and there we were staring at *him* breathlessly: Dark hair, tanned skin, dark eyes, dark blue V neck jumper, white polo t-shirt under it, jeans.....YUMMY.

We thought nothing can beat such a guy when TWO HOTTIES entered.

One, also dark-haired, tall, with broad shoulders in a stripey blue-white jumper in a long black coat...the other, dark blonde (or so) almost equally hot.

SHEEESH. *_*



And THEN...!!!!!!!

Other TWO HOTTEST HOTTIES EVER entered and proceeded to the table of these two hotties. Friend reunion apparently.
These two were too much for my weak heart; I almost died on the spot seeing them. :P
One of them was tall, broad shoulders, perfect skin, black short hair, black framed glasses (possessing that architectural look; know what I mean?)

(This is what I mean - these are the "arch style glasses" which Sung Si Kyung is wearing *ooooh, sooo adorableeeeeee wheeeee*)
Aaaahhh. *_*
When I saw him, my heart jumped 50kms up & down and I totally died!!!! :D

The other hottest hottie was wearing an orange casual t-shirt & whatever...he had glasses.....and he SO REMINDED ME OF S. *_* Maybe it even was S, I can't know... *sigh* I wish I knew who he was, he was really adorable....and S-like. :) ^___^

Oh, have I been lamenting here that "I AM OVER S"??? Well, let me rephrase that... I'm NOT over S....or over the image of him. :P

Haha!!! Know what ah! UJ actually MINDS when I swoon over some guys!!!! *dies giggling* That boy either loves me or doesn't love me and thinks he owns me. WTD hahaha. :D

***

I'm reading this kool blog; Chansaire; Pet Shop Girl! Check it out! ^_^

This PC is so slow, I have no nerves for it anymore...byebye! ^^

I wonder whether to cry or laugh at my pathetic self. =_= :P

Soar

When they push, when they pull, tell me, can you hold on?
When they say you should change, can you lift your head high and stay strong?
Will you give up, give in, when your heart's crying out that it's wrong?
Will you love you for you at the end of it all?

In life, there's gonna be times when you're feeling low
And in your mind, insecurities seems to take control
We start to look outside ourselves for acceptance and approval
We keep forgetting that the one thing we should know is

[CHORUS:]

Don't be scared to fly alone, find a path that is your own
Love will open every door it's in your hands, the world is yours
Don't hold back and always know all the answers will unfold
What are you waiting for, spread your wings and soar

The boy who wonders is he good enough for them
Keeps tryin' to please 'em all but he just never seems to fit in
Then there's the girl who thinks she'll never ever be good enough for him
Keeps tryin' to change and that's a game she'll never win

Now, in life, there's gonna be times when you're feeling low
And in your mind, insecurities seem to take control
We start to look outside ourselves for acceptance and approval
We keep forgetting that the one thing we should know is

[CHORUS]

In the mirror is where she comes face to face with her fears
Her own reflection now foreign to her after all these years
All of her life she has tried to be something besides herself
Now, time has passed and she's ended up someone else with regret
What is it in us that makes us feel the need to keep pretending?
Gotta let ourselves be

[CHORUS (2x)]

[SPOKEN:]

So, what're you waiting for?



That was Christina Aguilera's "Soar" from her "Stripped" album.
OMD. That sng's giving me so much strenght in these fucked up scholar times!!!! *_*

*hums*

Don't be scared to fly alone, find a path that is your own
Love will open every door it's in your hands, the world is yours
Don't hold back and always know all the answers will unfold
What are you waiting for, spread your wings and soar lalalaaaaaa.....

I AM OFF TO PN YET AGAIN FOR THE MATHS TUTORING.
Please, someone kill me.
Yesterday we wrote that test and Ivor asked me to turn over the paper with people's already finished tests of the group A (I was B) and stupid bitch me did so AND the professor saw me and started to yell at me like fuck and that dickhead Ivor was just LOOKING, BEING QUIET AND SAYING NOTHING FOR MY DEFENCE! And! After she ended her yelling speech, he tapped my shoulder and said "Sorry".

I HATE PEOPLE WITH NO CHARACTER.
I HATE THAT FUCKING CHICKEN DICKHEAD.
NOW IT'S ME HAVING PROBLEMS AGAIN FOR SOMETHING I DID FOR THAT FUCKER WHO WASN'T BRAVE EVEN FOR SAYING THAT IT'S ALL HIS FUCKING FAULT!!!!!!
If it was the other way round, I'd say that it was all cuz of me. Fucked up asshole Ivor, go lick your stinky balls you goddamned fucker.
The best thing is, my father when to the school to that prof the other day cuz I'm failing Maths & he wanted to discuss whatever - and few days after that THIS HAPPENED TO ME AND NOW I LOOK LIKE A COMPLETE BITCH IN FRONT OF EVERYONE.

I HATE THIS LIFE.

Now my mother came here, told me to pack my Maths notebook and when I told her that I have forgotten in at school, SHE STARTED YELLING ME THAT EVERYTHING I DO, IS WRONG!!!!!!!!

Please, lemme die, lemme just die, I can't fucking tahan this treatment, this attitude, this school, this life, these fucking society rules, this fucking cage I am in, I DON'T WANT TO LIVE LIKE THIS ANYFUCKINGMORE!!!!!!!


Off to that fucked up PN I go.
Byebye. I hope some truck's gonna run over me accidentally or I'm gonna jump under it!

2/5 Survived

3 more days to go! One concert tomorrow with the sadly un-talented Slovak singers. Heheh. One Maths test as well. Ughhhh. I still haven't revised anything, but it's not like I had any energy to do so....but I reaaly, really really should. Sigh. -_-

Just today I was talking with Ali on the fact that the way the society is determines our lifes too..well, more or less. We've agreed that people in SVK are seriously ignorant, not self-confident at all and always ready to lick asses (in the meaning of being fake & oh-so-empathetic just so they can get what they want once the person starts to like 'em).

Our school has changed into an institution where's you're virtually NOBODY if you don't wear at least Hilfiger. Or D & G. Or Versace? Oh, maybe Cavalli would do too. *shrugs*
Ain't that sickening?
OMD, when I'm a mother one day, I swear I won't buy any Versace to my spoiled, naughty adolescent kid. My duckness. VERSACE!

UJ's sickening me cuz he wears Hilfiger here & there all the time but his parents don't. Their clothes are like half cheaper than his but they buy him all these Hilfigers cuz....ehm, I dunno the reason actually. Too much love maybe. But he's so spoiled already! @_#
Please, girls in 2B grade, I know half of you has a secret crush on him, but REALLY - WAKE UP. He wouldn't be a good boyfriend for you. Trust me, if you've got brain, you'd kick his Hilfiger-clothed-ass in a week. ;)

It's also sickening me, how Kucci envies my 4000Skk worth of aliments each month. Yup, I've got 4000Skk/month but do I have a normal, complete family? No, I DON'T!!!!

Okay, what sickens me the most - on my sickening list - is that my life consists of two things:

• STRESS
• MATHS TUTORING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really, seriously feel that MY LIFE IS ABOUT NOTHING ELSE THAN THE FUCKED UP MATHS.
What do I do during EVERY FUCKING WEEKEND for the PAST FUCKING EIGHT YEARS??!!!!

C'mon, you've guessed it liao.

MATHS TUTORING. Piestany. YEAHHHH.

There were times when I was in PN literally every weekend. That was especially 2 yrs ago when I was struggling with Physics, Chemistry & Maths. Now I'm struggling just with Maths, but cuz I have no one to help me at the tests, I'm failing. HOLY FUCKING SHIT, I CANNOT TAHAN THIS!!!!

Sometimes I wonder how could I survive the time of two years ago.

My mother was a really bad alcohol addict. Thus, I was crying every night.
I was constantly sleep-deprived. 3~4 hours of sleep/night? Oh, my routine.
Tests? I missed out on a lot of them before, so I was writing them on other dates. TWO, THREE TESTS A DAY? OH, another routine.
Every weekend in PN full of Maths, Physics & Chemistry and NO RESULT at the test?! Yes, I know how it feels.

I was at the verge of tears every damn fucking Friday when I was yet again off to PN. Even now I am whenever I have to go there again for the tuition.

IT WAS THE MISTAKE OF MY LIFE THAT I WENT TO THE GRAMMAR SCHOOL I AM STILL ATTENDING.

The only good thing at it are my classmates which are lovely, sweet people whom I really really like. But otherways? FUCK. IT. ALL.

Enough rants for today.

One more: AFTER MY FATHER HAS "REPAIRED" THIS PC, EVERYTHING IS FUCKING SLOW AND DOESN'T WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God, if You exist, then I wanna slap you. =_=

Listening to: "Babo" by TVXQ
Yay!: Erm...maybe we're off to Cape Verde Islands for Xmas & New Year! ^_^
Grrrr: Read this entry, OK.

Damn Busy Next Week

I'm back from yet another 46453478754257800853268th Maths tuition in PN.
Grrr, I'm seriously TIRED OF THIS LIFE. And I'll be more! See my next week:

MONDAY:

8.00 ~ 12.35 School
13.30 ~ 15. 30 Geography Seminar
16.30 ~ 18.30 Art course

TUESDAY:

8.00 ~ 12.35 School
13.30 ~ 15.30 History of Art Seminar
17.15 ~ 19.15 TOEFL prep course

WEDNESDAY

8.00 ~ 13.30 School
After 13.30 walk with Haku
16.00 ~ 19.00 Part time job (selling ethno stuff at Xmas market)

THURSDAY:

9.50 ~ 12.35 School
After 12.35 walk with Haku
Maybe Maths tuition afterwards
17.15 ~ 19.15 TOEFL prep course

FRIDAY:

8.00 ~ 9.40 Society Studies seminar
9.50 ~ 14.25 School (MATHS TEST!!!!!)
16.00 ~ 19.00 Part time job




OH MY DEAR GODNESS.
I think I must go to bed now so I can handle at least tomorrow if not the rest of the week...for I think I'll just die. =_=





Listening to: "My Life" by Mary J. Blige
Yay!: Ehm...dunno. The money I get? It's too little anyways, so...no. =_= 60Skk/hour, WTF!!!!! The hostessing job is better, there I get 100Skk/hour. YUMMY! ^^
Grrr: THIS LIFE!!!! I CANNOT TAHAN IT ANYMORE!!!!!!!! *bangs head & throws chairs around*

Let Me Breath


It's been a bad day
Let me rest now
Leave me alone
Let me breath
Leave me with myself

Life's such a bitch
And so are us within it
I can't breath anymore

Where's the joy
Where's the love
Where's the harmony
I ask myself
As I come home late
Exhausted and lonely

Where's the hug
Where's the tranquility
When for being human
We lack the ability

What right do you have
To attack me?!
Look at yourself, you loser
You're no better than me
Empty
Fake
Shallow
Poser
No man
Shut the fuck up & go away

I have no time for you
Telling me I'm
Stupid
Ugly
Fat
Disgusting
Must be such a great ego boost
Loser
I used to like you, 'friend'
Bye, until you grow up!

Let me breath
Take me to wherever I could
Gain the courage to live
Learn to love again
Stand up & smile

Stereotypic life
Grey, sad & troublesome
Let the golden sunshine
Pierce my grey heart
Hug me, Happiness
See my standing here alone?

Let me dream
Then pursue it
Let me run through the rainbow
With a smile on my face

Let me breath
The Life
Let me breath
Careless & free

Let me breath
Confident & successful
Let me breath
Let me breath
For now I can't