I've came to a decision. I'll do it sooner or later when I'm ready & then I'll die of sadness but it's necessary.
No matter how much I'm trying to tell myself that "we'll be fine after a while" & "he'll change and I'll change for him" & "he'll mature" & "I won't be a bitch anymore", I'm always coming to the one & only result - NONE OF IT WILL HAPPEN.
We were born to be with someone else, not with each other.
I'll be strong & won't cry & get headache and fever again. Girl power!
I loved him but now I only like him. I still care for him & because I do, I shall not let him suffer in a relationship which is going nowhere. He deserves better, I deserve better.
Even imagining me doing *that* makes me depressed but I'll be strong. I promise I will. Nothing is eternal. Once, even the Sun will perish but during my life it'll still shine.
What do the Buddhists say except for "nothing is eternal"? "If you're too attached to a certain thing/person, you can't let it go easily."
Yes, that's my case. But it's certainly just holding onto a sinking ship. We're sinking, no matter how hard are we trying to fake being alright.
*That* will be better for both of us.
I have spoken.
I'll need your help my lovely duckies - in case I'll try to change this decision, slap me hard. I'll also need your help in making me feel better. I'm oversensitive so I'll be depressed like fuck but I beg you to make me smile. THANK YOU. I LOVE YOU ALL.